Stagnant. My primary [6] roots.

Worthless Creature

2005-12-21T01:19:00.000+08:00

I feel so disgusted by myself right now.

What stupidity!

What ugliness!

What a good-for-nothing!

Look, it is OK to look less than presentable if you have the smarts or the personality to make up for it and vice versa.

My IQ is probably that of a tortise (people don't call them slow for nothing), and we are definitely alike personality wise. It's cowardly and shy (ducks head into shell), I'm cowardly and shy. It's not facinating in any way; neither am I. It's lethargic, like how I am lazy. That's it. God, I am an incarnation of a tortise! I would much rather have been a fox or a bunny.

I look pretty in certain photos because I wear make up. Weird, not-your-basic-make-up make up. And people say it is dumb- I read their conversation on a forum.

They are right- it is. But I hate the way I look, which really does not help my self-deprecating nature. So now what?

Sorry to sound proud saying this, but I feel that I am a nice person who has quite a bit to share, if only people would get to know me. But of course, I have to be worth their attention first, and how easier than to judge me by my appearance?

And I don't have the intelligence, the elusive wit, to prove myself worthy. Worthy of what? To be human, of course! If you are a hideous -and by hideous I mean not being pretty, not only being fugly, cos looks matter A LOT-, dumb and indolent creature, you are not fit to be human. At least in my book. Ironically, I am the perfect icon for what I have just described.

Nevermind whether I have a good heart or not cos I have morphed along these years. I am a much more callous, unkind girl than in the past. So what if I give money to the poor (beggars) and do volunteer work? It makes me feel better about myself, it helps to ease my soul. But it does not make me a better person. I am still unfilial, because I have failed to achieve high academic results, which means I will not get a decent job in the future, hence resulting in me being unable to support my parents financially.

Because geniuses help the world evolve. They can form substantial theories just because an apple falls off a tree and hits them on the head. People pay them for their ideas. The smart people are able to goad others into investing in their products, gain by targeting ugly idiots who want to overcome their insecurities and actually find a partner in life.
Gorgeous people can easily earn their keep by charming the socks off people and, advantageously, get a job. Even if they are barely qualified enough. Plus, they can always be models. Furthermore, they will have the self-esteem to believe in their ideas and actually carry them out, unlike people without it who keep mum for the sake of looking bad. Metaphorically.
Hardworking people make up for their lack of brain cells, hence they can climb up the work ladder and actually achieve something as well. They also inevitably win over the trust of their superiors. And even if they are bona fide imbeciles, they will still get income cos they are willing to do anything, eg. clean toilets.

Sure, you tell me that we can choose to be hardworking or not. That's easy for you to say, if you actually are interested in studying, in this case. You know, I hate it so much that my body rejects it? I feel very very tired alll of a sudden, and within 5 minutes, I fall asleep. No kidding. Sometimes I even feel a teeny bit nauseous. Again, I kid you not.

I can be very intent on doing something and slog it out all the way, but that's for other stuff. Like furniture re-arranging. Otherwise known as a room face-lift. It's dusty, it's tedious and it's boring (to some), but I love it. After I plan how I want my room to look like, I shift my stuff to get it that way, heavy bookshelf and all. I can spend hours on designing it alone. It isn't easy cos I only have that much furniture to work with, and the windows, lights and door restrict the number possible positions. My point is, I tried to study, but I am not studying material, and that sucks.

There is nothing I can do about looking the way I am except to a) try to delude everyone, including myself, with all kinds of make up or b) accept myself the way I am and hope that others do too. Tough.

Though I am obviously no child prodigy, I don't think that I am a total nitwit either. But thanks to education -and my incredibly lazy bone-, my existance will only serve to be a waste of precious space in Singapore. I won't be able to contribute to anything, since I did so poorly for my Os. I haven't gotten back my results yet, but I just know I flunked. Really badly.

Great. Now I have just confirmed through the above paragraphs that I am indeed a waste of oxygen, scumbag of the earth. But I absolutely cannot commit suicide because, well, that'd be commiting afterlife suicide, according to christianity. I'd go to hell for it. Since I am so useless, it'd be unfair for me to look good when I don't naturally, right? I am but a fugly vain airhead.

So OK, I think I will revert back to my old, hood-eyed self and try to be confident instead of relying on products to attain faux eyelids. Or die trying.

* I am blogging here cos I want to be heard- by strangers who have the same problem as me, emphasis on strangers, if you failed to notice. I am counting on the fact that those who actually read my blog (I doubt there are many anyway) know of my new blog address and never visit this site again. So if you do know me, please don't let me know that you have read this entry. I might die from embarrassment, and though that might be a good thing for the world, I don't think I want to go this way and have this incident inscribed on my epitaph. Just imagine: Here lies Cheriss Lee (fake name), she who went went for the better. Or however it is supposed to go. Bye.

grr

2005-10-25T16:41:00.000+08:00

BLOODY HELL!

I am so angry!!!

Haven't been so angry for a long time already!

I am taking the Os seriously lor! KNS! Maybe it's because you haven't gone through this phase, or maybe it's because you're unreasonable, but frankly, I think you're just being stupid. Blind is it?! Accusing me is enough OK! I hate hate hate it when people don't believe what I say! Lies I tell are white lies. YOU THINK I'D GO THROUGH ALL THAT JUST TO KEEP UP WITH MY LIE AR?! When you use that sacarstic tone, I kept my mouth shut. But actually, I am freaking irritated lor! 'Cos it's not funny in the least, then you there...! And I fucking hate it when people say "ya lah, ya lah" in that tone- I am not lying lah!

I was willing to forget and even sms you tonight to see whether we're still going tomorrow, but I GUESS THAT WOULD BE REDUNDANT NOW, wouldn't it?!

You're not my mum anyway, so what do you care where I go?! May it be ITE or Poly, it's none of your B.O business! If you were truly concerned, you wouldn't ditch me now, would you? Would you?! If you really had meant what you said, then you wouldn't still be mad at me. (Not that there's anything for you to be mad about- that should be me!) So what I can conclude is that you thought I ditched you, and are not happy about it. Well, good luck sulking!

And just so you know, I studied with Elaine yesterday. The whole damned tourism chapter! *****!

heeren

2005-10-16T00:44:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG!!!!

Wei Jian is so utterly adorable!

And guess what? I got to freaking shake his godly hand! Twice!

Plus, I got his small signature (first time) on the cover page and a BIG signature (second time) on the back page!

Betcha would've given anything to be in my place! Not even guys can resist his allure OK!

Everything has a catch- at least with me. So this was it: I didn't look at his face both times! Like, what kind of idiot does that?! You go up the stage, of course you want to get an eyeful of him, right? Then like that, I didn't connect with him! Charmaine says his eyes fang4 dian4! I know its been repeated many times, but I could've experienced it!!! I was just too dumbfounded to do anything lah! The first time I went on stage, I didn't even crack a smile! Couldn't find anything to say, so I just chanted "xie4 xie4" all the way! Good job.

He won't remember me for sure lah, like that! HOWWW?!

The whole thing was like it never happened, you know? I was so frozen, I was worse than Jun Yang in the Dong1 Tian1 Yi4 Ba2 Huo3 MV! My eyeballs and mouth- all could not move! Thank God I managed to have sense enough to pass him my letter!

His hand was cold -probably due to the air con- and hard (manly!), and he was so tanned! He shaved his head again, I think, judging from the photos I took. One more chance, and I'll make eye contact, promise! Everyone else did!

Woke up at 6+ in the morning and reached at 8 to wait outside Heeren. Met Shi Hui, Elaine, Rachel and Weizhen there. Djeirainc people are so bubbly! I got to know Si Hui, Yu Hui and Wendy too... Too bad I didn't have much chance to talk to them because some people cut between us when we migrated over to the other Heeren entrance. I was left with Shi Hui and Weizhen.

Shall tell you about them lah. I really enjoyed talking to all of them- everyone clicked instantly! Except Weizhen, because she refused to speak. I think she has speech problems, but pretended to be oblivious and tried to include her in conversations. Yu Hui is so lucky! She once got to talk to Wei Jian for 3 whole hours! I am so jealous! And somehow, she knows everything about the Superstars!

Rachel is really a child at heart... She's 21 but behaves as if she is 17! Very amiable and easy-going too! And get this- our birthdays fall on the same date! Isn't that cool? Sometimes, she does whatever I want to do/say. It has got to have to do with serendipity, I tell you! Si Hui is like Rachel, only, she's younger than me! And no, we don't share the same birthdate, haha!

Shi Hui is the very obliging type, very helpful. She has imagination and spunk, and even knows how to fold boxes! I see already, gong3 gong3 lor.

Elaine is to sweet as TPSS is to old. She's always smiling, and she is really cute! Her actions all that- she can be a female version of Wei Jian! Haha, but still, Wei Jian reigns supreme lah. Very touchy-feely, like Huda and Nur. She keeps lying on my shoulder and grabbing my hand. It all feels so affectionate, like we've been long time friends :) Sometimes I mind people doing that, but, don't know leh, I'm OK with her doing it. In fact, I hugged her when she came off the stage after letting Wei Jian sign our lyrics.

This chiobu Charmaine added me in MSN (I still don't know how she got my e-mail) and we chatted for a short while. Without me hinting, she offered to inform me about news of Wei Jian (eg. Superfunkies recording when Wei Jian will be there). So generous of her! I must say again, she is very, very pretty!

Would've liked to write more, but I'm really pooped now, so TATA~

*Wei Jian, please remember me!

stupid girl here

2005-10-12T14:47:00.000+08:00

The next paragraph is dedicated to my dear computer lah :)

What the hell is wrong with you?! I have already used Farizah's Pandasoft thingie, so why the hell are you still so cranky?! Don't even begin to try to tell me I am the cranky one... I shovelled 3/4 pint of high-calorie gunk down my throat waiting for you to start up leh! Computers don't understand, but calories are hard to blast.

Today has been really crappy. Yesterday too, for that matter. I shall be kind and spare you the details, though.

I am ashamed to say that I shall not be meeting Adeline and company till the end of my Os when I had initially announced ever so confidently that all that would not affect me. It's time to bring out the big guns now; Do I even have them? (To all yellow-minded idiots: Not those guns lah!) My prelims results suck. I had started working on my Maths and Chemistry for awhile before the exams, and yeah, they have improved, but my other subjects have plummeted like dead crows from the sky.

Which reminds me... Someone, please kill that bird outside my school! The one that chirps its squeaky, 1-chirp-every-2-seconds chirps whenever Abbas enters the class during the mock exams. I swear, it doesn't miss a beat! I don't know whether anyone has noticed it, but I certainly have, and it annoys the hell out of me.

Uh, back to before I digressed. I don't know why my other subjects have deproved, since I didn't study for them in the past as well. Do not assume that my Maths and Chemistry have improved by leaps and bounds, because the difference my studying made was so small, it was insignificant. I studied for 2 whole bloody weeks OK!

I feel so -argh!- dumb. Which is so ironic, because I think that all stupid people should die. I hate feeling and appearing fat, but it is OK for others to be. I don't want to be ugly, but want the rest of the world to be. But I hate everyone who's moronic, for some reason, even when I am one of those morons. God, this is so depressing, I don't want to blog anymore. Bye.

ji de wo!

2005-10-11T09:17:00.000+08:00

It's a Tuesday morning, and -wah!- everyone is at home! More Sunday than Sunday!But uh-oh, I seem to have trod on someone's toes.

FM sms-ed us, and she was pretty riled up about us not going to school and not telling her. Oops. Let me defend my case a bitttt first ar. I thought SY or someone would have gone, considering that Hafiz commanded us to, and this has also happened to me once before. But yeah, FM definitely has it worse because she is now in e3, with a bunch of people she isn't exactly buddy buddy with, so... Sorry ar.

The bottom line is, if you still haven't guessed it yet, how am I going to face her in school later? I do not appreciate having daggers stared into the back of my head (she sits behind me) for 2.5 hours, thank you very much.

Sandhu's class yesterday was an utter waste of time. No offence, but he was teaching us verbs and nouns, for goodness' sake! I still don't have a clue what they are, but -who cares?- I'm not going to use those skills for Os anyway. Even Sabrina, top student in our cohort, says what he was teaching is redundant.

Went to Orchard on Saturday. OK, OK, I know I should get my priorities straight and everything, but I desperately need a decent pair of slippers and a jacket, so cut me some slack, alright? (Sometimes I just imagine I am talking animatedly with my blogder when in actual fact, no one is reading my blog :)

Anyways, get this- Wei Jian and a bunch of I-forgot-whos were there too! In Cineleisure! How could I have not seen them? HIM? Argh! I am going to the autograph or whatever session this Sat. Mustmustmust remember me!

skippy me not

2005-10-05T12:23:00.000+08:00

OK, I know I have been shedding (blog) skins every other day this past week, but I promise, I'll keep this one, the falling leaves one, for a period of time. It's not bad, is it?

Am in school now, it is FNN period. All the other Chinese girls have absented themselves again, but that's fine by me. I actually enjoy being ignored. Am I a weirdo?

They skipped school yesterday as well, and so did I. For the first half of school anyway, because that was Chinese, and, well, who wants to stick around listening to that? So I left home at 10+ and arrived just as Shahril stepped into the class. Luckily I wasn't late lor. I thought I would be, because I (this is embarrassing, but what the heck) took the wrong bus to school and ended up having to walk quite a long stretch of road.

I sure hope I do OK for my Os.

pls kill me

2005-10-03T18:52:00.000+08:00

Someone kill me please, kill me!

She has Wei Jian's blog url! Can you believe it?! And I think Wei Jian tagged her on her blog!!! I swear, I almost fainted. Like, she is so freaking lucky! And for your information, lest you think I am lucky for chancing upon his blog address, there's something wrong with the url so it is UNATTAINABLE! I want so badly to ask her for the address and whether that guy is Wei Jian or not, but I don't know her and have never talked to her, so that would be kind of awkward, not to mention a little too... practical. HAIYA!!!

I am not going to talk much about the concert. No mood. It was so sad lor.

There wasn't a lot of Wei Jian, and anyway, I was too busy being star struck that I forgot to listen to him singing and performing. I just stared. Wasted, right? Ran forward when it came to the encore part and saw that he was trying to hold back his tears. Could see his lower lip trembling. I am such a copycat- I did whatever he did.

Saw him on the bus later on. HE SAW ME! I am sure of it! Please, oh, please, remember my poster (purple background, your name in gold, "W" drawn as a crown on your head, tongue sticking out, right hand posing a twist) and my face (hoop earrings, purple tee), OK? Even if I was the ugliest girl you saw that night, please bear with it :) I promise, you'll see me 2 years later! Oh yeah, in case you didn't get my little game of charade, I was motioning for you to "bu4 yao4 ku1" lah. Don't, OK? It's bad for health or something. And it depletes your tear ducts, which in turn uses up body fluid, which causes sore throat. OK, I'm just making that up.

Failed my English paper 2. Scored a pathetic 21 marks. A job well done, huh?

It gets worse. Maths paper 1- fail. Paper 2- borderline pass. Overall- fail. Really, kill me anytime.

I'll be at the airport studying, if anyone wants to do the deed.

Edited
Just realised Wei Jian graced Superfunkies yesterday! OMG. I rely on the forum for these things, but Djeirainc didn't mention anything about him being there! I am so horrified by the thought of missing the show, which aired twice, I might add, I am going do my FNN to take my mind off it. When I resort to doing FNN, you know it's bad.

concert day

2005-09-30T13:04:00.000+08:00

WAHOO!!!

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is The Concert!

7 hours more... I think you all can prepare to skip reading the next post already, because I'll be gushing about how adorable and fine Wei Jian is, and all his quirky little actions. I can't wait!

Went to my uncle's wedding dinner last night and looking at them, I think that maybe getting married isn't such a bad thing after all. Especially when you're of his age- 40 (I think). Marrying late means that your spouse will have a smaller possibiltiy of commiting infidelity, and that you won't get bored of him for a happy 5 years more than you would marrying at 35.

My uncle looked so jubilant that I actually almost cried on more than one occasion. And I haven't talked to him since, what, kindergarten? It was such a touching scene, you know? I wonder if I'll ever get to experience that.

I don't think so lah, I am so sinful to have all the traits of the 7 deadly sins, and I start all my sentences begin with "I". I also pepper the word in every sentence. I am a glutton (you don't know how much I eat at home), I am a bitter, envious person, I am lazier than the sloth itself, I want face more than I want $30 (I still remember that NTUC thing with mum), I am not satisfied with what I have, forever greedy for more (a pair of bewitching eyes and IQ 180, for starters)... and I get erections when I see pretty men like VJ Utt ;) Of course I have good points too, but a true blue sloth does not bother to type about that.

So this is how it is going to be now? Angsty teens like us, who are at their peak of self expression (you don't see an adult wearing gothic make-up, do you?), are restricted to do exactly so? I had no problem with those people up there before, but after I heard this, I think they are being plain unreasonable.

I don't write everything I want to say in my blog already, because I know it is public and I don't want everyone to see my naked thoughts, but now there's this new rule thing. Not that it affects me very much, but when the time comes, I think I would need somewhere to vent, and where better than here? This applies to every other blogger out there as well. Now we have to worry about whether anyone is scrutinizing our blog or not, which is so wrong.

Scored 63/120 for Chemistry. OK, lousy, I know, but I have always been flunking Chem, and lots of people failed, so while this is not an A, I would like to congratulate myself for improving.

Crappy excuses! I will be going to ITE at this rate! I must, I must work hard. Cross my heart. My fingers are uncrossed lah, what see see!

uh oh

2005-09-29T00:56:00.000+08:00

Read Xia Xue's most recent post and the furious torrent of comments on blogs, teachers and privacy.

First person who came to mind: Huda. I immediately clicked the link to her blog, and sure enough, it was gone! Then I went to Ken's and found out exactly what had happened. Poor, poor Huda.

I've been robbed of my 2nd favourite blog! =[

(If you ever google your name again, Huda, I hope this^ cheers you up, at least a teeny bit. You know, I've refrained from praising anyone whom I thought might chance upon my blog through blogsurfing on my blog ever since you did.)

So blogging isn't private, but come on, everyone knows stuff like that is not credible! I shan't talk about this anymore lah, so disheartening.

I have learnt how to cycle already! Almost, anyway. Like, I cannot make sharp turns and stuff, but at least I can move around, butt on the seat and feet not touching the ground, without falling flat on my face! I'd like to think of that as an achievement. Mag wasn't so lucky. She fell roller-skating and scraped her knee... And she thinks that the scab that is going to form will look cool! Cheah, right.

She gave me a wallet today. It's quite boy, but I like it. I'm not that girl anyway, though I'd rather she bought me the white one. Nothing at all would be fine too, just in case you mistake me for being too materialistic. She had slipped this self-made note thing into the box too, which I found quite... (pardon me while I take a lifetime to search for the correct word)

Jenn has asked me to go to the don't-know-what awards with her, and I've agreed. $20 required- so not worth it! Especially since I am a pauper now. But I know she wants to see Energy really badly, so being the sweet little thing I am -ahem!-, I acceded to her request.

My reward? Gina is giving me her you-weekly, which features Wei Jian! YAY!

fate

2005-09-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

So I was flipping through that TP brochure today, scanning, scanning... David Aw?! At that instant, I knew it was fate.

OK, maybe not, but he's the guy I raved about last week- the guy acting opposite Olinda! Can you believe he's Singaporean? Must be very mixed-blood.

Maybe Shooting Stars isn't so bad. The plot was a typical innocent romance one, the type so predictable, any self-respecting 14 year old girl would be able recite it off the tip of her tongue. But they had made it really cute, like when Jack asked Olinda for a goodnight kiss (his goonduism is endearing) and accidentally pressing the button thingie so Olinda's dad heard everything, haha! Next week, it's going to be about Jessea- she's going to fall right into the arms of George (Adam). Nice, but I won't be watching.

The prelims will be over after tomorrow, 10am. At last. I am so sick of everything school. Didn't study for the science paper today, but thankfully it was pretty easy. At least I think it was, emphasis on think. My Geography is a goner. I didn't do the 25 mark question. The paper was over 50, mind you! Plus, I can't read a map to save my life, so no points scored in the map-reading section either. As expected, I studied the chapter which was the most unimportant.

Watched Initial D on vcd! Don't even think it- I know I'm lag. What do you care? Anyways... Edison was as suave as ever, and Lawrence (?) uncle, Jay's dad, was very, very intense. He oozes confidence like oil out of your dilated pores. Oops, disgusting metaphor, huh? Paiseh. Jay's voice is so soothing, and the computer effects and driving techniques (Shawn has a great footwork thing going on) were just, to sum it up in one word, cool.

Then again, you'd want to evaluate it yourself, because I wouldn't know cool if it came up and socked me in the eye, would I?

Went to Parkway, then to Dora's house today. All I can say is, bring on the volts! Haha, shh, Dora!

I'll be learning how to cycle tomorrow. Ya lah! I don't know how to work those damn 2-wheeled things! I can ride a tricycle, though =)

not getting any. smarter

2005-09-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

I am 16 now, and not getting any smarter...

One fine example:
History prelims paper was yesterday. Reached school just in time. In time to see everyone starting the paper, I mean.

It's the prelims, for goodness sake! I am assuming that it is a very important exam period because it is called something else besides SA and is not some abbreviated form.

Everyone told me that the paper was starting at 11am, so being the nitwit that I am, I arrived on the dot. No lah, 11 01, actually. So embarrassing! I was huffing and puffing like Mr Big Bad Wolf from The Three Little Pigs, sweating buckets while everyone was starting their paper. Brilliant.

Wei Jian's CD didn't (and still hasn't) come out in stores. What is this! Get my hopes up only.

I also ditched Dora for Jenn and JX. Which is a horrible, horrible thing to do. It was sort of for a good cause, but still. Weakling.

They forgot. Even FM remembered. I shouldn't even be surprised. They're not true friends to begin with, and I most certainly will not be contacting them after I graduate. It's not me, it's them.

Today: I spilt a grande-sized coke at BK. The cup was full, of course.

Still can't type tonight! I am freaking tired. Night.

Wei Jian's bald! And still as adorable as ever...

2005-09-22T21:24:00.000+08:00

No thanks to the rain, I have now, attached to each ankle, a bloated, wrinkly chunk of flesh. Stop eew-ing, you girly girls, stop, I say! That's my job! I didn't go home straight from school, and now it's 9+, so you can imagine lah, how my feet are soaked to perfection. They're probably whiter than Snow White's! Disgusted? There's more! I took photos of them, just to gross you out! :) I suffered, so it's only fair what...

Today is 220905, and guess what? I am A-ok! Not that anyone cares, but yeah.

There is a tiny picture of WEI JIAN in this week's edition of I-weekly! He's bald, and he looks so darn adorable! In a blur blur ex-convict kind of way. I cannot wait to see him live!

It is so plain that I-weekly (mandarin version of 8 days) is making use of the Superstars to make money. Damn myself, because I let them. Why can't 8 days feature Wei Jian too? Because then, I'd actually get to read the contents of the magazine I paid good money -2 freaking dollars!- for.

Taking Chinese lessons has absolutely nothing to do with mastering the language. Absolutely nothing.

Adeline has called, and yup, I am going to do it. It won't cost me anything, I promise. I won't let it.

Yesterday's English paper was bloody tough! (Yeah, this is one of those abhorred exam-complaining paragraphs. Now, scram!) To me, anyway. I cannot afford to fare badly in English, now that I have decided to give up on Geography, Social Studies and Chinese.

Maths was killer, and I am so dead. I could go on to tell you about every single mistake I had made, but that would take eons, so I guess I'll leave you hanging (Ha!). The bottom line is, I flunked.

Eye candy

2005-09-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

Olinda Cho is one lucky girl! She gets to snag that Jack guy, even if it is just for show!

We all know that Shooting Stars is a lame show, but there are perks, man. Men! Get a load of the eye candy ;) That guy makes 'Jack' sound cute and puts Singapore's finest to shame.

Our prelims are here, and my mind is everywhere but. Foo Lee Lee (I'd call her Fool, but she's kind of cute for a teacher) said that there were only 10 passes for paper 1. That just goes to show how much I can do. Very little, even with a tuition teacher.

Had my Social Studies and Chemistry paper today, and both I left incomplete. No time. I didn't have much to write anyway. Studied a little for SS- chapter 1, the one which didn't come out. And just my luck to have been caught dozing off 10 minutes into the paper. Hopefully Kaur doesn't use that against me when we get back our results. I don't want to let her down- she's nice. Too bad I have no intention of studying SS and Geography, even for Os. I hate those 2 subjects, as well as chi-nese. Chemistry... No comments.

Many types of people in the world, aren't there? Some hide their stinking skeletons in the closet (in more ways than one, I might add), some are conceited and, ironically, useless bums, and others are just accidents waiting to happen. The world is so pathetic.

Pathetic, that I am. Which tallies with the above, since I am, albeit akin only to a spec of dust, part of the world. Anyways. It's because of my financial (must sound classy) situation lah. What else did you think is pathetic about me, huh?! I think I'm going to have to sell some stuff on e-bay or do that thing Nur's friend does. Problem: I don't even have a camera for me to snap and post pictures with. How? Don't tell me to send via MMS- it's costly. And a camera is not?, I hear you ask. Well, mind your own business lah! I just want a digi-cam! And a mp3 player, and a new handphone... All of which need money.

I also need clothes, and what about the stupid prom night gown and accessories? They are going to cost a bomb! It's going to be held at Swiss hotel, by the way. Wherever that is. Going to the prom is seeming more and more pointless by the day. I wouldn't have any fun, I'm wouldn't look pretty. I wouldn't even have anything to cry about! I mean, we're supposed to cry at proms, right? Or am I mixing that up with graduation? Graduation night = prom night, no? Whatever.

Rewind to the other night
Mag's dad literally took us for a ride in his lorry (YAY!) around Geylang and Changi Village. Red light district, prostitute haven. Whoa! We saw many, umm, turned-women women, all provocatively dressed, of course. I would've never expected such a sight in Singapore- One of them actually lay on a motorcycle, giving everyone a clear view of her cleavage. It's really off-putting!

I don't have any problem with gays, OK? But I do have a problem with promiscuous behaviour. Logically speaking, it's fine what. I guess it's only normal for people to have sexual urges and, for some, to feel the need to show off their voluptuous curves, but somehow, there is something really morally wrong about all this, even though they are consenting adults. My point is, I don't know why I find the people there disgusting. Pardon me if I sound like a nitwit.

OK, enough gay talk. Now, if you are a 30-40 male and think that you're mighty sexy because some girl wolf-whistled at you on Saturday (if I remember correctly), you're sadly mistaken. Ya lah, I was she, hehe! I wasn't on drugs/alcohol, but something just possessed me to do so. Maybe because of the scenery, and the wind blowing in my face and hair.

That night was reminiscent of the other time, when Anna was with us. Made me experience an epiphany of emotions this time, though, conflicting feelings and stuff. But my emo-time quickly faded as we crooned away. Fine. As we made noise.

Dad called me and I realised that it was way past my unspoken curfew. He was so damn serious, not to mention bloody obstinate. Why does he not understand that I don't want to trouble him? Men are dumb. Had an ominous feeling. I knew it all too well. We would start debating, me on the losing end, and he would keep asking me "Why?" in that sickening calm voice that brings out the worst in me. You know what his Whys are or not? "Why are you not tired?" HOW I KNOW AR! Not tired means not tired what! Why do I not want to bother him (he wanted to fetch me because he has a taxi)? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT LA! He's 55, for goodness' sake! Men are beyond dumb. Anyways, after 3 hours of intense interrogation-cum-debate, I'd storm to mum's room to cry (because of frustration, not sadness) to sleep and wake up the next day avoiding him/answering him in the most detached voice I can manage.

But, butbutbut all that did not happen. I thought it would right, what with him being so unreasonable on the phone. Instead, we settled everything within 90 minutes, which, for your information, is considered record-breakingly quick, and we both compromised and agreed that I would be home by 10pm if I were to come home on my own. If I were to be fetched home, I could stay out till 12am.

I still have more to say, but I think I'll stop here, otherwise I might just make it to the top 10 on the Who Has the Draggiest, Most Sleep-inducing Blog chart. I'm having biology and don't-know-what tomorrow. Jialat, haven't studied! Tata for now~

cations

2005-09-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

Happy 20th birthday, Wei Jian!

I meant to post this yesterday, but I was lazy, and I still feel like complaining today, so here goes...

Was in a dark mood. I don't think I smile enough, nowadays, because of this problem only I seem to notice. Stupid people, pushing me into this farce, this joke of a friendship. I keep telling myself to treasure what I have now, because I'm going to want to be me now 2 months later. You know lah, fate has a funny idea of what is funny.

My Bio and Chem (combined) Practical Exam Boo-boos

#1 Wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to open the visking tubing. I initially thought the manufacturer had sealed the hole or something!

#2 Then I ignored the part where the question paper told us to tie the first knot using the string because I thought that was redundant since the tubing had already been knotted. Luckily that little misstep didn't matter la.

#3 I mistook S1 (solution) for W1 (banana slice), and actually attempted to squash the banana using my hands! No knife what. Then I realised that I was supposed to use S1, not W1! Gah. So that was what that teacher seemed so amused about...

#4 Chemistry. Failed to notice notes behind.

#5 Added sodium hydroxide and Z to the rust, which I thought was the filtrate, wasting precious time. One of the mixtures sort of exploded lor, like volcano! It shot right up the dropper, and I was so taken aback, I almost dropped the test tube =x

I completed a few seconds after Mr Tan asked us to stop ok! Can you imagine how flustered I was? The good news is that I had cheated successfully! Haha, no la, I didn't copy or anything like that. (Moi? Cheat? Surely you jest!) I merely lied, which is really much better than cheating, ok!?, saying that the test I had conducted had indeed contained reducing sugar. And also, thank God I had memorised the reactions of copper and iron upon adding whatever solutions, I think I actually got the cation questions right! Now, that's a first!

*It's Wei Jian's birthday today. Just in case you didn't notice :)

ji won n mina

2005-09-15T01:13:00.000+08:00

OMG! Click:

http://www.cabucojuice.com/sad.html

*Sorry if I'm not supposed to link this. I couldn't help it.

lost (latest episode)

2005-09-11T13:15:00.000+08:00

Lost my wallet on the bus yesterday. I was pretty distraught, even though there was only $5+ inside. Yeah, I'm a pauper. But you've gotta understand- it contained the most recent neoprints of SY, Lyd and I. They were taken not-so-recently. We've grown apart, and though I'm ok with how things are now, I miss those days when we scoured Orchard, acted silly and hung out every weekend. So cliche right, what with everyone saying the same thing.

Anyway, I realised it, like, 5 seconds after I had alighted, and Mag and I went into a frenzy. Her ez-link was with me too la, shit! I wasn't thinking straight, so I rushed to the MRT contol station and requested that they called the bus uncle or something, bus no. 85__F (Mag caught the number). So paiseh!

Then we charged over the bus interchange and asked the people there. They said they weren't in charge of that bus and told us to call another outlet, which instructed us to call another station, which -surprise, surprise- gave us another number. Everytime I asked the uncles about the bus, I recited a different liscense plate number. It would've been funny if I wasn't so worried.

I gave the last uncle, who was very uncouth, I might add, my hp number so that he would be able contact me if he ever found my lousy wallet.

AND HE DID!

Bad omen (in disguise) #1.

The finder didn't even steal the money! Bad omen (in disguise) #2. So I'm going to Hougang later to collect it, wherever that is. Dad is fetching me. Bad omen (in disguise) #3. Mum accidentally tapped my head last night while she was asleep- with her foot. Bad omen (as it is) #4.

I hope I do OK for my prelims.

[edited]

Let's observe a minute of silence in tribute to the victims of the 911 incident, shall we?

Have a nice day, ya'll~

wei jian u rock

2005-09-09T01:34:00.000+08:00

Studied with Mag again today. So pathetic. We were down to our last dollars. Scratch that, I was down to my last 70 cents!

I'm sick of asking people to come out (not refering to Mag). So how about you ask me out for a change? I'm always the one initiating... I feel as if you are just complying to my requests. Who am I talking about leh? No one in particular la...

Wei Jian, YOU ROCK!

ns boy

2005-09-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

OMG! This day has finally come- go away, go away!

Today is the day Wei Jian is going to report for NS... NOOOO! I don't know why I'm feeling all sad and agitated, but I am! I mean, even if he doesn't go to NS, I still won't get to see him very often (excluding Sat's handshaking session).

Speaking of the handshaking session, HOW CAN SO SUAY ONE! Can't it be today? Or yesterday, rather, since it's past 12am now. I have never been within 1m radius of him before you know!

I have sent a sms to 93.3 to wish Wei Jian well... I hope he hears it (the DJ will read it la)! And also posted on the forum twice. Really, really want to send him off tomorrow, but I... #1 don't know where he's reporting (Pasir Ris?) #2 don't want to make him paiseh in front of his NS mates #3 want to give him some space.

DjEiRaInC will miss him and will wait for him. I believe that we will! Don't scoff and call me naive la! I used to think that way of others too, but I'm converted.

Did you know, Wei Jian can eat 4-5 bowls of rice at one go?! And he stands at only 165.5cm and weighs a mere 50kg! And, and he eats like a hamster! LOL so cute!

Quote from Ruth's (one of the finalists) blog:

"Wei Jian- The cutest guy around. The kind of guy u'll juz wanna kidnap and bring home to show ur mum. u all shld see the way he eats. he stuffs all the food in his cheeks and chew and...er...like hamster lor. he eats ALOT too. scary man. dunno where all his food go. probably go to his feet=/"

My gosshhhh! I shall try eating like that too... In the privacy of my home, of course. This type of thing-haha!- only Wei Jian can pull off without looking idiotic and come off looking/sounding incredi-cute instead.

Can't wait to see him on 300905! I bet he will look comical! Hope that my seat isn't too far from the stage, can still see his face. And that he can see mine! Maybe I'll sport an alfro do so that he'll remember me, haha! I know he said not to worry for him, but I can't help it! Our ah boy is taking the leap to manhood!

scarrry

2005-09-05T21:30:00.000+08:00

THAT WAS SO SCARY!

I've just reached home, my home sweet home. You have no idea how tough it was. Satan must have been behind it.

I was walking along the corridor, heading towards home, trying to dodge liz__s, as usual. Upon reaching the last light (that long bulb thingie), I sighted an extra juicy, pompous little bastard stuck smack in the middle of the it. Damn it! It was so freaking fat, I could see its veins protruding obscenely from its moist skin! I swear, its head was the size of a tortise's!

You cannot possibly ask me to cross that light, right? So I called mum to ask her to fetch me home and also to bring along an umbrella. She came with it, but as luck would have it, the damn umbrella would not open! Standing under that tainted light, mum tried, unsuccessfully, of course, to persuade me to cross under it. No way, Jose! I cannot fathom how she could stand under that mammoth of a liz so nonchalantly lor. Being the coward I am, I told mum to go home first, and I go-stun-ed until I reached the next stairway. That was such a wrong move.

Dodged some lizs and reached the last light, which had at least 3 lizs plastered over it. WHAT IS IT WITH LIZS AND LIGHTS?! They don't deserve to see the light of day, as far as I am concerned. And the (moon)light of night too, for that matter. That king liz, I tell you...! Peng ar!!! Its throat was pulsating like a fr__! My other arch enemy! Then what's the difference la, upstairs and downstairs both have devil guardian lizs!

I then decided to backtrack again and take the stairs from the other corner where I would be able to reach home without having to walk through any corridors. I am very careful ma, must check whether the ceiling behind me has any liz or not, so I stooped low and looked up- and saw yet another giant liz! What do they feed on huh! Xian1 dan1 is it! Grow so big!

Win already la, stupid lizs. I was stuck in the dark stretch of corridor, between the 2 heavily guarded lights. Behind me was a back window which reflected myself. I didn't want to look at that because it still is, I think, the Hungry Ghost Festival. In front of me was a spooky combination of leaves and pitch darkness, and I didn't want to look there for the same reason. Heck, I wouldn't want to look there even if this was not the HGF.

What to do? I was almost freaking out just pacing back and forth that short length of corridor lor. After 15 excruciating minutes, I decided to take a risk and chiong over to the other side, literally under the nose of the pulsating liz. My wounded ego did not allow me to call for mum again. I had a feeling that she was either scoffing or laughing inwardly at me. Scantily sheltered by my jotter book, I charged towards the greener patch of grass.

Once I had reached safe ground *wahoo! yay yay yeaaaa!*, I began to check for lizs on me. None. Heng ar! That was one of the most courageous stunts I've ever pulled ok! No doubt I did it for myself, but still... Then I had to climb 6 staircases, each commar-ed with a light. Argh! I inspected every light carefully, feeling like Will Smith in MIB. (Surely lizs are mutants? Why would God create something as hideous as they?) Scew you lizs!

Reached home finally. I hate this liz-infested block.

This entry ain't all about lizs la. I refuse to let those *&^%#@! creatures spoil my day! Went swimming with Mag early in the morning. 11 is considered early hor. We swam only 4 laps, then suntanned for awhile. Yay! You can see a faint bikini line on my back! Which means that I've tanned significantly la. My last tan has long faded.

After that, we went to study at the airport. Hah! You thought I was so complacent right, prelims around the corner still go swimming. I did that cherry book, the one I hate with a vengence. So hard... Its publishers must be very show-offy.

I'm pooped, so tata~

advance allowance

2005-09-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

What's the big deal? I don't see how giving me my allowance in advance, not extra, will affect her in any way. I really cannot delay another day! Well, I shall ask Dad then. Note that I'm "using my own money", which is technically theirs but... I'm lazy to explain la! If you understand, you understand.

I won't be spending a single cent on anything (else) for the rest of this week. This ain't no chicken feed leh... Ken doesn't know what nonsense he's sprouting; I can't save to save my life! Excuse the pun :)

They gave out free tickets yesterday, but I guess I caught the wind of it too late. 11am is too late.

Watched the finals on the telly, and -you guessed it- Wei Jian was superduper ultramanly cute! Especially when he sang My Anata and that other song (forgot). I melted into a pool of wax lor, he was so SO cute! He must wear that cap on 30th sep!

Everyone is attached, or soon to be, anyway, and I'll be left alone on the shelf of The Unwanteds once again. Not that I care for anyone to dote on me la. I'm perfectly satisfied with the way things are now.

Plus, I've decided: I'm not getting married! 3 cheers for the independent woman! I shall live by the likes of er4 gu4 (my 2nd aunt). Haha, maybe that boy knows what he's talking about afterall.

There must be something to karma, because I notice that I've got a lower middle class one, if you know what I mean. Ya la, my limbs are still intact and my eyes don't go all rolly-polly like Wei Lian's, but who says the little things aren't important? Things always screw up for me, just like they do for Dora. She too has bad karma. Maybe we were the CEOs of TCS in our past lives.

independent woman

2005-08-30T00:25:00.000+08:00

Late, humid nights, cranky computer, pending deadlines; these are the few things I suffer from everyday which I can cite you right off the top of my head. Probably because I'm here, living it.

Oh, there's more, of course, but I shan't go into details because I'm taking a leaf from that Samantha girl's book and allocate 6 minutes for every minor thing I do at home. So, chop-chop!

I feel that I'm loserish and admirable at the same time. Some of you may stare at me (computer screen) with scorn when I say this, but I went all the way to IMM alone on Sunday for about 3 hours to see -who else?- Wei Jian, then toured Tampines and Bedok for 2 just because I didn't want to go home yet. I think it's rather impressive, if I do say so myself =) It takes some moxie, no?

Blaa.. Too much self-praise, huh? The loser part is obviously because I had no accompaniment la. I'm not too keen on forging new friendships, hence my pathetic total number of friends, but I sincerely believe that those whom I had asked were occupied with their own stuff, so it'll sting a little if I do find out otherwise. I prefer forthright people.

As you might've guessed, more than 6 minutes has passed, so I might as well blog a little more. Have to redo my FNN, which isn't so good after all. Figures. (Not figures as in numbers, figures as in I knew it.)

My very unintelligent computer, which just won the Most Unlikely to Succeed in Leading Robots/Computers to Triumph Over Mankind award over the weekend, keeps hanging and stuff. I almost freaked out just now when I turned it on and faced a blank desktop. Like, nothing -not even the "start" button was there! I have to hand in my coursework by tomorrow, no questions asked ok! So...

I'd really like to stay and talk, but I've really got to go now. Bye!
^ Now, doesn't that ring a bell, guys?

jus a little sth

2005-08-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

This is getting marked and going down in history: I got A1 for my FNN, and I did it without any assistance! Aside from Abbas' explaination to us, that is. Maybe getting A1 is a breeze for you la, and you're scoffing at me, but if you know me at all, you'll know that I don't get A1s, ever.

I don't believe it! JH put up that notice at 10+ am today- when we were all in school! I would've seen it if it were yesterday, but as fate would have it, it was today. Damn!

Went to the gym yesterday with Mag and Ee Hua. I have no stamina la... Was worn out 15 minutes into the workout. Pathetic huh? My muscles are still aching mildly.

long gummy

2005-08-24T01:09:00.000+08:00

Had my O level English oral yesterday. It revolved around a very common topic -grown ups and adolesence- which I think Mrs Abbas had gone through with us before. And still I screwed up.

The invigilators were very polite and encouraging, smiling and nodding a la Joanne Peh interviewing some lucky shop owner. I wished that they would stop doing that. Until it was my turn anyway, so I would know for sure that I had done well, haa.

I kept stumbling over the simplest words [what's new] reading the passage and I think I was gaping at them like a koi on several occasions- when they asked me what I thought the picture was about, whether I thought that family was important in the society and why I thought so, since I said that I'd confide in my friends rather than in them. I had tried desperately to plaster a smile on my face, but I think it came off more as a grimace. In short, I had messed up royally.

But of course, that's what everyone thinks, everytime. Hopefully it's just me being paranoid! I cannot afford to lose marks in oral! My studies, as you know, suck.

Hafiz played the benevolent emperor today- no in-focus! Yayayayay! Spent the time wisely... By playing some cai1 quan2 mi4 ma3 or something =) That, for your information, is maths. It was fun, maybe even the parts where I got my formulars conked out of me.

You know what? Something just occurred to me- I've never ever spoken to Bing Guang before. Really, not even once. I also don't think I've exchanged more than 10 words with Foo Oung [?], my ex-classmate of 2 years, and I think he sat beside me for don't-know-how-many terms! What can I say? I am a caring classmate who doesn't like to obstruct her peers from learning in the wonderful environment of TPSS.

I must've broken some record... Ate a gummy sweet which was so long, it hung from my mouth to my knees! I took a few pictures of it, and almost couldn't fit the whole thing in ;)

You know la, I am highly-irritable. Please, please don't do stupid things like drawing on my paper repeatedly in hope of having some kind of drawing-playing thing after I've asked you to cut it out- it's annoying and juvenile, and I must be in a mood to have said that. Also, if I say no, I'm not angry, I mean it! It's when you say "I know you're angry la" that I get agitated. If I were upset, I'd tell you! Or show you my black as Mr Bao Qing Tian face so you'd know. I recover quickly though.

wei jian

2005-08-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday

Went to my first DjEiRaInC meeting! I should've joined looong ago, then I would've gotten whatever tickets! Aiya, this is up there on the stupidity level with me not going to PS and IMM [previous, not pending] to see Wei Jian la!

Being the patriotic citizens of Sg, we toured the what seemed like whole of Kallang in the sweltering heat. Lyd and SY couldn't stop complaining! But at least they went. Of course, SY wasn't that kind, hah. She came because she had intended to use this chance to while away time before she went to meet JX, and she also wanted to see what actually went on in club meetings. Too bad she regretted, haha!

Truth be told, I actually thought that the meeting was kind of boring. No one socialised with us or anything. There was this ultra friendly plump girl whom I assume is from the commitee though. She was nice to everyone [giving instructions, whatever].

Still, I was damn happy =) I ordered the official tee and applied for membership! Who cares that I don't know anyone there... I think of that later! We were told to do whatever stuff for Wei Jian so I wrote a letter to him, but I'm not sure whether he'll get to read it. I so hope he will! I had thoughts of sticking a neoprint there, initially, but decided against it. People see, sure scold.

Oh ya... You have no idea of the tribulations I went through ar. I was rushing my coursework like crazy for 3 days with virtually no sleep lor. Then, I had to rush to Farizah's house for the camera, then to TM to meet Aniza and Lydia, then meet SY on the MRT, then go to the meeting. And I ditched the idea of studying at the library with Lyd and SY, cancelled on Dora [so sorry!] and postponed tuition to tomorrow. This might not sound much, but believe me, life was hectic x__X

Today

Went to West Mall to see Wei Jian. Wow- thank you hor, weather gods [according to chinese legend]! So nice of you to bestow rain upon us on the day we get to see our idols leh! I bought a really tiny plus lousy umbrella from Watson, and Jenn and I shared it. Needless to say, I got soaked to the bone. Jenn was ok because she had jacket, thank God [I'm sincere this time]! She can't afford to fall sick- her O level oral, like me, is tomorrow. But unlike me, she is prone to illnesses. I was so freaking wet, it was akin to taking a bath! The place was really packed, and people's Umbrella Water -water dripping down at e tips, like how water droplets do from leaves- dribbled down my temples, my head, my arms like nobody's business.

The rain cascaded unmercifully on us for God knows how long, and many a fan gave up and retreated into West Mall, away from the what-seemed-like blizzard. YAY! Only one person, a DjEiRaInC-er -I recognise her from yesterday's meeting. And you tell me that I'm sotong!- seperated me from the barricade.

There were these 2 irksome, bu4 hui4 zou4 ren2 de4 fans who kept nudging me. One of them even blatantly squeezed her not-so-slim body in front of me! What the! Then the other one tried to wedge herself in too- how inconsiderate! I refused to yeild. I wanted to chatise her, but of course I didn't want to solicit unwanted attention, especially with the media crew there.

And the first girl- she kept zzzk-ing [disapproving noise] another girl just because her umbrella tip kept poking her head. What was her problem? She cut in front of me still have the cheek to zzzk others over something as trivial as that. Everyone had to deal with that too what... She was already drenched lor.

We waited and waited. Even the weather gods seemed tired of their sick little game, because the heavy downpour had dwindled to a drizzle. After what seemed like eons, but was actually around 2 hours, of waiting, the 8 other finalists appeared!

Wei Jian! I was surrounded by some Derrick fans, fortunately, and they kept shouting for him to look over, which he rarely did. Note: I don't think those 2 pushy people are Derrick fans. Wei Choong, if I'm not mistaken. Sad ar... He stood wayyy over on the other side of the stage. I was on the extreme left. We screamed and we cheered and we snapped [photos] for 5 minutes, and it was over.

Went to look for Jenn, non-Derrick supporter, at Jollybean. She waited so long for me... Kind of touched. She says it's because I always accompany her to see Energy even though I'm not an ardent fan. My legs were aching real bad. My back too. And I desperately needed to change out of my wet purple [fan club colour] tee -I brought one along, but it was because I wanted to change out of the fashion faux pas I was clad in, not because I had forseen rain.

You know what's the worst part about all this? Nope, not the rain. Nay, not the standing. It was 'cause I couldn't get any clear pictures of Wei Jian! Gahh. Farizah's camera fogged up on me, no thanks to the rain, so everything came out misty. I even asked that girl, Derrick fan, to help take Wei Jian's photos for me, but it was still the same.

Ok la, a break from the super cute, Wei Jian with the incredible vocals, whom, by the way, looked damn fine- he's definitely more handsome in real life! I so wanted him to look my way and give us his signature toothy grin and thumb's up sign! ANYWAYS, Jenn seemed a little preoccupied today, and initially, I thought I was the one who had provoked her, or that we were having one of those awkward silences because we were drifting apart. Guess not, since she relaxed later.

I've know you for 8 years leh, pig, of course I know when something is up! But I'm still not sure what the matter is... She's having her O level English oral tomorrow, and I hope she'll do well, lest her dad blaa3 her.

Guess who we saw on our way home? Regina and ___. I don't think it's a big deal, but maybe she doesn't want people to think that they're a couple, which they might not be, so I'm going to keep my lips sealed :]

frazzled nerves

2005-08-19T21:10:00.000+08:00

I really hope nothing goes wrong tomorrow, and that I'll get my tee. I can't wait for the 3rd batch! Who knows when that will be!

This has been an incredible week. Incredibly sucky. I shan't complain, and spare your eyes the agony. What my frazzled nerves need is coffee. Piping hot, deliciously icy... Bring it on! Diet pepsi will do too la. Caffeine does wonders.

Everyone loves Saturdays hor? Which is why PS' encore telecast is on that day, the meeting is on that day, study time with Dora is on that day, study time with -gasp!- Lyd and SY is on that day, tuition is on that day, I have to go to Abbas' house to deliver my FNN coursework on that day... God should seriously consider extending Saturday hours. Friday too, since everything that I need for Saturday has to be prepared on Friday, including cancelling stuff.

I had to catch my 40 winks, literally, during school today since I barely caught any sleep yesterday because of the ironically insomnia-curing FNN coursework. And my computer hanged on me this morning, at 6+, causing me to almost pee in my pants because I thought I had lost all my work. Oops. Forgot about my promise on not complaining. Zip.

I'm so dead if Hafiz marks the bio paper, because apparently, I know next to zilch about bio. His test proved my hypothesis right.

I'm not even sure whether that's^ FNN or bio.

losing it

2005-08-17T20:46:00.000+08:00

Dear computer, which I shall call ChippyDale,

It's wednesday night, almost 9pm, and I'm here with you, listening to your soothing renditions of the songs Wei Jian sang- the next best thing to hearing Wei Jian live. I have religiously worshipped the tv for flashes of Wei Jian on Channel U, ditching you, for the past 2 months, but tonight, I shall cast you aside no more. This past week you've been my best friend, feeding me with important Derrick-classified information for hours on end. I love you!

Regards,
Your ever-dominating, demanding dictator =)

Hah! What ChippyDale doesn't know is, I'll be having one last tryst with my old flame telly-tubby next week. Wei Jian will be gracing us with his presence on the show!

Gawd, I'm losing it.

My remote control is one forbidden object- till 9 40 anyway, when it's safe. When MediaCorp cannot get what they want [which is something I don't know how to explain- it adds to the viewership ratings one la]. They used unorthodox methods, and for that, I despise them.

I'm sure JY fans are all chua4 sai4-ing now, what with him screwing up his first few lines. No la, I didn't watch! Yi Shao told me. He's going to be deep agony for the next 26 hours, if he supports JY as much as he seems to. I had it bad last week. I looked out the window just now, and -damn!- there was one family watching it! I so wanted to watch using binoculars, but didn't for fear of being tagged as a pervert. I don't have it anyway. Hey, neighbour, how can you like that!?

Incredible! Sin Huey got 44. 44 OK! That's the best score so far, by far! I knew she had it in her! Jiayou!

Mag and I had planned on going to the gym with Ee Hua after school, but EH had gone home early today, so instead of blazing away calories, Mag and I piled them on at McD's. Why my plans for slimming/toning/tanning always foiled one! By the weather, the people, the time!

I'm getting more hideous everyday. One day I find that I have a wart[!], which is something only witches and Corrine has. Corrine, Cleo editor, said so herself.

Digressing a little... In fact, Corrine doesn't even have her wart anymore because she tried out the removing thing, using having to review it as an excuse! That's why I want to be a magazine editor too!

Then I start to break out mildly [nevermind, I'm sure it'll become worse later, and I'm just as sure you can't wait] at the forehead, because of my bangs, most probably. I can feel the folds of fat around my waist, like bouncy little tyres. My tan is fading, and my hair is kiam chai. I'm really turning into a fugly witch! When the evolution is complete, you can kill me with water, just like how Dorothy killed the west witch or whichever pole she hails from.

And frankly, I think I'm growing dumber with age too. I don't feel like explaining la. KNS.

wei jian, i love u! we all do

2005-08-13T17:08:00.000+08:00

I'm at Dora's house now, and my mind keeps wandering to Wei Jian when I'm supposed to be finishing my maths. He's been on my mind 24/7 these past 3 days. His elimination has greatly affected many people- some are devastated to the extent that they messed up their prelims because their minds were preoccupied with him. His allure is "unshunable"! I want to go see him the day he reports for NS... Is it possible? I don't know the time leh.

Superstar fever has reached a fervent pitch, and JYFC and Wei Lian's fans [don't even know whether they have a FC] will surely be glueing their faces to the tv screen. Like it even matters! I used to like Jun Yang, but I nowadays, I find myself unwittingly wanting to mentally slap him everytime i spy him on tv. Wei Lian ar... Nothing to say lor, but I think he's undeserving. MediaCorp so kns one... The judges too.

I like both Sin Huey and Kelly, but I'm leaning more towards SH's side, because she's improving by leaps and bounds, and I just like her la.

Yeah, I'm being silly about this thing... It's just a rigged, pre-planned show what. What's the big deal? I also don't know. I would like to think of myself as strong and silent [yet cheerful]; the type who doesn't even flinch when she sees the female lead die for her beau on tv, but my mood is greatly affected whenever I see him singing, which would be everyday because I have downloaded mp3s of his performances and stuff.

Well, I wish Derrick [who's also called Wei Jian la, aiyo] all the best in his future endeavours, and that he will not be picked on -and hopefully be served instead- during his NS days. I hope that after he's attained his full-fledged man title, he will still retain some of his cuteness and blurness, and not become too yellow-minded, like most post-NS guys are. I also hope that he will cut an album soon after he's back from NS, and that he'll join whatever competitions there are. Or better still, sign on with MediaCorp! Then I can catch every show he stars in. I won't promise eternal support la, but I will say that I will stay his fan for quite a long time =)

Ok la, serious business now. I got C6 for my chinese. Now, why am I not surprised? Chinese G10 student, that's me... C6 good enough already, right? [I'm not pleased with my results, so sorry if the way I type leads you to think otherwise] But nooo, they -by they I mean my teachers- want us, the B3-and-below-scorers- to take again, and weirdly enough, I share their sentiments. So I shall. Hopefully the comprehensions will be easier, because I'm not planning on studying too hard for chinese.

Wah! This post reveals such an accurate and glowing review of my personailty hor? Not! I admit, I'm not very conscientious, but I'm hardly the type who's a fan of 4 boybands and 100 singers. I'm off to do my tuition homework now, there's tuition later. Bye, and remember, Wei Jian rocks! :]

ps: note the words in bold^.

derrick stay3!!

2005-08-11T19:11:00.000+08:00

The anticipation is killing me! How do they expect us to wait until 11 30 tonight? People might be so distracted, they might cut their finger while chopping onions! My skin is electricfied, I get goosebumps every 2 minutes or so, and I can't stop fidgeting! Which is why I'm blogging so early, when the results are not even close to being announced. Crystalball has made his/her prediction... Please let her be wrong!

This^ is not the chief reason why I was so spacey today, though.

I had another relaspe of Jer-itis, an illness which resurfaces every 3-5 months, and something has been said, and I'm left hanging. Help! I can't deal with all this suspense! Later~

gahh

2005-08-09T16:17:00.000+08:00

NICE MOVE, YOU.

*dripping with sarcasm*

[Edited]

Instead of being on my way to Marina South now to meet Pei Shan [stranger] for my priority tickets, I'm stuck at home with only the television to accompany me. Oh, dad just came back, so him too.

I want to see Derrick! What if he -CHOI!- gets ousted this time? He has the lowest score lor, amongst the males. How? Jenn says she'll go with me to get tickets to the next recording on Thursday, but I'm not betting on it. What? She's as reliable as I am punctual. Which is not very, to say the least.

sry wilber

2005-08-07T23:21:00.000+08:00

I so paiseh today! Ok la, this isn't nearly as humiliating as the time when I took a photo of a cat at the staircase and apologised to that semi-cute malay boy for the noise I made [I know, ditzy me] only to realise that doing so would lead him to think that I was snapping a shot of him [!], but it's pretty bad because my face might wind up on Wilber Pan's very own mental criminal record! It was like this...

As you know -or at least you will after reading the next 2 sentences-, boyband Energy isn't going to perform anymore. Not for the next 4 years anyway. So, my dear friend Jenn, who's Energy-siao, decided to give them one last present and a 3 page long letter through Wilber Pan, who came to Singapore today.

I was entrusted with the all-important job of passing him the gift, which wasn't for him. He strode towards me... I stretched my hand as far as I could. Almost reaching... I waved a little and caught his eye. He accepted it!

As always, Jenn and I grasped each other's hands and sprinted over to the van to catch a glimsp of Mr Pan Shuai, just for fun. Guess what? We didn't have to, because no one would have obstructed our view if we had followed him all the way. Sure, he had his fan club which consisted about, what, 30 people max?, but that was about it.

I managed to capture 2 shots of him, one of which he was smiling at me :] He's cute! Anyways, Jenn told me afterward that he looked at my face when I passed him the paper bag. Uh-oh! That was the only present he "recieved", and it wasn't even for him! What if he remembers me? The girl who gave him a present addressed to Energy! Ack!

I am so sorry! For not giving him any present or anything, I mean. He's never going to come to blasted Singapore again! Tiny fan base, no presents, barely audible cheering [I'm not sure if his FC screamed] and -dammit!- people asking for favours from him without even having bothered including a loving letter for him... We, I, must've demoralised him! There was a pretty big group forming at the departure hall, and I had initially thought that they had come to see Wilber, but no! They were K-one fans!

Argh. I'm so glad I don't have a tagboard, because if any Wilber fans comes across this site, they'll bombard me with profanities.

smallville prom

2005-08-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

Kristin Kreuk and Tom Welling make such a beautiful pair! I'm no Smallville fanatic, but them back together, it just seems so right.

You don't coax people to chat with you on the phone, giving all sorts of reasons why they should and rejecting their rejection. Hell, you just don't coax people into chatting with you! How could I have ever taken him for Jer?! They're polar opposites, that's for sure.

We had mock exams again today. In the same stuffy hall, with the same people throwing paper balls and doing all kinds of dumb things, like hiding others' shoes, for example. Why would anyone, let alone a whole group, want to touch a pair of dinky, stinky shoes? I would also have been peeved if I had been... in his shoes?

Showing respect towards others is very important, it doesn't matter who. I saw what she did, and would have given her my dirtiest look if I were him. Rude much! It doesn't seem as if they're singling him out for treatment, but from what I observe, he gets teased a little more than the others. Maybe he's different from the rest afterall, which isn't neccessarily a bad thing.

wei jian finals

2005-08-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

Yay! Either what Jenn heard was a rumour, or Kelvin's votes totally overwhelmed Jason's. Either way, it's all good! At least Wei Jian will get what he deserves- to be in the final 2! YEAH!

Farizah is the lamest person alive. Climax... Communist?! LOL. And she tried to pluck finger hairs -or whatever you call them- out using only her long fingernails. Pain ok!

Women are so susceptible to stuff that claim to blast away fat/cellulite, they actually get taken in by the hugely contradictory Dove advertisements. Damn. I am one of those women. Don't huai2 yi2, I am a woman!

SY ass-ed around with me again today, hiding my hp. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and since no one would talk, I would consider myself pretty desperate, so guess what I did? Gawd, it all seems so obsene now.

I had unhooked FM's radiation sensor thingie, which was a figurine of a guy whose, uh, tool would light up when it detected radiation, from her hp and held it near SY and Farizah whilst calling my hp using FM's. The idea was to track down my hp la, haha! An idea only an airhead could've thought of...

Should I go to Sentosa on Monday? Since I would be released at about 10 or something? Or should I stay home and watch Neil Buchanan on Art Attack? For your information, I actually like that show! His movements and voice have a hypnotic effect on me. I'd be putty in his hands, should I come face to face with him.

Bland blog, stupid comments... I should really get a life, shouldn't I?

wei jian dont go!

2005-08-03T22:04:00.000+08:00

Wei Jian is unbelievable! He charmed my pants off me- with all his hair slicked back, wearing some ugly checkered retro shirt! He oozes charisma! And he was beyond cute in the C'est Si Bon MV, of course, what with him acting coy when he gave Candyce the flower, LOL.

I really do think he's talented, and am not solely rooting for him because he's so cute. Too bad he's going to be booted out next week. Damn PS is a sham! All the strategic eliminations, votes manipulated to earn more money. Shit on them! Uh, I meant shame.

Mr Hafiz was out of line the other day, hitting her where it hurt. To be fair, her eyeball rolling was pretty rude, but her insolence doesn't call for what he said. We're all entitled to opinions, no? He didn't have to strike a nerve like that, did he? To hurt her in spite is really quite distasteful.

It was sweet, what she did, and I appreciate it, but I still can cope la. Thanks anyway. [If you think I'm talking to you, I'm not =)]

complain

2005-08-01T17:01:00.000+08:00

It's fnn lesson now, and we're in lab 2 or something. I've taken care not to sit under any air-con. You know what happened the last time.

A dead liz___ dropped from the air-con and onto Shafiyani's table! I almost screamed bloody murder, but contained myself. I was close to tears, for God's sake, for it was sooo close to me.

I'm so jealous! Now everyone has better hair than me- even Lyd! I don't see why I have to suffer this out-of-place rocker mane =( I'm whining. Sorry.

[Edited. At home]

I totally screwed up my oral. Even the word customer flew out of the window, and I mis-pronounced reflexology. There were a couple of instances when I went "uh... aaah...", and the worst part had to be when I looked to my right and kept repeating the word very like a broken recorder because I couldn't find the right word. Great job, Gek!

Phonies lurk behind their facade all the time, elbowing their pals discreetly, so much so that sometimes, even their friends don't notice. How smart [read: scheming]. It's not the person I dislike; just their actions.

I'm just saying.

wei choong noooo

2005-07-29T00:13:00.000+08:00

Nooo! I can't believe it! Wei Cong is out! He's so cute, and that song was difficult lor! How can you sound playful when you're practically peeing in your pants? So he should not have been ousted! My heart goes out to him... Sigh...

Jason is so undeserving! I shan't add insult to injury, considering so many people are already blasting him on his forum. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

I feel so bad for Wei Jian... He looked so despondent.

My hair looks like a pineapple. I hate it! I said trim only right... Kns.

Blaa... I remember saying that I wouldn't ever don something like that, because it looks like crap. I look like a lian-wannabe. :[

Derrick rawks!

2005-07-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

Ooh-lala- Ooh-lala Ooh-la-ooh-la-ley...

My gosh [can't say "God"], today's Project Superstar episode has to be the best one yet! Lousy start, no thanks to Jason, but Wei Cong, Jun Yang, WEI JIAN and Wei Lian spiced up the rest of the show, kicking his sorry ass.

Wei Cong is so cuuuutttee! He's one of those sunshine boys right, cute cute, friendly friendly one... Today he tried to give the bad-boy vibe and failed miserably, making him seem all the more appealing. I think he was trying to suppress his smile and that he had a hard time singing the "Wu-ha! Yoyo, she4 me4 aiiii1.." part. Ay... You can't blame him for that- It's tough. I had never given him a second glance before, but he sure caught my attention today!

I was so looking forward to see Wei Jian dance- and he did great! So relaxed and poised! Whoa! He blew me away, man! He was so cute during his intro, as he was sticking out his tongue in jest after the song. He is so damn cute! I want to go IMM to see him! I'd make posters, and maybe even wear a fully red-sequined ball gown there so he'd remember me, LOL! But, aiya, forget it. No time already. =S

Wei Lian sang that song, and my mind wandered off again, to the pastures. Blaa... You won't know what gibberish I'm sprouting, so just skip this part, haha! Would my ear itch? Would I sneeze? I desperately wished I would. But 4 years is a long time.

I am going to buy that i-weekly! Never mind that I'm almost chinese-illiterate. Wei Jian's in there! With Wei Cong, Jun Yang, Silver and Kelly! I think Silver's pretty, don't you? Too bad I didn't go to Zpop last Sunday. I went last year with Jenn, and I freaking lost her! Like how you lose a wallet! But I shan't go into details la. I most probably have blogged about it before anyways.

Last night...

Sat down in my self-made throne, armed with a bottle of green tea and a packet of gummy bears, to study the hard facts of the penis [pun fully intended, haha!] You could tell I wasn't in the least turned on, because I dozed off within 10 minutes. Ok la, better than my usual 5, but still...

However, I did wake up at 5 in the morning to cram some of those theories and weird names into my head. Pathetic attempt, that was. I wasn't fully awake, and you know what that means. Everyone was in a frenzy at school, frantically sucking in those facts and diagrams. Tsk tsk... Those lazy bums!

I think I'm gonna fail. An altered gene: mutation. Easy peasy, right? But I stupidly wrote "Down's Syndrome", which obviously wasn't the answer. Worse, I said the seed had a stem. Hafiz is going to kill me! Hey... He's the one who said no blanks! That should justify the out-of-the-world answers!

im still sane

2005-07-25T17:11:00.000+08:00

I'm a girl.

Skirts in wardrobe, check. Painted [black] toenails, check. IC, check. Yes, I'm a female.

I go to Tampines Secondary.

Uniform, check. PE tee, check. School building, check. Yup, I'm a Tampinesian.

I know how to spell M-A-T-H-E-M-A-T-I-C-S.

Check.

Ok! I'm still sane! In fact, I've recovered! Quick, eh? But this way, I don't get to change my name leh. =[ Don't ask me how I managed to sound so perky last night, I was dead beat. Half an apple and a panadol later, after I had switched off the computer, I let mum work her magic on me and felt worse.

Went for Mr S' course today. What a "CWOT"! That's actually something we learnt. It means "complete waste of time", haha!

He was repeating the exact same stuff he had taught us last week. Oh well, I believe the course will be more productive next week. I hope the worksheets Mr S issue won't be too tough, lest I fail. In front of the creme de la creme, no less. No thanks, I'll pass.

Sat after school waiting for Reggie but left before she came since she was taking so long. I didn't even know whether she forgot or what, what! Furthermore I was feeling my worst. With skin akin to liz__ trap paper [I know that's a disgusting metaphor, but it's the first one I thought of] and hair like Medusa's, of course I would want to go home immediately.

Then I saw a really cute sight. This fit guy, all bronzed and toned was working up a sweat, jogging and scampering behind him was this tiny, white+grey fluffy puppy.

So cute right? And yet so morally wrong. It made me think of a lovesick girl wooing a guy whom she obviously could not get.

Nonono, I'm not saying it's wrong for us girls to make the first move, but to pursue unfalteringly like this? That's the guy's work, babes, not ours! Haha! But seriously, girls have got to have some self-constraint ma...

I want to buy a Mp3! I don't have the slightest inkling how to use one, but I guess I could learn... Maybe if I gave dad one of my saccharine sweet smiles [I would like to think so, haha!], he would pay for it?

sick

2005-07-24T22:27:00.000+08:00

I'm sick... 39°C ok! God, I'm weak all over. Before I went out, my temperature was 38.3°C.

I think it has something to do with my stomachache/food poisoning [?] from earlier on, whereby I endured spasms of pain for, like, 12 hours. Deprived me of my beauty sleep leh!

I was contemplating whether to go out or not, and decided not to pang seh Dora. Stupid decision, considering I was a total bore the whole time, moaning and speaking in this nasal monotone.

But how could I forgo my last trip out shopping for the next 3 MONTHS? Ok la, maybe I'll acede to Lyd's request la, if she begs me like last Thursday, haha!, but I think I'll stay home to study/rest [better than going out right...].

Reached home, feeling like shit. So sluggish, and my head was pounding. Somehow, it reminds me of Judge Trudy slamming that hammer thingie.

Pinched off my contact lenses... They thinned a lot! Did they melt in my eyes? Gross!

Hey, people, if I go nutsy-coco-cuckoo, please call me Kayle ["k-lee"]. Or Chloe ["klow-ee"], or Charlie ["shar-lee"]. At least I would have a nice name.

I'm only half kidding ok... Yik Mei, my uncle Shao Qi, Ah Qiong from Kindred Spirit and Mo Jing Jing from Holland V all had the misfortune of turning into imbeciles because of fever. The first 2 are real people leh!

Mum's nagging for me to rest now. God bless me.

wei jian won!

2005-07-21T23:51:00.000+08:00

I've tried, and failed, to add Nur umpteen times in Livejournal [I created an account there and might be switching]. So irritating! Never mind, I'm sure I'll figure it out sooner or later. Of course, I can just get her to add me, hee.

23 minutes. 23 more minutes, plus a few more taken up by annoying the commercial breaks Project Superstar seems to be so fond of, and the results will be revealed.

Racial Harmony Day...

Woke up late for school today. In my hurry, I left my wallet and cell phone [cell phone just sounds so much better than handphone, ya?] at home. Of all days to do so!

Was supposed to meet Serene and company at 7am, but I reached at around 7.20am and went straight to 4E5, thinking that they would have been ready by then. Wrong! What was I thinking? Lyd? Early? Ha!

Ok, I'm forever tardy myself, but she's, like, the queen of late-coming, hehe.

I felt like I was constantly fighting with the skirt. It really limited the movement of my legs! I almost fell quite a few times. How is a girl supposed to get off the bus like that sial [racial harmony what]? Still, I'm gratified that the seams didn't betray me, and that I wasn't rough or careless enough to rip the skirt.

Sometimes, it feels as if she's trying to put me down to comfort herself. I hope it's working for her, because I'm not affected in the least by what she says. I mean, she picks on everything!

I want to complain! The people of Project Superstar, you think it's funny getting us all psyched up and then telling us it's a commercial break?! They started doing the rolling Jackpot thingie already then say commercial break. WHAT IS THIS?! Grr..

OMG! Wei Jian is IN! I knew it all along lalalalalallala! Ay, but wait, I haven't finished complaining. They give breaks every 5 minutes or so, 1 minute per break. What is their problem? But I shan't sue them this time, since Wei Jian's A-ok, haha!

baju theif

2005-07-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

Tampines Idol- Who'll win? I feel so sorry for SL... I think she had a nervous breakdown or something, cos, to put it crudely, she sounded constipated and strangled. Not that I would have done any better myself, but... If you want to know the truth...

I've voted for Derrick! Please let him join the remaining contestants! I know I'm probably wasting all that money smsing, and that the decision "based on the audience's votes" was actually made weeks ago, but I can't help it! Besides, it's all part of adolescence, right? I've got to be stupid and irrational about this stuff at least once. It's the rule.

Derrick is sooo cute! He was so serious today, and he almost cried [too touched] upon hearing some judge's comment. Aww... I think he has the most number of fans, cos his name was the most prominent amongst the choruses of names- Yay! Many an adoring fan had made some kind of poster for him- handmade ok! Others' just bought posters. Poor Sebastian brought up the rear with 26 points. I quite like him too leh.

Oh ya, Derrick Hoh Wei Jian is not M3 this time! He's M1! Don't vote wrongly leh! M3's Sebas hor!

It's racial harmony day tomorrow, and -whoopee!- we won't have to stay for in-focus, which I believe to be a complete waste of time. I actually think I'd get more done alone, at home. Ok, maybe not alone. With Dora. There's something about her that makes me want to study.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up and wear the very form fitting skirt Shai has lent me. The very form fitting, prone-to-bursting skirt. I don't know how Shainas is able to shimmy into it. My derriere is apparently the size of an elephant's! Must be the ice cream!

I initially had my sights on an olive baju [since I don't know what it's called], but Foong Ming asked to have it. By that time, the whole pile of clothes had been ploughed through and I was stuck with a suit I didn't really want.

The blue one was a better option, but it was actually a tube with some transparent coat over it and I was afraid of what my ever-so-discreet teacher would have to say.

Jenn saw Jer again today. At least he was carrying something this time (:

[I've just read Xiaxue's most recent post [19/7], and I so agree with her]

wth

2005-07-19T21:08:00.000+08:00

I saw Jer today. Well, technically. I saw him through Jenn's eyes, but I like this way of phrasing it better.

He didn't bring any books to school, that indolent pig! He's falling from grace. Academic grace, that is. Why? He's of high calibre ok... And worse, he's in a gang, or so they told me. I guess it's ok if he just sticks to drinking and smoking, but what if he does drugs? Or goes around hacking people and sparking staring incidents?

I was appalled upon seeing those pictures she posted, but I shouldn't have been. It's expected what, right?

Do you want to be the next SPG?! Only, you settle for less! What you do, it makes me sick to my stomach. I really want to knock some sense into you but I know you would just shy away from me if I did. And so, day after day, I pretend that I don't hear a thing about what you so unabashedly discuss with the others.

My friends have all gone nuts.

Unhappy stuff aside...

Nur is very sweet! How many people come up to you, when you haven't prompted her in the slightest, and ask you whether you want to borrow something of hers? So nice her right? But I think I'll see what Shainas has first, since we'd already agreed on it before Nur approached me.

I hope I don't look like bloody mary [again] this year. My outfit last year was a fire engine red kebaya/baju kurong [I don't know which is what]. Anyone who knows me knows I don't wear red, ever.

I've finally finished reading Cleo and Seventeen. Under normal circumstances, it would've been a leisurely act, but August's issue was such a bore, it was actually a chore. This month's was all about paisley prints and nautical styles- ridiculous flash in the pan fashions that'll go out the window before you can say "Ahoy!". There was barely any substance as well. Disappointing leh, Cleo... But never mind, I still love you (;

passion

2005-07-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

Amidst a discussion, it dawned on me that people are at their best, and most confident, when they are passionate about something. Like that whole Ha-lish fiasco. Lyd said she did not stutter nor fumble for the right words like she usually does when she was talking to him. I believe her, since I vaguely remember having experienced something like that before. No wonder some people think musicians and artists are sexy, even when they are more than a tad eccentric.

Great. Now all I have to do is to find something to be passionate about, find someone to oppose me on that matter, and fight it out with him or her, with me emerging the winner of our very passionate debate. Then I'd be able to command all the respect I want. Easy peasy. Seriously, I'll be less critical of myself now. I'm sick of how she so blatantly pushes everything to us. So, no more self-depreciating comments from me! (:

Our english in-focus today was painfully, mind-numbingly boring. [Yes, I do realise that I contradicted myself] Mag loves him to bits, though. She practically worships him.

Fell asleep with my arm propping up my head, and Mr S called on me. Debrina said the class' attention had been averted to me promptly when my head had slidded south-west. Damn. So paiseh! I did what Mr S instructed, nonchalantly strutting off to the toilet, remembering what Farizah said in response to my comment on us being ridiculously late for class.

We couldn't find the language room. You'd think after 4 years in TPSS we'd know...

I've been cheated! You know the Haagen Dazs ice cream right? Got that 2 pack offer thingie right? It's a hoax! I mean, yeah, it's 2 for $18, but one is custard pudding, and the other is some random flavour, which was, in my case, chocolate. So I've blown $9, which is presently a relatively substantial amount of my savings, on chocolate ice cream. So not worth it.

Anyway, after these 2 tubs, I'll be going cold turkey. Yesiree, no more ice cream! Not for the next month anyway. I've been shovelling way too much of that fattening crap into my mouth these past 2 months. Must. Start. Exercising.

I'm going to take a cue from Mr S and Ken, and paragraph my stuff. It's tough. I do so like writing in chunks.

minority report

2005-07-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

Polished off a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's in front of the tv, watching Minority Report. [Ooh... I love how American that sounded, haha!] My 2 cents worth... The characters talk without fullstops, commas, nothing! I couldn't make out what they were talking half of the time. And how is it that I've never noticed how hot Tom Cruise is? He is wayyy finer than Brad Pitt. Actually, I don't see why everyone sees Brad as the epitome of hotness. He's not all that.

Speaking of hotties, guess who's got starting her first relationship? Bumped into her, together with her cousin and Shainas, and she spilled. I'm envious!

Back to MR. My favourite part was when the high-tech spiders went checking everyone's eye-dentities [ok, that was weak]. I love the pitter-patter clippity-clop noises they made. It's so soothing. Just like Neil Buchanan's and Kathleen DeLeon's voices. And how their spindly legs, a portray of vulnerability, actually witheld so much power, as opposed to the normal live spider.

The part I least enjoyed had to be when Tom spoke to that Ann person. Or whoever she was. Could she not speak properly?! Blame me for being too China [Chee-nah], or maybe my hearing's almost impaired, but I could not decipher what the heck she was saying, for the most part.

I have this thing about sounds. They can really alter my mood a lot. When I was younger, I had this habit of sniffing at whatever food I was about to put into my mouth a couple of times before actually eating it. That's not all. I used to go to the library with my mum when I was, like, 5? We'd scour the whole place for all the Cat in the Hat books we could find, and she'd read them to me. I especially liked the one about Green Eggs and Ham, whereby the Cat kept chasing this furry creature everywhere, over the mountains and under the seas, just to get it/him to eat his green eggs and ham, haha! I would also look for big, new books with smooth-textured pages and -LOLS- sniff at them! It's a very comforting smell ok! This is an example of a kid doing the darnest thing. I can't describe it to you cos I've forgotten how it's like, but I'd surely know if I were to catch a whiff of it again. That said, don't try to shove books up my nose or tell everyone I have a book fetish -which I do not!- , alright? Albeit having weird tastes for smells [haha!], I do not like the rancid stench of armpits and socks!

Uh, how did a review of MR get so personal? Now you know my weirdest quirks.

Studying is a greater evil than communism. I spent a whopping total of 4 hours yesterday, including my 2 hour tuiton, burying my face in textbooks. The effects were almost immediate. No, I did not suddenly become a genius, but I did transform into the new age not-so-beautiful Sleeping Beauty. At around 7, 1 hour after Zhenyi had gone, I fell into a deep slumber from which I awoke 6 hours later, at 1+. Watched some very interesting documentaries about monkeys and jumbo squid. Now, who was the smart-ass who said that animals didn't kill amongst themselves? Squid, cuttlefish and octopuses do. And the jumbo squid, akaThe Red Devil, is about half the size of a human. They are AMAZING. Even after they have been multilated to the extent that they are only left with their 2 arms and 8 tentacles, they're still alive! Gawd... And their suckers? They have teeth! After watching all that stuff, I decided to retire to bed at 4, but ended up tossing about for an hour or 2 instead. Ah, the benefits of studying.

childish games

2005-07-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

"Ping pong, ping pong, ping pong chet!"

Have you ever played that ^ one before? How about this?

"Mi mi mi re mi fa soh... mi! Fa fa fa soh fa mi re... do!"

Huh? Huh? *excitedly* Or...

"Old pillar [or is it Oh, pillar?] catch the pillar [caterpillar?], lazy boy, sexy girl, ping pong, go to school, play a fool, chelly chelly lom jiam pas!"

Hehehe! Today my friends and I rediscovered all these [= In case you don't know, these are more complex versions of "Scissors, Paper, Stone". And I must say, it was fun! For the most part, I think it was cos it was so ridiculous, haha! That actually brightened up my day, if you believe it! Which leaves you wondering, what will we do next? Play "What's the time, Mr Wolf?"? Yalalala~ Anyways, I had something to say one leh, but I guess I'll blog about it when I remember o.O

I'm sooo busy! I've got what's left of my week all mapped out already. There's listening compre exam [Os!] tomorrow, and after that, I'll be going out with Lyd and Sy. Sy and I both want to go shopping, but Lyd wants to watch movie, so... We'll see. I want shopping! Although I no money la. Cos I know I won't have many more chances to shop these 3 months. I will force myself to study! Then, on Saturday, I'll be going swimming with Magdeline, and reach home by 4, in time for tuition. I will study! Then, again, maybe I should reach home by 3 30, since Zhenyi [my very cheerful, very patient tuition teacher (:] is super punctual [a huge contrast as opposed to the forever-tardy me]. She actually came 30 minutes early last week, and the week prior to that, I reached home only to see her already sitting at the table, flipping through my stuff. Malu! And I'll be meeting Dora to study on Sunday. I must study! Cannot be seduced by intriguing magazines anymore! I really need to, uh, pull up my socks already. I shall be flippant about my grades no more, I promise! [Umm... Is promise too strong a word?] I've realised that I'm so ill-equipped with maths formulas that I can't even do a quarter of the stuff Mdm Foo [maths teacher] dishes us. And the quarter I can do, I'm normally not sure about. I always want to study at night, but am forever dozing off 5 minutes into it. I'm not exaggerating, it's that bad. So, having to constantly study -or try to, anyway- I have no time for Jenn... I think she's depressed or something, and I would like to spend some time with her.

Just spoke to Jenn on the phone just now and she said I sounded kind of sex-crazed in the post about the Energy concert. And yeah, I guess I did. But I'm not la, don't worry! I only like to smell people's armpits and shoes! // Ooh! Guess what? Shi Hui, my primary school classmate, just came and talked to me on MSN! As expected, she's asking about whether I want to go to some Christian event, but still. [= *I do believe in Jesus, but sad to say, I am a very flighty sheep.

vote vote vote!

2005-07-13T21:17:00.000+08:00

I was reading the forums of Derrick and Leon [<- for fun only] and I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to tell him how much I love him [idol love, stupid] and that he must jiayou, yada yada yada but the pop-up told me I couldn't post another message for another 2 hours. Grrmph. There might not be anyone reading this, but... Derrick fans, have you realised your folly yet?! I thought you vote, you thought I vote, in the end NO ONE VOTE! Or maybe lots of you voted and MediaWorks is just trying to earn more money, but lets not give up! Vote for M3, Derrick Hoh Wei Jian!!!!!!!! He is my first idol ok! That's gotta mean something- that he really is something! And he is NOT acbc!

photo taking

2005-07-13T16:57:00.000+08:00

Joke of the day:

2 days ago, Sing Yee, Lyd and I saw a baby bat on the ceiling.

"Frog!"

How brilliant of me. Obviously I didn't really think it was a frog cos even the dullest nitwit could've told you that those slimy, insect-eating monsters don't hang on ceilings. I was trying to say that it looked like a frog la. I told Sy and Lyd that but they obstinately refused to believe me. Heh. Fear [I abhor frogs, those blasted asthmatic creatures] does weird things to you. It twists your imagination and words.

Today was picture day, and everyone [girls anyway] was busy making sure that they looked impeccable. Blushers, mascara, lip gloss... These go hand in hand with lights, camera, action, or in this case, smile. Women! We are so vain. I don't know whether to be chagrined or flattered, cos apparently my eyes looked more glamourous today, and only today. What I do know, though, is that the pictures are going to be a complete flop- for me anyway. But I'm going to buy all 3 pictures cos these will be the only things I will have to remember 3/4e5 by. Sad huh? In 10 months time, I'll be stranded in a new school with no friends again. I loathe change. It snatches everything familiar away from me.

I remember my primary 5 class photo. In a moment of insanity, I cut the priceless photo into what resembles artificial snowflakes! I didn't do it haphazardly though- no, it wasn't done in a fit of anger. I wanted each face to be on its own, not accompanied by others, hence my much regretted move. And you know what's the worst thing? I threw away Jonathan Lim's picture! Argh! He and I were not on good terms then, and being the immature little girl I was, I conveniently isolated his face from the others "forgot" to keep it! Now I don't have his picture! What about primary 6?, you might ask. Well, it so happens that he was absent that day! J.Lim and I have cleared up our misunderstanding long time ago, in case you were wondering. And yes, it was my fault. Sorry ar! I want desperately to go back to the past, but since I cannot, I want to fastforward to the future, to when I am 30 years old. These are both equally impossible feats, at least in this time and age, but somehow, travelling into the future seems more of a possibility to me. I've had this fanatasy about something which will happen to me at the age of 30, and I really really really want to know whether it will come true or not. Other than being an editor, any editor, of a magazine, this is my only dream [it's a fantasy conjured up because of my dream]. I do so hope that it will materialise!

Hafiz and his ludicrous demands! Can someone please tell me why we have to bring his bio tys on non-bio days? If your answer is that it is for us to study, why can't we read our other books then? Books we actually need on the day itself? And we have to finish the whole freaking book in a month, complete with notes and diagrams. He's a weirdo, he is. He morphs from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde every few seconds... The only thing that's constant is his humongous ego. I think I'm turning into another Hafiz [minus the cockiness]. I greeted my friends with a cold shoulder for something very trivial today. And I am not remorseful! I shall throw my tantrums whenever I like! Who asked them... I have the unalienable right [till 250905 anyway] to be unreasonable and obnoxious, and I shall use it! Blaaa... I'm making it sound so fun, aren't I? No la, last 5 lines just typed for fun, haha!

o-m-g.

2005-07-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

I'm beside myself in shock now, after reading something. I didn't think anyone would discover my blog, and I definately hadn't counted on anyone reading me praise someone to the skies or condemn someone to the deep depths of hell. The former's much more embarrassing than the latter, that I assure you. It doesn't help that I added self-insult. Gawd, I want to be an ostrich. You know what? I'll pretend that this never happened.

oral

2005-07-11T17:57:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning deciding that I would smell like apple pie [my shower gel is apple-scented] for school today, but turns out, I reeked of durian instead. Not that I think durian is yucky or what la, but some people might... For example, my O level oral examiners! Anyways, I thought that pungent smell would fade away with time- and some toothpaste. But it didn't! Not till recess anyway, after 1 packet of bandung and 1 packet of Happy Panda. Or was it Hello? Whatever.

I had thought initially that the oral would be a breeze, but that was before I saw how the chairs had been arranged -it somehow made the whole thing seem much scarier- and how squirmy the others were. I switched to panic mode and my finger tips soon freezed over. I hoped my stomach wasn't going to betray me then, cos it felt as if someone had poured acid all over it, causing that "sour" feeling. Oh, what shit am I spewing?! Our stomach is acidic, and acid tastes bitter, if I'm not mistaken. Ken, what with all his nonsense, helped sooth my frayed nerves though, and that I am grateful for. When I read the passage for the first time, I was like ?! Uh-oh! Jialat! I was a bag of nerves upon reaching that sacred table. "Lao`3 shi`1 hao`3," I said wobbly. Stupid me. First sentence wrong already. It should've been "lao shi men`2 hao" what! Then I proceeded to read the passage. I was perfect. Perfectly incoherent. I didn't even know what I was reading [only the gist of it], much less them. They weren't kind enough to spare me the embarrassment of having to read the whole chunk, and I was utterly mortified by the time I was through reading that holey passage. Yes, that's holey with an E. I skipped [2 dozens] too many a word. So then, the uncle asked me what I thought of this: Tourists think that Sg is a safe place. I was like, is Sg safe? I couldn't think of any reason why they would deem Sg as a safe country. Actually, I couldn't think of anything, period. But of course I had to appear intelligent, so I just blabbled anything that came to my mind, making up stuff as I went. Then the lady asked me whether I thought Sgeans led a sheltered life. The only thing I could remember was to take a stand, so I did. And then I realised that I had nothing to substantiate my answer with. Damn. Again, I fumbled for the right words and tried to express my thoughts as crisply as I could. Which wasn't very. I think I caught the uncle nodding off... How humiliating! I suspect that he once covered up his yawn by coughing. Oomph! It was such a freaky experience! Brr... Listening to what Ken and Rusel said they'd talked about, I felt even worse. I've got to be the biggest dimwit alive. Those points they mentioned were so blaringly obvious lorr! Everyone must have touched on them except me ]=

Yet another incident that confirms my belief: Went to Farizah's house [stayed there for awhile while Bryan helped her to do don't-know-what] after school for about 1/2 hour, then went downstairs to print the FNN thingie only to find out that that place is closed on Mondays. Lounging around [sitting on the floor, actually. I just said that to make things sound more glamourous, not so pathetic x=] at her house was pretty boring, but that would've been ok, if her cousin didn't come over. I tried to make light talk but it was so weird! She didn't understand me and vice versa, and there were lots of awkward silences. I like her, I really do [not a lot that kind la... you know], but I'm the worst conversationalist ever, so I guess I appeared all gungho/aloof. I think I annoyed her. Oops. See, I can't even converse with someone else without putting my foot into my mouth! To make myself feel better after all this [it's really taking a toll on my already-low self-esteem], I'm pigging out on corn chips. Cheesy corn chips. Fattening cheesy corn chips.

Energy!

2005-07-10T16:25:00.000+08:00

Saw something shocking at Energy's concert yesterday. What leh? Tell you later. First, I shall describe to you briefly how the concert went. The lights dimmed there were 8 dancers prancing around on stage, showing off their fanciful moves. Then -ta-dah!- the raisable platform thingie rose, and there stood 3 delectable Energy members- Milk, Shu Wei and Kung Da, all decked out in gold. "Where's Ah Di?!" I hear you cry. Relax... He came in later, sitting on the chair, his wrist bound by a scarf. Before you get any kinky thoughts, he was being 'captured', since he couldn't dance, as in their Tian`1 Yu`3 Di`4 MTV. All he could do was to sit there crooning while the rest furiously shook their booties. The first quarter of the show was explosive, with lots of dancing and stuff. Woot! Jenn and I didn't buy any light sticks but we buay tahan [can't stand it], must wave something, so were sprinted to and fro in record time when they had gone back stage, only to miss Milk stripping off his tee, ending his solo performance. Oi! Why never wait for us?! I run until my butt cramp ok! You know, I think when I see them live, I get more psyched than Jenn herself. But I'm very disloyal la... After concert only I don't like them that much already. Ok, before I digressed. Then came Ah Di sang "Hong`2 Dou`4" and don't-know-what by don't-know-who. I love his voice... Scratch that, I love him. During the concert anyway. Next was Shu Wei, who played the piano and sang something he had written himself. The last one was Kung Da la, who of cos sang "Tian`1 Kong`1 Mei`2 You`3 Xia`4 Yu`3" [that's his single]. When they went for their 2nd costume change, they played this little dance lesson on the LCD screen. They so cute! Milk was teaching us how to dance so that we could join them in their next dance, Ra-Men Song. We did... So fun! Haha! But Jenn was very sad lorr, cos she didn't want Energy to leave. The next time, other than today [Sun], we would get to see them would be in 3 years. //Good luck, Energy! Take care hor, Ah Di! Don't fall down again! And Shu Wei, don't worry about you 'zao sia-ing', we didn't mind! Bye!

Went to Jenn's house [together with Sam. I didn't mention her just now cos she didn't buy any lightsticks] eat roti prata. The coffee shop nearby sells great roti prata. Pity they didn't have chocolate prata by the time I reached, so I ordered egg and cheese. Scrumdilyumtious! Jenn sat in front of the tv, replaying Energy's latest VCD or whatever over and over. Even though she claimed that she didn't like the concert [bullshit. she told me it was great earlier on, then changed her story], Sam and I could tell that she was upset about them leaving.

Ok... Now, what was the can-be-described-as-horrifying thing I saw? Ho Lian Shi!!! OMG! I would've been less surprised if I saw Kaur there, even though she's Arab [I think]. I'm pretty sure I didn't mistake someone else for her, cos she walked past me twice and was sitting within eyeshot. She was dressed conservatively in a white tee and jeans, but *gasp* she was wearing wedges! They were only about 1 inch, but her? Wearing wedges? I thought this day would never come. I kept peeking at her throughout the show [I think she was with a guy... What is she doing looking at semi-hunks with a guy?]. She had her arms primly crossed over her chest most of the time, but at least she smiled when Energy cracked a joke. Could I have seen wrongly? Does she have a twin sister? Maybe, just maybe, I'll ask her if I'm late for school again. She already hates me as it is.

back from e dead

2005-07-08T18:35:00.000+08:00

I"M BACKKKK!!! I thought I was going to turn into a cave woman after not using the internet for one whole month x= Not like I'm a computer freak la, but still, living without the internet is tough. I was bored out of my mind, re-reading my magazines a gazillion times. The last few
after 10/6] posts were done using Word Pad and saved in the computer, if you were wondering. I think I'm addicted to blogging. Yeah, what a nerd, right? I'm gonna search for a new blogskin now... Never liked this one much anyway. The colours la, so girlie, so tacky. The other stuff is nice though.

[Edited]
I've been using the computer for 6+ hours already. Not used to it. Feeling giddy. Anyways, I found this skin. Nice, isn't it? I've got tuition tomorrow- BOO! But at least my teacher's nice to me, despite the fact that I seem puzzled at every theory she throws at me, cos I really haven't been listening to Mrs Vai [chemistry teacher] at all. But I'm going to start paying attention from now, as long as I can keep my self lucid instead of dreaming of Edison singing love ballads to me. Haha! Don't blame me la... I can't stand listening to people droning on and on about something I have no clue about what. So hopefully my chemistry will improve la, or else *cck* I jialat lorr. Immediately after tuition [uh oh- haven't done homework x__x], which starts at the ridiculous time of 4pm, I'll be going out to meet Jenn for dinner, then attend Energy's concert. She bought the tickets for me! So sweet right? [= But Dora and I also la... Made something for her [don't be so mercenary what. haha!] I'm not the sort to go star-chasing but I'll accompany her. I always get high upon seeing them anyway. I'll keep you posted.

[[Edited again]]
I don't believe it!!! I was chatting with Jenn Wednesday night so I forwent watching the results of jue`2 dui`4 superstar. I was confident that Derrick would win anyway, and that was all I cared about. I just yahoo-ed Derrick and so many girls were blogging about him and how cute he is! I read one of them and realised that HE HAD BEEN BOOTED OUT! Hoi... There was this other guy who was worse than him lorr! I really hope he gets back into the competition somehow, or I won't be able to get my weekly Derrick fix anymore ]= I google-d him and there were no results. So he's not that famous, but surely there are some?

Derrick

2005-07-06T19:35:00.000+08:00

Weeeeet!!! Derrick [M3] from jue`2 dui`4 superstar is super cute! He's not drop-dead gorgeous, actually, but bloody adorable cos he has this child-like demeanour, so playful and cheery. He's the only reason I watch that show now x= There was this M5 guy the other time who got booted out but shouldn't have been. I thought he sang pretty well leh. I think it was cos he wasn't suave enough. Not that I blame the fans- Derrick is just too cute! Jun Yang [M1] sang quite well too [the best, actually], although I thought he did better the other time, contrary to what the judges said. I've never been the type to chase stars [I chase Energy to accompany Jenn only]; not Sly, whom I don't really like now, not popular singer Jay Chou, not even mega-hot starlet Edison Chen. The most I would do would be to snap photos of them on tv and scream the house down. That rarely happens. But now I think I just might vote for Derrick... With dad's phone, of course. Hey, it's a big step for me already ok, considering the fact that the only tv thing I participate in is to call the NKF hotlines. Ok, I admit, I like him chiefly cos of his character, not cos of his voice, which is actually not half bad [for a Sg-ean anyway]. So sue me.

I almost lost it in school today. Something happened to remind me of the past again- the most foolish thing I've ever done, to be exact. I was clenching my jaw so hard, it hurt. It was all I could do not to scream out loud. A gentle reminder yesterday from Huda, and today, a brash in-your-face one. And I thought giving out so fullscap papers would bring me good karma- my foot! I must've been Stalin or something my previous life to have such bad luck. I'm not only talking about these 2 incidents la, of course. Not so melodramatic. I'm talking about in general. Then people come irritate me somemore... And I had to do a maths paper which I'm sure we all agree was damn hard. That decieving cherry book lah! Actually, the cherry wasn't a cherry; It was an apple. A small one at the side bind part of the book. Whatever.

I'm actually starting to enjoy PE. We're learning baseball... Yay! I get to be American for awhile! [What I wouldn't give to be one!] I haven't fully grasped the rules of the game yet and I can't pitch for my life, but it's fun. Very malu leh today, cos I tried my hand at pitching [wait a minute... hitting the ball is pitching, right? That's what I meant anyway] and for my first try, I missed the tiny ball completely. What I barely missed was Mr Justin Toh. Oops. So of course he teased me, behaving exaggeratedly and stuff, like I was a maniac wielding a chopper. Ack! Felt like such a klutz s= 2nd, 3rd and 4th shot- I hit the rubber pole thingie which had been used to hold the ball instead of hitting the ball itself. First 2x cannot never mind la, but 4x? That just goes to show what a fantastic athlete I am. My only consolation was that Lyd did exactly the same thing. Haha!

I know everyone dislikes rude people, but I especially hate this abhorrent trait! These disrespectful booboos... No manners ar?! [And you thought I was Miss Sweetie-pie] Never mind if you don't say your Ps and Qs, but at least apologise when you've done something wrong what! And I really don't appreciate rude comments/jokes. Yes, I would consider "Do you want me to slap you?" from a friend rude. Very rude! Ya la, my friends are like that. Sometimes I retort with an equally insolent line, and other times I reply them with a stony silence, but when it comes down to it, I like them all the same. The thing is, I don't get why they're like that, since we are FRIENDS. Uh, I'm just saying. Not refering to any particular incident. Anyways... Girls: Vote for M3! You know you want more of him d;

fattt!!

2005-06-30T19:26:00.000+08:00

I'm so guilt ridden right now. Guess what I ate within 1 hour? 1 laksa [the coconut milk was damn thick lorr, I might add] + 4 ice creams [no cones la, but still..!!] + 1 paparoti thingie [oozing with butter]. These foods are laden with goodness knows how many calories. I'm gonna be so fat! A fatty bom bom with an ass the size of texas. Grrmph. Jenn met me at my school bus stop and we went to my house to collect Hazel's bag. We were supposed to have a "private date" but bumped into Tiffany [Shia] so we included her too. Oh yeah, I ate a whole packet of dried papaya too. It was like eating sugar sticks [carbs are evil x_x] or something, no papaya taste at all. I hate real papaya and thought I would give that a try. At least dried mangoes [another hated fruit] are alright.

My maths sucks. I'm so dead. I swear, I would've gotten at that damned Abdul Rahim or whatever Secondary School's paper and shredded it like a mad dog would your clothes. So pissed lorr. Some questions I see already gong gong, and they made it very obvious that they did it on purpose. To make you strain your rusty brain, I mean. And that book with the decieving red, cheery apple [or whatever] printed on it. I can assure you that you will be grimacing and frowning so hard doing 1 paper [as in paper 1, paper 2] that you'll see those pleats on your forehead emerging 2O years before they're supposed to appear. By the time you have completed the freaking paper, your brain would be so fatigued that all you'd want to do was to sleep. I always feel dazed after finishing work. I don't think maths is boring when I'm doing it- far from that, actually. It is when I see my teacher prancing about in front me, frailing her arms wildly over a sea of numbers and [yikes! Hate algebra! And mensuration, and vectors...] alphabets that I feel drowsy. What is it about maths anyway? Why is it so darn important? If you ask me, I think the only thing we need to know is how to count money [very important! How else would we know how much that Mango top costs after the 5O% discount?], the amount of stuff required to inject into a patient [if you want to be a doctor, that is], how to calculate to help you spectaculate in shares and how to count the profits and whatnot of the company. I mean, what else is there? Ok, I know what you're thinking... This is the perfect example of a dumbass teenager unashamedly displaying her ignorance, right? But I don't care! I don't want to learn maths now! I just want to shove my maths worksheets and textboook into the recycling bin )= I'm a really bad student, ready to flunk my Os [CHOI!].

Xiaxue's really quite pitiful. People judge her all the time, even when they don't know her. I think it's cool that she's so brutally honest, cos that's a very rare trait amongst Singaporeans [Sgeans I know anyway]. I mean, if you ask her whether your new [horrible] haircut suits you well, you can count on it that she will tell you the truth, even when the auntie who did you injustice were standing right there. [I sound so shallow with all the remarks about hair and Mango sale x=] I caught her on tv once and heard her saying "I had very high marks for my PSLE leh," very matter-of-factly. I think that's pretty refreshing after hearing everyone say "Aiya! I got 99 marks for this test! So low *phoney dissatisfied self-loathing face*". Not so exaggerated, but you know la. What I mean to say is, all she wants is to air her views, but in comes so many negative comments about her comments. I hope all the ugly stuff they say doesn't get to her. She doesn't deserve all that. Don't tag me as one of her siao siao fans- I'm not, just a someone who enjoys reading her blog.

nice day

2005-06-20T19:25:00.000+08:00

Went out with Dora to rewrap her hand today [it ws scalded], then headed for the library to study. As usual, I read magazines instead of doing my homework or studying. That copy of Female was right in front of me, screaming to be read! How could I not pick it up? Then Jenn [through the cell] dropped the bomb on me- Jer has a stead! My first reaction was tao have no reaction. Like, I froze, and my heart must've been trying to make up for the lack of physical activity or something, cos it suddenly started working overtime. I felt a little out of breath as my brain tried to digest the infomation. Of course. I should've known. What girl wouldn't like him? And the fact that he would have a girlfriend was blindingly obvious, since he's ____ and _____, not forgetting that _____. Truth be told, this little piece of tit-bit didn't hurt me. Yes, I felt surprised, in the accompaniment of a tinge of sadness, but I did not brood over this the whole day. I'm well over it by now. I mean, I've had a boyfriend before too, in case you've forgotten? Of course that totally didn't work out and I'm well aware that what he [my ex- don't even want to mention his name. ouch!] and I had is nothing compared to Jer's and _?_'s, but still, it shows that I've moved on, doesn't it? If that weren't the case, I would've been bawling my eyes out now, wouldn't I? So yeah, stupid response, considering that this was one of the things I had prayed for him just the night before. Note: I didn't pray for him cos I still like him. It was for some other reason which I shall not divulge openly [= I like him, but not that way // Anyways, I hope he won't get hurt or anything in the relationship or thereafter. Good guys and girls shouldn't get hurt. That's why I'm not and hope that he won't be too.

outta sg- yay!

2005-06-11T19:19:00.000+08:00

Field trip- Malaysia, KL
Day 1
Set off for Malaysia on Monday- sooo early! I woke up at, like, 5am? Jenn, Lyd and mum pestered me into waking up. Grouchy me. I'm not a morning person. Snoozed on the bus in between the stops. (RAPIST!!!!! KNN!!! OMIGOSH!!! I just saw this icky liz fuck another liz for one minute! The female was unwilling one okay! She kept twisting and they went round and round thrice before he "owned" her. Why do I have the misfortune of witnessing such a gross act?! I feel like puking. Now the female keeps curling up to suck her virgina or something and its freaking tail looks like it's going to drop off! And and I can't seem to take my eyes of it. The stinking male has run off after it had its fun. SEX-CRAZED ASSHOLE! Now it'll lay eggs and the house will have even more lizs! STUPID LIZ! I can't even bare to type out the full word.) We went to this forest and saw ants about 3cm in length! That's big! And when we looked up at the canopy layer of the forest, these trees called Crown Shyness formed the weirdest pattern. Looking at a picture of it, you'd think that it were virus under the microscope of something. It's pretty amazing. Back at the hotel... I didn't dare to bathe alone there [sorry, God] so I didn't get to enjoy a bubble bath. Showered instead, screaming all the way cos the person who was supposed to accompany me kept running away from behind the shower screen/curtain. Grrmph! It was past our curfew, but we sneaked over to dunno-whose room and Shu Hui's room to play. There were 6 of us in the latter's room so we drew lots and -yay!- I got to sleep on the bed hehe d= I didn't know Jia Zheng and Ying Zhen, but I think we hit it off pretty well. Went to sleep...zZ The perfect day was over ]=

Day 2
Damn, the hotel rooms were freezing in the morning! My body was shaking like a leaf and my teeth chattered like nobody's business. Checked out the padi, rice factory (or whatever it's called), oil palm factory and -my favourite, after the hotels- the fireflies. The fireflies were really pretty! It was magical, sitting on the boat, sailing down the murky waters, oohing and ahhing at the sight the twinkling lights made against the bushes (or whatever) in the darkness. They looked like the lights on a christmas tree or the thousands of camera flashes and flashlights during NDP. I had qualms about taking that ride at first because the dark waters looked quite suspicious and the boat was like plank- so shallow. I felt as if it would topple anytime. And then I'd be feasted on upon hungry alligators and crocodiles. Not my idea of the perfect death. But it turned out alright la, or I wouldn't be here typing this post. The only complaint I have is the gazillion mosquito bites I had suffered. I had accumulated a whopping total of 23 mosquito bites on my upper arm [note: arm, not arms] alone! Savages! My skin still looks pimply and blotchy ]= Both Lyd and Raja hadn't had an ounce of blood sucked out of them, but my right arm looked as if it were diseased- skin cancer or something. Bias!

Day 3
I was greeted in the morning with what seemed like a blizzard-weather. Any colder and I think I would've gotten hypothemia. I could barely speak nor move lorr. Went to this place with lots of statues and fountains. Has something to do with The Emergency, Shahril said. Uhh... Hyukss. I've clean forgotten what The Emergency is about. Then we headed for the chocolate factory. Sheer heaven! They used chocolate to create these really cute/intricate/pretty figurines and sold expensive looking chocolates at relatively cheap prices. Too bad I didn't have enough money so I didn't buy much. I so wanted to buy a pair of Levi's and a Jacko/Emily wallet. That wordy-"vulgar" one or the one with the butterfly motif one from the Wallet Shop would do too ]= I want to change my wallet leh... My present one looks like something a nerdy primary 3 kid would be caught dead carrying. On the bus, Lyd and I stuffed a record-breaking [for us anyway la huh] 1O bubblegums into our mouths lols. I was so afraid that I would get choked! Lyd blew an exceptionally big bubble -woot~- but I just chewed... Too big liao la. So sleepy... Night (*

chp

2005-06-10T23:52:00.000+08:00

[!] Long entry- Great for those with insomnia.
Part 1
Birds really don't like me. The other day, when I was walking along that same stretch of road to the bus stop, a crow swooped down and clawed at my head. Today, some bird-brained avian [no pun intended] had the audacity to let fly some poop on me! Grr... I think I was actually on time today- that would make it the 3rd time these 2 weeks. Then this stupid bird had to come along and... So I went home to rinse my hair and even risked drying it out by spraying some eau de toilette on it. At least it smelt good. Summer by Kenzo-something. It came with my last issue of Cleo. I reached school about 20 minutes late, only find out that all the chinese girls didn't come. That might seem ridiculous to ya'll who have no clue who I am, but my class is the slackiest [is there even such a word?] class ever -in 4e anyway- and there are only 5 chinese girls in class, inclusive of me. I was okay with that since Farizah talked to me during history and I had Regina to accompany me when it was break time. Besides, I actually like being alone *audible gasp from you*. I guess it's cos I'm quite an introvert *yet another audible gasp from some of you*. And Miss Kaur didn't come today so we were supposed to study on our own. Huda came over, probably feeling sorry for me because I was the only chinese who had attended the class besides Wei Quan, and we started chatting [not gossiping! well, maybe a teeny bit *hyukss*]. How sweet of her!

Part 2
Went out with Reggie later on. I wasn't late, unlike what you might've guessed. In fact, I waited for about 5 minutes ok! *hurr2* Checked back at the shop at Far East for that silver bag. The new stock still hasn't arrived! I really don't feel like going back a second time. But that design was fabulous! Better than the others I've seen anyway. Now I'm caught between silver, gold and bronze. So I've decided that I would buy the first nice "winner" [gold stands for 1st place, silver second...] bag I see. Saw Farizah, Huda and Aniza along the way, taking a stroll after that english course thingie at somerset's don't-know-where-- the lesson I skipped *sheepish smile*. Well Reg said that it was like any other lesson what... Farizah was all jolly, like Santa *haha* and Huda was staring at me like "What?", don't ask me why. Oh yeah, guess what? I bought a bikini! It's so cute! It has candy colours all over it... Sweet hues of green, tints of light pink and shades of perfect blue! So bubblegummy! Now, you'd probably be skeptical hearing this. Do I have enough confidence to pull it off? Would I really dare to parade in front of the tons of hunks and babes in those 2 miniscule scraps of cloth? Well, I guess I had my doubts too, but hey, everyone will be wearing it what! I shouldn't be so self-conscious. I'm still pretty worried about my tummy though. I still think it's too, umm, bouncey, to be shown to the world. I'll just have to cast those thoughts aside, won't I?, cos I'm going to Sentosa tomorrow with Magdeline! Anyways, Reggie and I went to Heeren next to search for our bags [she wants a roxy bag and a gold bag. greedy girl d;] and we tried on some clothes as well. When we were heading home, I realised that my cell phone was missing [!]. Fortunately [Thank God!] we found it at the first store we searched cos Reg had to go home. Her father was bringing them out for dinner again, at some posh restaurant, I suppose. Lucky her. Lucky me as well la, actually. OMG I WAS LISTENING TO THE RADIO [JAMIE YEO] AND REALISED THAT I MISSED CHASE! GRRMPH!!! *sulking* ]=

// Just wanna say that I absolutely love Kelly Clarkson- Behind These Hazel Eyes. Both the song and mtv. Her gowns are gorgeous and so is she!

stolen goods

2005-06-05T02:28:00.000+08:00

Shopped yet again today. I must be a really defiant person. That would explain why I didn't go shopping [as in not giving much thought to the range of items splayed out in front of me] seriously before- when I had the money. Now that I'm supposed to be saving up, I go shopping every week. This has landed me in a huge debt you know! To myself, but that's also considered owing, right, since.. Aiya, you know you know, you don't know, I also won't bother. Lazy explain. Hee* Aside from being rebellious, I'm damn indecisive as well, and that has led to my "downfall". There were these 2 shops at far east which were opposite each other, both selling bags. A pale yellow tote caught my eye in shop #1 and I took a fancy to a silver clutch in shop #2, so, being the asshole I am, I paced to and fro the 2 rivals, modelling with the bags each time. While contemplating whether to buy the silvery option in shop #2, I heard the salesperson say to someone else, "This is the last one. We'll have new stock coming in next week", but didn't bother to see which item she was refering to. I went back to #1 and came back deciding to buy #2's, but alas! it had been bought! Within, like, 1 minute! If you don't get it, this means that another person was eyeing at that bag at the same time as me, but since I was the one who took it first [but replaced it on the rack], they let me "have" it. But of course I just had to make another trip to the other shop and end up forefeiting my bag! ]= Hmmphs! I want a brown one too, but I'll buy that when school [poly..?] is going to reopen, not now. I want cheap watches too, but I can't seem to find the perfect one. I've seen many with the face designed by Kenneth Cole, but the straps are not nice. Hmm.. We'll see.

Dora brought me to see Mr. Missha at Bugis, but I only got a glimsp of him cos I was too engrossed experimenting with the nail varnishes. When I was finally done painting every nail on my left hand a different candy-inspired colour, he was gone. Dora says her friends think that he's good looking and always go there to see him lols* Anyways, I bought a shimmery violet bottle and another black bottle of cutex. I've painted my toenails black.. Gothic! At last I've got my much lusted for black polish! Weee! I bought 2 necklaces for $21 as well, and they go great with my halter, which I had later transformed into a tube top. Didn't buy much today, but I somehow spent $4O. Like, I don't remember buying anything! And I still haven't trimmed my hair. I need to. It's getting too long for my taste. Mag sms-ed me whether I wanted to go to the gym tomorrow and I said ok. Uh-oh.. Going out, for me, equals to spending money. And seeing that I've already overspent today, I really shouldn't go tomorrow. But I'm still going to. I'm stubborn, and anyway, exercising burns fat, and that can't be a bad thing. Oh yeah, we also saw Desmond Koh and Fiona Xie doing some interview thing. What a beautiful pair! I thought Fiona's make up was pretty thick, but maybe that's cos I was looking from some distance away. Who cares, the bottom line is that she's pretty. Desmond is better looking in person too, and damn! Fiona has such a nice tan. *envy*

Y messaged me again- through Friendster. Doinks. He was spewing mushy crap, saying those meaningless 3 words and stuff, asking to patch again. For the 1Oo th time, no! You said it yourself, my heart is made of steel. You know you can never enter. So stop trying to give me goosebumps with your lovesick speeches. I sms-ed him back [obviously] telling him my answer. The reason I "speak" like that here is cos I'm frustrated- I don't hate him or whatever, like you probably would have assumed. I don't dare to complain to others much cos #1. It'll sound like I'm bragging. #2. It's like I'm bad-mouthing them. Shit. Shouldn't have gone to msn. rC is messanging me there now, after at least 8 sms from him I deleted unreplied. Can't he find someone else to bother, like Lewis? Talking to him about stuff as bland as the weather is not my idea of interesting. Why do all the guys who like me irritate me? I'm serious, not being smug. It's irksome. Again, for the previous 4 sentences, look at the sentence in bold. Night (*

watch the tone

2005-06-02T23:26:00.000+08:00

Tv, tv.. What would we do without this marvellous invention? Watched "Chase" just now- it was the best episode ever! Love the ever-gorgeous Utt, who, for some reason, keeps trying to uglify himself [like donning hairstyles a la sumo wrestlers] and Linda, who bears a slight resemblance to Elva Tsiao! Mindless chatter: Lauren is oozes confidence and I dig her brand of wit. She was so steady, so cool! Sky [I'll call him that 'cos that's his name in Spin, that show from eons ago. I don't remember his name x=] is so idiotically wacky, what with him scratching his butt and his lame jokes hurr2* Then that Chad guy actually got his way, that creep! GrR* I was like, "wtf?!" when the show ended the way it did- not a single happy ending. I thought it was the season finale or something, but there's the part 2 next week. I can't wait to see Gabriel whip Chad's ass.. He waited for her for 1O freaking years ok?! He leh? He might have been gallivanting while Ellie was away, for all we know. BOO! And how could the directors not let Lauren miraculously get the contract in the end? Yeah, it's predictable, but that's how I like it. For this show anyway. I mean, Lauren, given her eloquence, beauty [ok.. so she's not that pretty, but she might be 4O or something ma. Anyway, that cheeky guy winked at her, din't he?] and somewhat unwittingly cutesy demeanour, must've been able to somehow charm her way into getting them to give her a 2nd chance, right? Thursday faster come!

I was reminded of my stupidity yet again yesterday, Told you that I was late on my fnn practical day, right? Well, I was late the next day, which was yesterday, as well. By 1 1/2 hours- for the same idiotic reason as the day before! Of course I didn't dare go in the end, so I frantically dialled lyd's no. hoping that she would help me, since she was also fnn and all. Asked her to accompany me to the doc's, but she said she couldn't go 'cos of her stomachache [diarrhea]. Well, I guess she got better in the end because she went out with sy and fm later on. Anyways, I asked Dansen, yL, cB etc [those who always pon] what I illness i should fake and it came down to the 2: headache or gastric. i chose headache [migraine type] 'cos i'd experienced it before [and the doctor totally sucked it up. yeahie!] of course i also sms-ed Dora and Jenn to accompany me since I was too afraid to go on my own [I've never lied to get an mc before. Good girl here ok [; ] and waited to see who would reply first. turned out that they were both free, so Jenn met me for awhile first 'cos she was dismissed earlier but it was Dora who accompanied me to the doc's in the end since Jenn was going to meet JX, Tab etc [it was her birthday!] later on. Jenn had on a paired of heeled sandals and she was almost my height! Went to Dora's house later on to play xbox hyukss* That's the first time I've played that kind of stuff, if you believe it. I can't get the hang of how to slide but it's fun trying to dodge evil Dora and attempting to bump her till her car turns 180 [like she did to mine!] hehe* Then her mum bought us mac.. yumm* I want 1 elder brother and 1 elder sister! Dora has both of them and they're really friendly. I bet Dora has a great time smelling her kor's butt fumes lols* d= I'd rather have a more docile brother la, but ain't it sweet when siblings want to share even the most available stuff? Nananana~ bye2!

practical

2005-06-01T00:15:00.000+08:00

Oomph!! i'm so tired!! we e5s had our fnn practical today and i was late x= i had stupidly mistaken wednesday's timetable for today's, and woke up at 8- the time i was supposed to reach schoOl!! it's for our Os ok!! but thank God mrs abbas is our wonderfully biased, loving mother [yes, our class calls her "mother"], so she let use as much time as we needed instead of keeping to the time given, which was 2 hours. my end-result this year turned out pretty good. well, compared to last year's anyway. 2oO4's was a disaster!! my muffins were rock hard [they were so memorable that ah poOn still remembers it till today s= he asked why i still dared to bake muffins this year. grR..] and i put wayyy tOo much oregano for my pasta dish, which i've forgotten what it's called. can't remember the rest now.. haha. well, coOking was never my forte. as you all know, my expertise lies in sleeping d= the coOking was fun, and bob's such a gentleman when it comes to this form of art- it's like it transforms him. lols. he's usually a big slob-, but the washing up.. heh!! it was hell, i tell you!! the pile of grimy dishes was never-ending, and i had forgotten to grease my baking tin, so it was difficult to scrub off the muffin bits that had stuck onto it ]= the schoOl's sponges are so gross!! mine was especially so. it wasn't a sponge.. it was a sodding wet mound of half-eaten.. something!! my guess is that when it was new, it had been covered in a netting, but now the sponge inside has somehow dissolved into teeny pieces. yeah, eew!! by the time we were done, i was stiCky and smelly- although sy and hy claimed that i din't reek of the kitchen oils/smoke- and all i wanted was shower and cuddle that fluffy pillow that mum constantly steals from me on her bed and doze off while watching television, but my naggy friends kept wanting to go simei. see lah!! i missed eureka, art attack and mr bean!! ]= ok, so i was already home by the time mr bean started, but i was lucid, which i wouldn't have been if i'd have had time to sleep before it. don't laugh at my show preferences ma.. the hosts of eureka and art attack have damn soOthing voices. even the way neil draws can lull me to sleep!! that's why i love to watch them. and.. umm.. hi-5 tOo. for the same reason la!! do you seriously think i enjoy watching nathan [i channel surf when he's on anyway. he's voice isn't magical like kathleen's is] prance around, trying to show off his dancing "skills" and chest muscles??

it's said that one can have many kinds of friends, whom all can be represented by different outfits. so i'd have a tight, 95% green outfit with a beige ribbon and a navy and pink body-skimming primary schoOl uniform [if there's such a thing]. can you infer from the discriptions the qualities of these 2 people?? anyways, i find traits like being self-centred and boastful highly distasteful, but sometimes i have to be the former. as ken says, it's a dog eat dog world- yes, this applies even when we're teenagers-, and like everyone, i hate to be stepped on. seems to me like it's not working though. apparently some people gleefully brag about what they don't even possess while some others are offended at not being gushed about because of some non-existant plus-point. and the most annoying type of person of all?? the kind who is saccharrine sweet, aCts like you're her best pal, then shoves all the dirty jobs to you, as well as the unwanted glares of other's warranted by they themselves. how smart. the world is full of these intelligent [read: conniving] beings. no wonder good people are always the underdog. three cheers to chelsea!! she won on "Meet my Folks" [= love her!! am i the only one who thinks that she resembles paris hilton??

im trying to improve my english here, with Os coming and all, so im typing in this non-singlish manner and try adopt a different style of writing for every post, since i don't know what my style is. oh yeah, speaking of the Os, the chinese paper was easy. not for me, the paper itself, 'cos my chinese suCks so the only papers i would deem easy would be those of primary 2 standard. i'm not kidding, as muCh as i would like to be ]= i'd be very reluCtant to retake it 'cos it's troublesome, expensive and it will be fruitless. the second round's muCh tougher, and i can't do much to improve my chinese. i can't even write "you2" of "you2 qi2 [especially]"!! and i can't differentiate the words "shi3" from "geng4". that's how bad it is s= i'd muCh rather piCk up french. there's schoOl tomorrow *siGh* don't feel like going!! and lyd's not going. at least she would've able to injeCt some refreshing crap o.O into my boring day.

bugis

2005-05-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

went out aft sku wit sy +lyd.. we went ard jkcrapping [i was jking. they were crapping d= hyukss*] thruout bugis. at one point, i felt tat they were ganging up on me n felt slightly uncomfortable ]= but brushed it off. lyd bought tis huge grey tote aft asking for our opinions. tat, to me, was e nxt best choice to e other one i saw, reason being tat hers was squarish. i pref my totes to be horizontally long.. those r tres cute!! [umm.. tres chic, so tres cute tOo, right?? haha*] aft tat lyd kept trying to dodge e store cos sy said out loud tat she had no $$ to pay, n e shopkeeper did see sy giving lyd e $$ to buy it lols* then lyd was so indignant.. said tat she was saving for rebonding- which is true. went to ebase n tried on L-size. omg!! lols* it was so big u cud see, like, half my panties if u reali pulled it dwn. actuali, u cudve seen everything, cos im pwetty sure tat it wudve come right off x= so i changed into my shorts n decided to hunt for e purrfect spag top to match them. i bought tis cute baby doll top n now i think it makes me loOk fat s= but im still gonna wear it out cos im wad u wud think rod-thin [i think my tummys humongous]. reali hope i dont loOk like a fashion faux pas or not so ps huh?? so im still on my mission to hunt dwn my purrfect top to go wit those cropped shorts. hmm.. e shorts definately call some *bling*2* y dint i wear my bracelet out today.. ee hua + yi rui gave it to me when i was sec1 -haha* lOoong ago le- n i haven worn it out more than 3x, i think. im not reali a glitzy gurl, so my clothes dont go wit it. but tats ok, im gonna try be more versatile now. not a fashion [eeks!!] chameleon like reg. even shes e mellow kind. anyway, i seriously need a tote to match e outfit!! ive gotta buy it soon!! grrmphs* no $$ le la keep spending!! all e $$ i so painstakingly saved r all gone ]'= n im not even 1Oo% satisfied wit my purchases. came hm.. wth!! was alone in e lift n e fan thingie kept blowing2.. its scary ok!! like someone breathing x= 1Oth flOor le.. i kept reassuring myself tat there wud be nth in front of me when e lift dOor opened. *lift dOor opens* "AHHHH!!" i screamed mentally. dammit. it was a long-haired, dark-skinned person. chey. n a few other pple standing behind her. n she sure saw those 5 letters scribbled all over my face -___- tis happened e other time tOo.. wit mag. did i tell u?? i was tOo chicken to take e lift, so i resorted to scaling all 11 storeys, talking to mag at e same time. i was on e 6th flOor when i saw a guy, also talking on his cell, n i screamed. SHIT. he threw me a dirty loOk. wad?? ok, i understand tat not everyone appreciates being mistaken as those things [understatement of e yr], but did he have to do tat?? im a gurl, im a child [not yet 16 hurr2*] n it was in e middle of e nite, like 1+?? u gotta liao jie ma.. anyways, i was walking along e corridor n saw 4 stratigically positioned moths. moths arent tOo bad when theyre small, but these r abt e size of ur palm!! im guessing tat theyre a family, but if tat is so, how come theyre all e same size?? i shd be able to differentiate papa moth, mama moth, baby moth n goldli-moth ma!! to make tis worse, there was a lizzie!! was it plotting how to devour e tat huge kite thing nxt to it which is actuali a moth?? hope it loses e battle. i ran thru tat light [3 of these pests gathered at one lightbulb] stage 1: completed. moving on to stage 2. i tried to go past tis moth which was resting on e flOor n it flew!! gosh its big!! gave a leetle yelp n sprinted for hm swt hm. i hate lizzies!! // im not as shallow as i sound [= //

did reali badly for my sa1. dunno how to tell mum. i know she'll nag n gimme tat disappointed mum face which i hate to see. it makes me feel guilty, n i truly meant to study, but its damn boring. speaking of boring, lao bang2 was droning on n on in his nasal monotone voice abt tis jC thing tis morning. it was mind-numbingly boring, i tell u, esp cos i dont plan on getting into a jC. my mind wasnt e ony which got numb- my legs n butt had tOo. oOk.. butt not reali la. it felt reali sour, as if all e acid had gathered there or sth. its so unfair!! bois can sit hugging their knees to their chest but we gurls cant!! hmmphs* my thighs n ass were aching like crazy n all i cud do was to shift my weight from tis side to tat for 1 sec. grR!! they know tat we're not doing well, e worst batch ever in e sku, so y r they telling us abt jC stuffs?? it was all i cud do not to scream lorr.. bang was repeated e same stuff bernard chew said!! my legs felt reali weak when i finally stood up, n my poor butt felt soO sore!! id rather stand for tat 1+++ hrs. talking to jenn now [im using wordpad w/o using int. ltr cut n paste when i online] shes so smart. emphasizes my stupidity //note: i was using some fashion terms up there hehe* hope ive used them right haa play2 ony //

im sry i forgot abt tat day. y dint i rmb until 4days tOo late?? ___ 1464 __. i will rmb u. e heart is willing but e brain is weak. help me. let me

[edited: showed mum report bk. she dint scold me. id rather listen to neo ramble on abt golf for 1hr than suffer frm my guilt. i dont dare to slp wit her tonite -like i oways do- or call jenn like i promised to. shit]

dumBoiis

2005-05-25T22:03:00.000+08:00

poOr yL..'s stead!! i cant believe him!! y mus he get sucked back?! tat stupid assclown!! things r pwetty shaky wit him + his stead, he told me. ok, so mebbe she defied his wishes by getting, wad i think he meant, a pixie cut. no biggie, n no offence, but he isnt her dad [though his taste in gurls/women is like my dad's: ultra-feminine] now hes crushing on his ex-ex-crush ]= guys r forever straying, arent they?? hmmphs. ke lian tat gurl, wadever her name is. i dont like her [his ex2 crush]. shes leading him on!! even e blind can see it!! tat explains y im able to see thru her, even though im but a by-stander who has ony heard one side of e story. e side which depicts her as e swtest, kindest gurl ever. yeah right. i know wad shes thinking. she cant bear to lose an admirer, so she keeps giving him false hope to cling to. spare e poor boi la!! she repulses me!! __ msged me last nite n i said clearly tat i wudnt like "him" no matter how long "he" waited [i wont elaborate], since he asked. tis is wad she shdve done, tat selfish bitch <3 [<- tis does not symbolise love in tis case. its steam coming outta my head] grrrrrr //note: im not jealous [duh. hes not my type] nor over-protective of a fwen. i jus detest gurls liddat //

went shopping wit reg e other day n bought tis pair of cropped shorts at ebase. found out tat id bought e wrong size!! im tOo fat >'= to wear 'm'!! u see, i like wearing stuff abt 2cm below my hips but tis pair sits abt 1cm above my hips. i wanted to change e other day but it wasnt available at tm. initially id asked jenn to accompany me but she wasnt free. i told cB abt it tOo n he offered to pei me but i made up excuses. i mean, how long has it been since we've spoken?? itd be awkward x= hope he doesnt know i was [white] lying to him.. he abhors liars. if loOks cud kill, id be dead if he knew. anyways, diana went wit me to cs's outlet to ask n e sales person [whos totally hot!!] told us tat they hadnt any L stock there, but bugis did. i sure hope no one snags it frm me, but tats highly impossible, since itd be 5 days since tat day when i go get it. i dont think my taste is tat lousy.. o ya, can u believe it?? e price of those shorts dropped by $1o 2 days aft i bought them. hmmphsssss!!

y is such a weirdo. chan is right.. hes totally clueless abt gurls. he keeps calling to ask me to patch but talks abt nth else but tat. tats dumb. cant be bothered wit him anymore. jenn n i agreed tat we shd go out sometime wit j.tan + ss they all. i said plus yz n cK tOo, but i was hovering over their names so long, she knew i wanted to say jeremy. m i tat transparent?? x= [!] jeremy is not my sku's jeremy poon frm 4e3. i have to say tis each time i mention his name, in case anyone i know chances on my blog n thinks im interested in him. not!! haa* but jeremy poon is a nice guy la. ciao`

x-ed rep

2005-05-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

uh oh. im feeling pwetty darn guilty right now, although i know i shdnt be, cos he deserved it. jus put dwn e phone wit y [he wanted to patch. heh] n i was reali rude. i was brushing him off wit every sentence.. v rude cos i said "going out wit u is v diu lian". but who ask him hor!! he was so pesky!! he kept wanting to go out tml, even though i told him lyd was gonna be ard n tat she wasnt gonna like it, n i made it plain tat i was gonna not like it even more than her. then he said he has a gurl-fwen who wants to buy clothes [i told him we were gonna buy clothes] n wants to go wit us to buy. i told him y cudnt he go wit her [obviously i knew tat he was lying la. duh] n he said tat going out wit her was "diu lian". tats y i ended up saying tat abt him. i think i oso insulted him e other time. forgot wad i said areadi. well, it isnt my fault. he was asking for it

jus like how i was asking for it when i dint study for my sa1. shit. i failed everything except eng n bio!! x= gomph!! all hell will break lose when mum sees e report slip xXx= i was so depressed e other day.. jus wanted to sock everyone i saw in e gut. everything i saw, i mentally insulted + assulted. even e innocent black cat near my hse. heii. i said mentally. i cant believe it. my rep is ruined. no, not cos i dint do well. its cos fm + s + sy saw it. even farizah + aniza!! grR* but tat was ok.. e most impt thing was tat serene n sy dint see it, but they did. SHIT. n u know wads e worse part?? i dint even know y!! ok, i know, but tat wasnt reali a valid reason!! i was feeling so lousy, n i saw h liddat, n e tension in e air was so thick, u cudve cut it wit a knife [to me anyway].. i was practically peeing in my pants s= so u see, its all a stupid mistake!! i dint even ___ when ___ so y shd i cos of ___?!?! grR im dumber than a donkey's ass.. cos a donkey's dumb n an ass is a donkey. soO.. yeah. u geddit, dont u?? lame -___- i'll work harder, i promise. i mean it tis time. u guys r probably giving 'me' a reali cynical loOk now, risking loOking like a total idiot staring skeptically @ ur monitor. well. i dont blame u. i dont reali believe myself either. we'll see [im dreading it]

shopping swimming

2005-05-15T23:19:00.000+08:00

sat..
[long post.. dont read if u think u'll slp.zZ] wow!! hehe* 6g pPle have all turned into yandaos areadi huh?? kakaka* i not ony talking abt him. yz tOo. omg he soO shuai x= [jus saw his fwenster profile n e gurls were like 'see areadi my heart beat faster lols*] sounding boii crazy but wadever. i mean, frm an ugly duckling [p5. p6 he shuai liaos] he morphed into tis swan haha* jC has oso become cuter. saw him at tm int e other day [= j.tan not much diff but can say is shuai la haha* become buffer tOo. i knew it!! my pri sku is where all e yandaos wud come frm [= droOl, gurls, droOl. i got to see them at their stupidest hyukss d=

had a great time ytd [[= tats a bad omen cos gd oways follows up wit bad, which is greater than e gd.. u know?? bla.. tis means tat my sa1 results r gonna suck s= uh oh. anyways, went window shopping [but she bought a blouse] @ orchard wit mag ytd. i saw some reali nice stuff but noO!! mus control!! mus.. $ave..!! ive been day dreaming abt wad i wud wear in poly tis past wk or so, n i wan a pair of cropped pants SO bad!! i saw e purrfect pair ytd n guess wad?? there were ony m + l size!! shit!! e below part loOks ok but e top was weird, dunno y. i dont think its cos of my non-existent ass [which im trying to produce by gd posture. yeah, im gonna stand straight frm now on] though. im like, wth!! i cant believe far east doesnt have a pair of decent cropped pants!! i saw tis tote bag [like mags + vel's, but is long horizontally, not vertically]. it was reali nice, n so was e shopkeeper [= but i wasnt gonna buy cos i was afraid i wud change my mind abt it ltr on. i wasnt gonna use it in sku. its for poly tOo. gawd. pls dont let me go ite.. to make it worse, my cousins r both frm jCs. embarrassing moment: i toOk picx of soft toys in a store [spongebob+patrick, b2 frm bananas in pjs, elmo+coOkie monster+tat yellow thing.. forgot its name hee*] n e person heard e click sound, which i cant get rid off, n asked me to delete e picx!! as if tat werent embarrassing enuff, he stOod beside me as i deleted one aft another. GRR* wads e big deal?? fun moment: it was raining reali heavily outside, complete wit flashes of lightning + bursts of thunder, n mag n i were covering our ears everytime we saw a flash in e sky. mags parents were gonna fetch us hm but he cud ony stop at somerset mrt, so we ran in e rain frm cathay cineleisure all e way there, using my jacket, which mum had forced me to wear cos she thot my outfit was tOo revealing but i toOk of aft i was safe frm her prying eyes, as an umbrella lols* it was so fun!! other pple were running as well. we hid in e phone boOth while waiting for e green man [traffic light] n stuffs haha* my slippers kept threatening to slip off!! we had to squeeze in e lorry cos it had no shelter at e back, n i sat on mags legs haa* ate dim sum at a big coffee shop then went hm. we met at 3 but time past so quickly n it was 12+ areadi. we'd walked ard 7-8hrs [minus e car ride n eating], n i hadnt eaten anything e whole day except a few spoonfuls of fattening nutella [YUMMY] + e dim sum, + when id reached hm, some grapefruit juice. y did i eat supper, of all e meals?? shit. but at least e walking made up for it. went to slp aft reading e new copy of cleo, which was a gd issue [actuali, cleo's oways interesting. tats y i buy it even though im ony 16.. fine. 15+]. plus it even had a sample of some eau de toilette [starts wit a K but forgot e name (= ps] + small pkt of foundation. i dont wear make up except for koji+mascara+gloss, which i oways lick off before anyone gets to see it haha* dunno y ps, but id be fun to see how it feels like. id forgotten wad a gd shopping companion mag was. oh ya.. one of e things we tried on was tis tube dress. it was purrfect!! if i ever go to e prom, which i dont think i will, id definately get tat. it concealed ALL my flaws!! my chest wasnt small [actuali, i dont think its tat small in my regular clothes, even though some pple say so. it isnt big, but not tat flat], i had a pert butt n flat torso. it was black wit a tiny stip of pink ribbon cinching e waist [mags was all black] n its ony $49.90!! i also tried on m.a.c's cutex in a stunning blue oceany colour. tOo bad i ony had time for one coat so e colours weak. i think one bottle costs $26?? sth liddat [read in cleo]. some guy behind us told his fwen "shes wearing ur name on her shirt" hurr2* cos i was wearing my samuel&kevin spag top =D n we toOk nps.. hahahaha* i tried to do kung fu for one of e shots [mag did e hand punch thing cos she was wearing a skirt] n i kicked tOo high, obscuring e whole of me in e pic!! lols* u cud ony see my foOt d= tats reali funny so we chose tat

[edited on] sun..
went swimming wit mag [again]. 12 laps tis time!! tis is a great achievement lorr haha* cos i oways swim v leetle n spend e rest of my time tanning. my arms r reali aching now. hehe* so happy cos ive been upgraded one cup size o.O i think its partly cos ive improved my posture. partly la, cos i dont purposely try to make them protrude. tats kinda slutty..?? bought a couple of those but not white so dunno can wear to sku anot.. we'll see ltr [= wowee burn, fat burn!! but i ate a mCspicy double meal jus now tOo, so i guess i gained e fat back x= there was tis nice uncle [whos often at e poOl. ive seen him] who gave us a few tips.. but i dint reali know wad he was saying n neither did mag lols* y called n hes so crappy!! im not sure, but is he gonna use me as a rebound gurl or wadever?? tats nvr gonna happen. haha* i gave him a piece of my mind. take tat!! anyways, edison chen is SO HOT!! he had grime all over his oily face n he was hanging away frm e floOr, a robot gripping him by e neck. meaning he had a pained expression on his face. yet he managed to loOk shuai!! he is so cute!! hong de lun oso la hah* his dimple's reali deep. lols* i jus read lyd's blog, nvm tat she says she doesnt read mine [she'd wan to be me if she did, jus for tis couple of days, i mean]. she says tat shes dying of boredom n tat she wans to go shopping- which is opposite of me n wad ive areadi done respectively. now i jus have to get ready for e bad news ]= i dont believe it!! topsy turvy toOk away e pics for tis blogskin so soon!! i know she said she was going to, but tis is fast. now im gonna have to loOk for a new one. hers again [= tata `

creepy crawlies

2005-05-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

house of creepy crawlies
cast: kelissa [lead] + jenn [image ony] + y [name on hp ony] + liz__d 1 + liz 2 + cockroach + praying mantis

scene 1: "beautiful illusions" [show] ends, signifying e start of chn8 news. kelissa goes to e living rm to watch "survivor" cos mum wans to watch e news in her rm [she oways falls aslp halfway. i wonder if its cos shes tired or cos e news is so damn boring] kelissa spots e praying mantis frm ytd. she has nowhere to hide [!] cos she reali wans to watch survivor. shit. she runs to e kitchen n seizes a pair of chopsticks. turning ard, she catches a glismp of a liz scuttling away. she lets out an ear-piercing shriek, jumps, cleans her feet on e nearest rug, jus in case she'd stepped on it/its slimy trail [GROSS] n sprints outta e kitchen

scene 2: she approaches e mantis cautiously, but cant bring herself to go within 1m radius of it. shes half crouching, half standing on e sofa, inching twds e mantis. at tis point, shes thinking whether she was gonna have to adopt e mantis style kung fu to deal wit e green thing. e mantis watches her menancingly, then cleans its face. was it breaking out in cold sweat like she was?? hmm.. finally kelissa loses her nerve n calls for her mum n hands her e pair of chopsticks. her mum is puzzled, so kelissa explains tat she was supposed to giap e mantis n put it at e balcony window. mum laughs n proceeds to do so. surprisingly, e mantis didnt fly. kelissa had expected it to, since it was flying like a mad bird or wadever ytd. bias. yay!! 3 cheers for mum!! e town is safe frm e mantis!!

scene 3: kelissa settled dwn, watching survivor. whoa.. jen was gd!! she was calm n collected, acting as if greg's being ousted dint affect her much at all. or did it?? yes!! tom won e immunity challenge!! he was kelissa's fave amongst e grp. n stephanie tOo, but she had areadi been boOted outta e tribe ]=

scene 4: a liz catches kelissa by surprise when she heads back to her rm. it was on e wall of a corner, ambushing kelissa when she rounded it. shit!! kelissa squats dwn impulsively n carefully dusts her back n ruffles her hair. who knows?? e liz might drop. eww!! she shudders n curses e liz. stepping into her rm, she picks up her hp n is shocked to see 6 missed calls. guess who?? y. surprise2 [tone: sacarstic] speaking of tone, kelissa is reminded of her sucky hist paper she took earlier tat morning. uh oh. 8 lines for a 12m qn. all does not loOk well. she wishes tat e person who called was jenn instead. jenn was mad at her, but she wasnt gonna apologise or do anything like tat. "im not in e wrong," she thinks indignantly

catch tis great movie at a theatre near u. creeping into cinemas 13/5. [Oops. forgot todays fri e 13th o.O]

bio sux

2005-05-09T14:45:00.001+08:00

my day [starting frm last nite, 11pm] // in.present.tense~
im in a gd mood aft watching "wo de lao po wei mei 18 sui". charlene is so cute!! so aft i bathe, i get ready all e stuff i thot i wud need aft mugging e whole nite thru: camomile tea [for drinking, teabags for puffy eyes in e morning] n 2 spoons in e freezer [oso for eyes. n to wake me up] // i sit down at my desk wearing my a sweater + shorts + socks + hm slipPers n try to absorb these stupid chem formulas as i listen to e radio, slowly realising tat chem is harder than i thot [ive oways flunked, but tats cos i dont listen in class. frm chp3-16]. well, chp8 anyway. i keep fidgeting; eating swts, writing stuff, earting choc, sms, doOdle, drink n refill tea, lie on e bed, paint my nails wit liquid.. feeling tired aft one chp of studying, i decide to take a nap [at 2am..?? so much for all night mugging]- n wake up at dawn. it was boring, ok. supremely mind-numbingly boring. i wake up in e morning n scramble for my maths tb n flip thru e pges, trying to memorise e formulas. fortunately, there r ony 2 chps tat r "learnable" for p1. there isnt time/need for my teabags + spoons

im in e hall, staring at qn24, my brows in a deep furrow. "shit," i think, as i pen some not-quite sensible numbers on my paper in pencil. simultaneous equations. ive oways been hopeless at maths, but "s. eqns" was e ony type of qn i was gd at. was, cos ive clean forgotten how to do it now. i spend at least 10mins scribbling furiously, trying to get an ans. finally i give up n try to do e other qns i left blank. im doing one qn [which i know e ans to] when kaur says times up. i attempt to sneak in my remaining figures but dammit, hafiz is apProaching. i stop n pretend to be relaxed as he comes up n collects my paper. fuck. i wrote half e ans in e working space [567. sth liddat] n e other half [10 to e power of -7] in e ans space. grR* i complain to sy as they buy their food. e canteen stinks. i try to study chem [since i dint get much done last nite] as they eat but get sidetracked by their chatter. sometime btwn then n 5mins into going back to e hall, i decide tat i dislike someone. *meow!!* i discuss chem wit azmir a leetle cos hes sitting in front of me. mr tan signals e end of our talk n we put our bags at a corner. shit. ive forgotten to study abt e properties of halogens n alkaline metals. "psst.. what r e properties of alkaline metals??" i half whisper to azmir. his ans is a shush. its 11, n we start our paper. gomph!! its tough!! i fall aslp halfway thru e paper, but jus for awhile. my equations [which i nvr learnt how to form or wadever frm sec3 till now] r an absurd mix of numbers + alphabets. frankly, i was initially quite proud tat id studied. i usually dont

im grab a bite wit lyd n go hm. on e bus, i see nabilah n co. + ikhwan n co. nabila plops dwn nxt to me, ony to move one seat in front to sit wit, as she says, "her boii". ikhwan n co. call me frm e back, n im dont know wad to do in reponse, so i jus keep quiet. nabila asks me abt ikwhan when her stead gets off e bus. "uh oh. dont tell me she wans an intro," i think, cos nabila's v fwenly n open. chey. she jus wanted to know whether his bro was her pal anot. she kept asking me to ask him [wads e hurry??] so i did when we alighted. yeah, he was. it felt so awkward wit ikwhan. it cud be my imagination, but he loOked as if he were smirking all e way. well, his idea of funny is my idea of not. we live in e same blk but to avoid anymore akwardness, i take a detour. i dont like talking to malays. before u peg me as racist, its cos i feel all cheenah talking to them, cos theyre speaking coherent eng while im fumbling wit my words [i usually speak chi]. gomph!! gotta learn 3chps hist + 16chps bio BY TONIGHT [theres desperate hsewives!! ):] im gonna need those teabags. actuali, i think itd be better if i concentrated on hist n wadever subj im taking on wed, since im gonna fail bio for sure, hafiz is e bio teacher. if i get e lowest for his subj, hah, im dead. wish me luck. byeee

earth faerie.. woO

2005-05-08T00:15:00.000+08:00

changed my blogskin.. tis is soO cute!! cammie/chanel/topsy-turvy is a genius!! her skins r FAB!! im trying to insert my own midi but cant. oways liddat hmmph* small eyes can be pwetty darn sexy. <-tis sentence doesnt apply to those who r single-eyelided ):

ive been soO tired these few days!! actuali, tis past 2wks. i keep trying to study but, of cos, e min i actuali focus, i drop off to slp. im so siCk of it!! grR* but i cant help it )x had my sS + chi p2 ytd. i guess i did ok for sS, considering how much [or leetle, rather] i studied. i was on n off e whole damn nite -___- rushed out my fnn ytd.. uh oh. dint do decision making. almost everyone has- i know lyd hasnt haa* toOk eng p2 tdy.. once again, i failed to complete my summary. tats oways been e case. i hate doing summaries. compres tOo. esp if e passage is boring, cos i drift off into a deep slumber n wake up 1o yrs ltr, when ~price charming + cute + handsome + smart + funny~ plants a kiss on my lips...............

used $5.4o tdy!! im ony supposed to use $2 everyday ): n i haven bought anything/made any plans for mothers day )): although mums annoying sometimes, i love her.. i think..?? im supposed to anyway, like all u filial kids ya haha* i recieved a quest from e earth faerie!! hyukss* my first quest [for tis acC anyway. she wans a steam jug] Oops forgot to feed my pets.. ciao `

cinder gurl

2005-05-02T17:17:00.000+08:00

visited my "dua-gu" e other day.. he was, n still is, in a state of coma, in icu. im not close to him in e least, but i did feel a tinge of sadness upon seeing him lie on e bed wit all those tubes inserted into him. e china lady told us he wasnt in much danger, thankfully (:

there was tis show "the stepsisters confessions" [ or sth liddat.. cinderella ] jus now on chn5. clara [ cinderella ] was soO pwetty!! now i know wad they mean when they speak of english beauty as delicate. full lips [ think scarlett johanson ], pert nose and a chin which i cant describe.. its as if it wud crumble upon e slightest touch. tis e first time i thot of hong de lun as yandao oso hurr2* [ last nites show ] n of cos, daniel wu is as shuai as usual hee* anyways, wad i was gonna say is, tat cinderella show is so wrong!! iris was a character of wit n charm. clara was but a porcelain doll. who did e prince choose?? clara, of cos. n casper was swayed by clara's intense beauty as well. iris wasnt bad loOking ma.. certainly she wasnt as attention-grabbing as clara, but surely her charisma more than makes up for tat?? all thots of her flew outta e prince's head when his eyes fell on e masked clara. meaning all they saw were her luscious lips some skin ard her jaw. then they used e stupid slipPer method of finding clara *roll eyes* bla. dumb show. but i like it anyway hyuks*

im wondering wads wrong wit everyone. suddenly cB starts talking to me [ sms, msn ] n y keeps calling n sending nite msges. irritating <- y // stuck at hm now.. gonna play my new neopets acC hehe* ive jus created another. jus for fun lAa. imma business woman [ $ ker-ching $ ] i dont fiGht battles there. i run errands n sell things. dunno whether things have changed anot thouGh. e last time i played, chocolate was hot. so many cute pets riGht.. ive a shoyru- mehster + jubjub- juBeary + aisha- aisarahh. my com's incredibly laggy these days, even more so than e past. i think it takes at least 5mins to load one freaking pg!! grR* soO blOody kiam pa )x

haik

2005-04-28T17:06:00.000+08:00

haven been blogging for soO long ya?? ate at suki sushi today [ marine parade ]. i dint reali know how to eat but still can la. i ate raw prawns!! lolsss* e weird thing is.. if they were raw, how do u explain e red colour?? shdnt they have been grey?? haha* i ony thot of it on e way hm. then there was raw stingray.. toOk a teeny bite then gave e rest to dunno serene or lyd. dont dare eat like so ee2 ya2 one haha* i oso ATE RAW OYSTER!! lolsss* i nvr wudve thot i wud ever eat raw oyster, but i did. wanted to try ma although it sounds disgusting. waaa e sause soO hot!! my lips were burning aft i drank it. wL helped me do dunno wad wit e oyster so i cud eat it easily. wanna know wad its like?? hmm.. like a slug or a big wad of booger/v solid phelgm in ur mouth hurr2* i cudnt bring myself to chew it at first cos it felt so slimy n stuffs hyuk yukss* its actuali not half bad.. hurr* was instantly reminded of mr bean when i saw ser eat it xP u know.. tat episode where he was copying tis guy, n in e end it turned out tat e oysters were bad?? haha* wL + ser knew how to eat e stuff. me lehh?? spend $18 to eat abt 4 plates of stuff + green tea. haa* actuali $25.. subsidised by sy lols* ate a bitty bit of wasabi.. eew!! oOk.. it wasnt as bad as id imagined but still, e smell was damn pungent, n it was HOT!! there was also tis pea thing which was hairy!! lols* made me think of bees. theyve hairy legs to transfer pollen grains, u know?? aha!! u dont riGht?? tats cos im a biologist n u arent!! hyuksss* so hiGh now but nth esp happy happened leh x__x dint drink beer [ i did e other nite though, when dad opened tat bottle. love e smell, hate e taste ] was soO full, but im hungry now, n its been ony 2hrs hee* saw a fab pair of specs.. retro coOl!! but wth- it costs $18o!! wad sia where m i gonna get e $$?? i dont wanna ask mum/dad to pay for me.. mebbe half ony. was left wit them 3 cos lyd had to go hm. she got slammed at suki sushi.. i dint think tat was v nice la budden i cudnt do much. wad i said was left unheard. ahh dunno la. PEER PRESSURE!! speaking of pressure..

my eng p1 sucked big time. i dint complain much cos i was afraid sounding like a hypocrite or wadever. but reali lorr.. my compo stunk n my letter writing reeked. y were they asking for soO much tis time sia?! grR* not enuff time oso lorr [ e time factor apPlies to chi oso. ken said so tOo ] now hafiz'll get to laugh in my face, say wad "eng v gd horr??" knn i dint say tat lorr. he misinterpreted it riGht.. not my fault. e stewpiit exam put me in a pwetty dark mood, but jus for awhile. uh oh.. jus rmb sfd asked me to tell them to stay back aft sku on fri but we dint Sx

wishh list- warmth

2005-04-24T13:34:00.000+08:00

went jogging wit jenn ytd @ bedok sports hall.. or wadever u call it. u know, e place wit e running traCks. haha* ive momentarily forgotten wad its called. jenn said she wanted to retake her 2.4 althouGh she passed so we ran 6 rounds cos eaCh round 4Oom. whew!! i was panting like a dog x__X e sun was beating down mercilessly on us n there was no breeze at all =__= we started at 4, i think, n it was so ridiculously hot, i cud praCtically feel e moisture being suCked outta my skin. noOp, no sweat. umm.. lols* i meant there wasnt any sweat while i was running [ i think. but head got a lot la. eew ], not tat it was easy. my legs felt like lead as i trudged on on e nvr ending traCk n again, tat "kuai le li wo hao yao yuan" song played in my head hurr2* cos my destination was soO far ma. yupPp.. ate cheese prata at e coffee shop. yummy!! jenn said they also served chocolate prata [!]. gotta try tat nxt time. went back to her hse.. bathed + loOked thru her photo albums. hyukss* soO cute sia!! <- her + her 2 sis + valerie + alex // tried to study, but it was soO boring n i dozed off [ cant believe myself sometimes.. im at someone elses hse, wit someone to pei me n i can still slp ] while jenn did her hmwk.

since ive got nth better to do now..

needs* // lusts`
grapefruit juice *
those *
purple ebase shorts [??] `
white topshop sweater *
green [ criss crossed ] spag top `
.. basically nice clothes. im runnig out x( .. *
hiGhliGhters + pens + eraser *
dior addict 2 / curious / maimi glow `
guess / fossil chain watch `
mothers day prex *
mays shape + lime mag *
cute tortise specx `
brown / grey / green contaCts `
black + pink / green cutex `
long funky earrings `
epilator *

perlini's silver non-silver neCklace `

+ silver pendant `
nivea moisturiser *
samsung e81Oc `
tankini `
most imptly, $$ ***

im a low maintainace gurl, reali. loOk again- my "needs" r simple =) i know i havent been giving mum mothers day gifts since forever, but tis time i jus feel like buying her sth. prob is, her prex is hard to find. we were out e other day loOking for watChes but cudnt find a suitable one cos e ones she chose were, uh, obiang, n e chic hyuk yuk* ones i chose dint have those leetle indication thingies. she wans those cos she claims tat she cant read e time without them =s well, her present watCh is functioning purrfeCtly fine [ not to mention tat it loOks better than all e other watChes she piCked out ], but since she wans another.. i guess dad n i will have to hunt for it. eex* im soO broke areadi n i still have so many things to buy!! *gomph*

dunno how to face hafiz + abbas tml. shit

stupid fucking asshole

2005-04-22T18:20:00.000+08:00

today.. shit hapPened. dint bring journal bk today n was scolded, along wit 1o other pPle [ i dint count. hafiz did. thrice, aloud ]. he kept loOking at me for some reason, like i was more at fault than e others. i assumed tat it was cos i was oways omost-late for sku, so i jus maintained eye contact wit him whenever i cauGht his glance, whiCh was quite often. then he was like "do u have a prob??" n "is ur eng gd?? [ cos journal writing is supposed to help improve our horrendous eng ]". obviously i ans no to both qns cos #1. it was e sane thing to do #2. i reali dint have a prob -unless he was talking abt him staring at me every so often- n truly didnt think tat my eng was gd. tis is e part where im caught btwn wanting to laugh n wanting to cry: lyd felt indignant for me as she deems my eng to be of a somewad slightly higher lvl [ I TOLD U <-WHOEVERS READING TIS// TAT I DONT THINK SO. im not being humble now ] n she actuali told hafiz tat i was capable of getting an a2 [ i disagree, esp since ive been deproving tis yr ], so he shdnt have insulted me jus now. i dint know wad was going on so i was like "phew.. no need go hm get journal" ~cos for hafiz, theres a time limit. once, i had to hurry back n forth within 3o mins x__X~ suddenly hafiz says "do u think ur eng is v gd??" or sth liddat. i was stunned when i realised tat he was directing tat qn at me. for e 2nd time tat day -actuali third. i ans him 2x e first time-, i ans tat qn. he proceeded to talk abt constructive criticisim yada yada. i was mortified- wth was going on?! i found my body malfunctioning: #1.i wasnt unable to breathe normally #2. discovered a new superhuman ability: e power to hear wad others cudnt -like daredevil-. in tis case, it was my heartbeat *bam3*. e paralysing humiliation i was dealt wit caused tat, not him *roll eyes* he was making it sound as if i thot highly of myself, as if i were so blOody cocky x( he told e class tat our [ e whole class la ] eng stunk, n all i cud think of was how i was going to clear my name. i know i havent any image to tarnish, but tis is.. eesh* wadever. my point is, it was soO embarrassing!! i dint do anything n now e class thinks im an over-confident big-headed asshole. fabulous. now ive one superb reason to study damn hard for my sa1: to prove to hafiz wad he had said jus now n during march was crap. to prove tat i can knock his socks off wit my flowery lang. [ tats y i'll try to use cheemer <- hokkein// words here now ] but e thing is, i know cant, n nvr will. eng is not like e other subj <- excpt chi [ my chi is a gone case ]. u cant possibly go frm getting mediocre grades to getting a1 within 3mths, much less 1wk. sure, u can learn a few impressive phrases, but tats not how it works. uve gotta have flow *whoa* in ur writing. dunno how say la.. geez. hmmphs* tis is akin to watching a car accident- i know its gonna happen [ me not doing well ] but i cant stop it [ i fall aslp everytime i try to study, n eng, to me, is an "unlearnable" subj ]. i can see it now; him saying "see, wad did i tell u?? wad did i tell u?? i knew it. for 7yrs ive been teaching o lvl classes...." gawd, i hate it when hes right. its not like i dont care abt my studies- i do!! but he doesnt understand.. im not gonna bother explaining here la. if u know me, u'd have heard it. tats hafiz for u- extreme. everything he does is extreme. he has extremely strong will-power n conducts extremely boring lessons as well. he thinks he makes them interesting though, but sry, theyre so mind-numbingly boring, i count mins to e end of his lesson 5mins into e lesson n resort to abusing [ pinChing myself, biting my lip hard ] myself jus so i wun fall aslp. ruzaini probably thinks im crazy. i wonder whos e teacher who set our time-table- 3 bio periods straight on tue. take a leaf frm shahrils bk la. shahril doesnt joke as much, but hes reali witty n is damn humble, which is more than i can say for hafiz. hes one teacher whose lessons i actuali enjoy.. n hes teaching hist. oOk, back to e story. nxt lesson was geog, n i cudnt bring myself to loOk at anyone, including miss kaur. i felt soO misunderstOod sia. kept frantically scribbling "hapPy words" on my ss bk, hoping tat somehow, seeing these words wud elevate my mood at least a leetle, tat by doing so i wud be able to distract myself frm my thots. tat was how desperate i was. nxt2 lesson- eng. cudnt bear to loOk at abbas as well. shes said before tat i was slipPing, n its true. then tis hapPens. wad wud she think of me?? self-delusional?? tat im over-estimating myself?? way over my head?? arrogant?? all of e above?? wad?? wadever it is, its not gonna be sth gd. but apparently she hasnt caught e wind of tis juicy leetle piece of gossip yet soO.. we'll see. we were doing tis eng wksht n iy + shai asked me some qns. i wudve been more than willing to explain to them under normal circumstances, but today, i jus wanted to paste a "wo hen ben. bie wen wo" sign on my forehead. tats chi for "im dumb. dont ask me". cos i felt like some kind of show-off jus speaking an eng word. i was starving, but tis incident totally killed my appetite. it oso gave me a great insight on how "frozen stiff" reali feels like. gomph* i reali dont think i can handle loOking hafiz in e eye ever again, knowing wad he thinks of me- a conceited bitCh. even though i know hes got e wrong idea. yeah.. his leetle speech did make sense n i wudve totally agreed- if itd been true tat i was reali tat bhb!! my perception of him hasnt changed much cos of tis, but his of me has, i guess. blaaa.. if i sound like i hate him, its cos im blOody pissed tat he falsely accused me n gave others a bad impression of me. anyways, heres one thing i dont understand: how can anyone prevent themselves from forgetting sth?? isnt forgetting an involuntary act?? attitude has got totally nth to do wit it, otherwise it wud be called sth else, like "deliberately not bringing". duh. im surprised at myself for not blowing my top at lyd cos i do think shes part of e cause of my terrible misfortune. tat proves im reasonable + lvl-headed right?? hurr2* nahhs its cos i knew she bore e best of intentions, tat she was speaking up for me. tats actuali kinda swt of her *eeeeww!!* n i actuali feel grateful *bleahhhsss*, not cos i needed her to do so but cos she did wad she thot she shd do for a fwen, even if it meant standing up to an ape-like monster which has a tolerance lvl of o.5 to zilch

2.4km`!!

2005-04-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

owwwweee!! i developed 3 humongous blisters + 1 small one whilst running my 2.4.. pain sia!! e one on my riGht leetle toe popped!! tats soO gross!! i dint even realise it till i toOk my shoes off to cheCk ltr on. i cud feel them grinding against my shoes but dint bother n jus ran for all i was worth. toOk me 16.13 sec. heii no fair.. i ran more than them both x( but wadever. i passed weee`!! n i burned off fat tOo weee`x2!! i thot tat my headaChe was gonna worsen [ somehow, i ended up slping kneeling dwn hurr2* - i oso dunno y- thru e nite =s lolsss* ] but e run aCtuali cleared my head. ser had a couGhing fit aft e whole thing cos shes a smoker n stuffs. lyd even more jialat. she had reali bad stitChes frm e running or sth n cud barely stand up =x fm accompanied her in e siCk bay for e rest of e day. toOk e hist test. dint study at hm. e ony time i got to scan thru ser's notes was when we were walking to e park. pathetic. so im like, "oOk.. mcp- weak; no ammunitions + fOod supply ..." when everyone else was getting hyped up for e run. dint feel like staying in class, esp aft recess when ser pon/went to pei them at siCk bay [ not sure ]. sy told sfd tat ser's being there was redundant cos she she thinks its unfair tat ser gets to skip class while she doesnt. uh. frankly, i disapprove, but i dint know she was gonna tattle on her before she did. o, tat reminds me. my impression of hafiz is quiCkly deteriorating. he aCtuali kills lizzies [ tats a gd thing to me, but as muCh as i hate liz***ds, i aCknowledge e faCt tat its cruel n, in faCt, a leetle psychotic ] n is pwetty biased. so i was smiling during e sku song- big deal. who was e one who bitChed abt bang + neos nose hair bla3?? skipped choir today cos hee* id forgotten all abt it n dint have my gown wit me. full dress rehearsal ma.. i told them tat id hurt my legs, whiCh is teChnically true, cos my feet r reali badly blistered; like 3 on one toe. its disgusting!! eew!! n i reali hope they dun put me in an awkward position, on stage, i mean

gd nite. when a person says "gd nite" in a msg, it obviously means tat its e last msg, riGht?? u dun carry on n try to converse wit tat person anymore, riGht?? well, apparently some pPle think otherwise

watChed part of a rerun of e charity show last nite. they [ orchestra of artistes ] were playing tat song hanging upside dwn. wow. jamie yeos riGht lols* they did loOk reali uGly, esp wit e concentrated rouGe. tat was when i wondered: ___?? i reali hope so. im not asking for muCh, jus for _______ hears tis song. but if not, its ok tOo. mebbe its for e better, cos mebbe we'll meet 2o yrs dwn e road n start on a clean slate. hah

2005-04-19T19:38:00.000+08:00

im feeling like a real airhead riGht now. first, a fell aslp on e bus n missed my stop. normally i wud wake up automatically, jus before my stop, but tis time i snoOzed riGht past it x__X luCkily for me, i bumped into dad n he drove me hm. n now ive jus realised tat i left my fnn disket in e com lab AGAIN =x in e teaChers com, no less -__-"

stayed baCk to learn e chi words today.. kept dozing off.zZ soO tired lehh but heng i passed weee` wallalas i passed!! tats a miracle considering e faCt tat i had been studying "dodgedly". stewpitt fnn. need to change tis change tat.. so muCh!! blOody coursework!! e ony thing i liked abt fnn today was my test paper hee* i got full marks, n while tat isnt sth to be proud of [ cos abbas said tat it was an easy paper + many other pPle scored full marks as well ], im hapPy cos its e first time id gotten marks tis hiGh. i usually hand in shitty work hee* xP Oops!! omost forgot. theres napfa 2.4 tml.. EEEXXX!!!! im dead x__X i cant run to save my life, or face, in tis case. then theres hist test tml tOo. yay. in case u dint notice e tone of my "yay", its sacarstic. we hist students r supposed to be able to identify tat

n yes, those words dwn there r written [ changed. wadever ] by me

eex i jus saw 3 liz**ds n another hidden one near me making tat rattling "tsk2" noise again. eew siCkening. OMG one has LOST ITS TAIL!! it jus has a short stub there!! GROSS!! scram, lizzies, SCRAM. sometimes i wish hafiz were my dad, jus cos i know tat he wud get rid of those moist squirmy things for me x(

slpy tired lazy me

2005-04-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

im not supposed to drink coke, esp non-diet coke late at nite. corraine said so. tat wud be e woman who has e most coveted [ oOkie.. to me anyways ] job in e world- cleo's beauty editor. but im blatantly chugging it dwn now cos it feels SO gd; it perks me up n, supposedly, gives me my muCh needed energy boOst. e ony reason my cokes not diet is cos it was free- courtesy of watson.. they were part of e "gdie bags" they gave out during energys mini concert. uh oh.. i can feel myself getting more n more bloated wit every gulp =x n im reminded of e excess kcal *ee!! yuCksss* it carries everytime i swallow. its been a lOOoong day. im sooOO tired!! napfa. failed e stupid standing board jump. but tis is e first time i did 3 pull ups without cheating hehe* tats an improvement, rite?? diana came over jus now to use e int. watChed a leetle tv aft she left n toOk a nap at 9. woke up abt 3omins ago, whiCh was o2 3o hrs ltr. gawddd. how m i gonna finish everything?? n i reali dun feel like doing anything, tats y im typing tis post. im tired like hell, n its ony mon!! eex* even my coke isnt working now. my eyelids r droOping.. lower.. lower.. nooooOOOO!! -__- zZ..

swim

2005-04-18T00:35:00.000+08:00

woke up early @ 1O today but went out at 11 45. hmmph* chey.. mag called soO early. for ur info, i dint take so muCh time to get ready or watCh tv before i got ready [ like i usually do =x ] cos there wasnt anything remotely interesting on tv anyway. it was cos mags dad came late to fetCh me hee* gawd my left arm was aChing like crazy aft our brief swim n we dint even swim all e time!! we spent most of our time lounging in e poOl. mag spotted e ah peh who had approaChed her to teaCh her how to improve her swimming e other time [ i wasnt ard ]. he was at e other end of e poOl wit a -i think la- teenager so i wasnt bothered, but i saw him nearing us mid-swim ltr on, n tat spurred me to kiCk harder. im pathetic- e ony style i know is breaststroke. or fr_g style. wadever. [ i dun wanna sp e whole word out. i hate Fs!! ] anyways, in my hurry, i swallowed a gulp of water n drew in some water thru my nose xS heng not a lot ar haha* he dint talk to us in e end. its nice of him to wan to teaCh pPle, but it feels weird rite.. esp since hes a stranger n all. yupPp. satisfied tat i had burned some kcals, i wolfed dwn a mcspicy double + large fries. yumm.. so sinful, yet so gd. i dint take e diet coke into account, esp since i ony toOk a few sips. swimming oways makes me feel hungry, no matter how leetle i swim. mag wans e same thing as me. sorta. ____ keke* its a secret. i kinda admire mag.. she wore a bikini top + shorts. i wud nvr have e guts + figure to wear tat. id muCh rather own a tankini than my present dull, unflattering one-piece *pout* bouGht cleo at last!! tis issue is GOOD!! e cover pg loOks boring but i cudnt resist buying it [ i have a 1yr+ colleCtion of cleo + seventeen mags. not tOo muCh but heii, im ony -omost- 16 ]. i wan dior addiCt 2 + miami glow!! theyre fragrances, if ur wondering. i dun wear perfume but i still wan to own a couple of bottles.. ralph lauren coOl/style wud be nice tOo. im oso lusting aft perlini's silvers blaCk/ blue/ pink neCklaces + pendants, fossil watCh n gucci chain bracelet. but i wudnt wear any of these out either. im slip-shod. i wear shorts to tm. still, id lurb to have those stuff mentioned abv. + e81Oc <- samsung hp// tOo. tis is wad magazines do to me- make me materialistic. ok la.. dun push all e blame to them la.. im oso at fault. then, again, im not. i mean, i wudnt be like tis if i were a guy, riGht?? hyuksss* went to ntuc [ again ] for my grapefruit juice. it was e last bottle [ thank God ].. i hope they have new stork nxt wk. experimented wit my eye make-up- mascara + koji. they do wonders!! i wudnt dress my eyes up so muCh when i go out thouGh, cos im afraid itd be tOo obvious. nxt time, perhaps. haiyaya.. my precious wkend- gone liddat. lyd told me tat our sa1 was 2wks awy n i dint believe her. shit. it reali is 2wks away!! mag confirmed it =xXx IM DEAD. Oomphss* theres napfa tml!! jialat2.. wad if i fall running?? i hate shuttle run. n standing board jump. i barely passed it last yr. n inclined pull-ups. i cheated last yr.. but i can at least do 2 la. not pathetic until liddat hurr*

gd news::: yL told me tat she'd finally agreed to stead wit him weee` hes a gd guy.. thank God she said yes. all guys shdnt be like him thouGh. hee* more of purrfeCtly impurrfeCt guys, pls!! these r more my type =D energy performed for e charity show jus now. i used to think milk was e shuaiest [ aft toro left ], but ive changed my mind. dada is soO cute!! he reigns supreme!! uh. lolsss* then didi v ke lian.. cud see tat he was upset cos he cudnt dance n play his part [ write wit his mouth while doing a handstand ]. ___ made a mistake!! they sang "bu shuo zai jian" instead of wadever i said ytd.. sry forgot xS___

energy!!

2005-04-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

went to fetCh energy at e airport wit jenn. they say ah di cut his hair again but cant see cos he was wearing a beanie =( ah di going ns le!! cos e company dun wan him x((( how can they sia!! v guo fen lorr cos he e lead singer [ althouGh milk = leader ] n he got hurt oso cos of dance ma. toOk 1 clear pic of dada + 1 v blur one of shu wei.. keke* v gd areadi lorr cos my hp lan. going baCk, we heard someone behind say didi ugly. [?!] Ooii!! he so ke lian lorr!! still liddat say him. my head jerked involuntarily n i think they noticed, cos her fwen said not to speak so loudly unless she wans to get beaten up. well, obviously a refined person like me *lolsss =pPp * wun piCk a fiGht wit her la, but i reali feel bu zhi for didi x( ate at paya lebar, then set off for bishan for their mini concert. i thot we were early but omg there were soO many pPle there before us!! e Q went on n on n on lorr =S we were asked to sit dwn when we finally reaChed e end of e Q. haa* heng i wore pants. jenn had on a skirt but sat dwn anyways. went to toilet halfway [ we asked pPle help to us chop place ] n coming baCk, i saw a lottt of pPle Q-ing behind us. weee` everyone lurbs energy!! hurr* we were given these coupon thingies n jenns had a piggie stiCker on e baCk. turns out, whoever gets e stiCker can go up e stage to play games wit energy!! woOt` jenn soO luCky!! but she deserves it cos she lurbs them soO muCh. there were 8Oo+ pple n ony abt 1O got e stiCkers. there were 2 more pPle cos they called out numbers.. or sth liddat la. luCkier still, she got to shake hands wit -her fave- dada!! jenn went, n i was left standing there alone. well, wit 8Oo+ pPle la.. but u know. it dint bother me at all thouGh. i kept screaming whenever they waved or said sth i liked or wadever cos n e atmosphere was so hiGhhh wooOOt` lols* i kept smiling idiotically to myself cos they were soO cute!! hurr [x2]* e first game was guessing stuff an ang moh person said, n e 2nd was soO funny lolssss* they had to take a gulp of water n say a sentence. e nxt person passes on e msg.. they were like "gurr gorr gurlll gor gorl" lorr hahahaa* sw tapped dada's throat while he was trying to do it once, n e 2nd time, he sang "tian kong mei you xia yu" <- dada's single. then dada spit water out!! lolsss* he so cute!! then they kept humming dunno wad song n stuffs. didi said tat e water tasted funny then dada [ i think ] said tat milk spit baCk e water jus now when it drank it hee* they like so close lorr. jenn luCky cos ony one person frm e audience had to talk wit water in her mouth in e end. they sang "hey u [ plus dance. didi cudnt dance thouGh x( i toOk a short video but soO small n someone kept bloCking me wit her board grR ] + duo ai wo yi tian + yi zhi dao zui hou". yuk yuk* kept bumping into sL + boOng today. first on e mrt there, then on e mrt baCk. they were going to bugis [ diff place ] so quite qiao haha*

mag msged me go swim tml n i said ok, so tml im gonna exercise off e swt stuff i ate today yay!! haa* today reali ate a lot of swts + fatty stuff lorr. a lot swts [ 1 whole bag ] + chocs [ at least 15 drops ] + 2 butter naans + sugar cane juice + rice + fish + eggs + at least 1o lemon cream biscuits + 1 grapefruit juice. oO no more grapefruit juice!! gotta buy tml. ciao~

gd loOkings

2005-04-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

omg lols* i jus saw e cutest ah gong!! tom. tom dunno-wad frm "survivor- palau". hes e best loOking guy on e island, n e other 3 guys r young.. like 3o at most!! i think hes ard 45..?? hahahaa* hes has a great bod tOo. mmm.. hes gonna make those mamas droOl lols* then theres tis gurl, jenn [ not u la tan wan xin lolsss* ] who loOks like cameron diaz n has The Figure. hot!! i watChed last wk tOo n i reali [x2] think bobby jon shdnt have gone. steph is great, but he tOo shd have been given e chance to stay ma. poOr guy. speaking of hot tv pPle, its a real pity tat denise keller has suCh a big mouth [ no offence ]. shes gorgeous wit her briGht eyes + sharp nose + flawlesS skin but boOm!! theres tis big hole in her face whiCh turns out to be her mouth. hurr* im not a fan of these kind of charaCteristic features xS n keira kniGhtly [ issit how u spell it?? ] is soO chio!! i so envious

waA!! i failed my chi test x( cant blame me lorr.. soO tired these days. woke up @ o5 1o n ended up half slping, half studying [ 14o words. need 1Oo to pass, not 7o x__X ]. absorbed nth. it was ard 6 when i finally woke up. tried to study while brushing my teeth - (++++) - how pathetic lols* cudnt even study on e bus cos there wasnt anywhere to sit. bah. jus ate a whole tube of chocs n im feeling soO guilty. it super big lehh!! its longer than a 5Ooml bottle, i think. gonna see energy tml wit jenn.. i wanted to call dora go swimming some time but np is like her life, n i guess it takes up a lot of her time =(

rC asked [ nicely, but is still ask riGht *roll eyes* ] y i replied so late n i told him e truth- tat i dint bother to cheCk hp. then his reply was "wa u smart la [ or sth liddat. sounds skeptical *roll roll eyes* ] --proceeded to say haha n tell me wadever happened to him--" [ sometimes i dun even read his whole msg. i jus reply to e first sentence, e ony one i read xP, immediately hee* ] im not obliged to reply him ok.. so i dint aft e nxt msg. wad m i supposed to say?? gd boii.. uve reported ur daily events punCtually!! heh. wadever. anyways, i found out abt sth. n i dun reali care anyways. i thot i cared but tried to aCt like i dint [ psychological warfare against myself. yay!! i won haha* ] n either it worked reali well, or i dint care in e first place. either way, im hapPy =D yayyyayyyyy~ arent i smart =pPp

touChed by an angel

2005-04-12T20:51:00.000+08:00

hee* my arms r soO smoOth now!! lao gong [ jenn ] sure wanna hold rite lolsss* gawd im swamped wit hmwk x( owe teaChers a lot ar!! theres 1Oo+ word chi spelling [ tis time is 3a.. last time one was 2b. suCks =s ] + chi fys [ 5yr series ] + eng compo + fnn coursework + fnn common test + maths. soO muCh!! all these r those do v long one lorr n i now so drowsy + queasy, dunno y. i dint take any medicine lehh

made my ez link.. hyuk yuk [x2]* e pic soO nerd!! -O.O- i used sec1 de hurr* dun wan take another one cos waste $$ n so troublesome. stupid lyd kept putting her foOt in her mouth today [ metaphorically la sumdoll lolsss* ] n when we went make ez link she was like soO mushy *coy giggle* hahahaaa* i hear le wanna puke.. no dustbin x__x mebbe tats y i feel nauseous now o.O y's been msging me nitey msges for 1wk or so now but he still hasnt called. i hope he calls n asks me out [ like, go out. fwenssss ].. im bored.zZ* i lurrbbb "desperate housewives!!" susan is soO cute + comical, esp for a 40+yr old, n gabrielle's soO damn gorgeous!! lynettes incredible!! she manages reali well, has an attitude, n is so mischievous [ umm.. i dun mean sexually ]. so, im requesting here tat chn5 shows it everyday instead of mon ony, preferbly at 9pm cos theres nth to watCh.. chn8+u all crap shows xS uh oh.. wads mum doing?!?! shes chanting buddhist thingies n its freaky. her voice is soft.. ghostly =x but no fear, for dads here!! -_-" eex!! e tv's [ dvd ] chanting tOo. for ur info, im baptised. they jus dun know it yet. n im sry to say, im a very laggish christian x__X waa.. i so touChed!! ok not exaCtly, but in some kinda way, yeah.. umm dunno how say la aiyaa. i saw their blogs.. shes v's soO real n j's so commited. theyre like reali sincere; earnest =D

daydreaming

2005-04-11T16:40:00.000+08:00

hurr [x2]* lied to dad tat my shoes had shrunken in e rain.. he wasnt taken in. he was supposed to believe it!! id exChed shoes wit boOng today [ hers size 5, mine was 7 =x ] cos she complained tat her shoes were tOo tiGht n mine were tOo big anyway. soO cramped!! somemore i was wearing my thiCk soCks. i was freezing over during fnn [ com lab ]. i was so cold, my finger turned numb n my wrist started aChing, whiCh i think was caused by irregular blOod circulation. shit* we're supposed to hand in fnn first thing wed for cheCking n i still haven completed my basic research. doinksss* + today so muCh [ piled up ] hmwk x( saw lyds stead.. hes average loOking lorr, a leetle like jC hurr* but jC has e kiddie element he doesnt lols* still rmb he played wit power ranger figurines or sth hahahaa* she told me abt their kisses *muahhs [x3]*, laCk of spark n stuffs.. ~grandma story time~ i rmb wad it was like wit y [ <- i dint reali like him anyways. like, not at all. dun ask ]. there was no spark. like nad wud say, no ping. soO.. i hope u get ur ping nxt time ya?? n dun bite his tongue off!! lolsss* yupPp i like my new [blog]skin. ive oways used blaCk skins but tis time round i chose white.. like so pure + clean. if ony i cud start on a clean slate. tats wad everyone wans, isnt it?? i kinda ______. i was smiling to myself everytime i _____, n i even ______!! oh gawd tats soO dumb lolssss* id die if anyone saw tat x__X i feel bad for dissing rC but.. hee* nvm one rite?? yeah tats all for today. my lifes boring

poOr us

2005-04-10T17:41:00.000+08:00

jus came baCk frm buying stuff wit my parents. yeah i know, its been quite some time since i went out wit them. i wanted to buy a box of mthly ones cos id go out more during e hols [ june ] so we bouGht tat + 2mths dailies. woOt` my riGht eyes degree has gone dwn but boO` left eyes increased. yeah, going out wit parents can be embarrassing, but theyre cute. sometimes anyway.. hurr* went ntuc again..eew!! i hate e chiCken + all kindsa meat + fish part it soO stinky sia xS bouGht some soCks today.. u know y?? cos tat time mum bouGht shoes for me but they were e wrong size [ 7.. 6 is areadi a bit lOose ] so dad decided not to rebuy shoes n instead get thiCker soCks. im gonna loOk so dumb eeshh* dad says we're poor, esp since his taxi has broken dwn so theyre gonna use $$ frm my bank for some stuffs, like my contaCts + hp bills [ if theyre over $4o ]. i wasnt aware tat we were tis.. umm.. unwealthy =x so being e gd gurl im hee* i told mum she cud cut my allowance. anyone wanna donate $$ to me?? *sad pupPy face*

joseph is soO cute!! lolssss* hes e room raiders guy la, n hes e total paCkage!! y cant sg guys be liddat haa* hes gorgeous [ he gelled his hair all baCk n he still loOked great. tat tells u sth ] + cheeky + funny + witty + non-smoker. o, n he uses condoms =x hyuk yuk* n armina is like so purrfeCt tOo. shes organised, shes pwetty n she takes fashion design [ i think.. or wassit e gurl before her?? ]

runnn

2005-04-10T02:35:00.000+08:00

weeeeeeeee` feel like im bionic woman rite now haha* jus came baCk frm my run-cum-shopPing-cum-weiGht lifting walk. can u believe it?? i toOk 25mins to run [ + walk ] 2.4km!! UH OH!! napfa jialat liaos x( ran in e park cos there wasnt anything better for me to do.. there was tis reali short uncle there who was making me feel damn inferior n pathetic cos he started running ltr than me, yet we crossed paths 3x!! arGh* there were 2 gurls [ seperate ] ard my age there as well, n they both were running continuously, as far as i cud see, unlike myself. i walked 2Oom for every 15Om i ran for e first abt 1.2km. e rest was worse. im wondering y do our legs itCh aft running for sometime?? [ dunno who told me hers itChed tOo so its not jus me ] issit cos e fats r being metabolised n coming outta our skin?? or wad?? i so like tat theory. it makes e itCh worth it. take tat, u fatty fatass fats!! there was tis couple there tOo.. e guy was teaChing e gurl how to rollerblade. they were ard 2o, i think, but who cares?? they still made me jealous. like soO lurbing, u know?? i scrammed. cudnt stand to be near them knowing tat dC + steven r both wayyy outta my reaCh. besides, i wud be so liGhtbulb if i had hung ard. dint feel like going hm aft e run, so i went to ntuc to see wad i cud buy. grapefruit juice in particular. so lugged e stuff hm n boi were they heavy!! ok.. aCtuali not tat heavy, but i had blisters on both my big toes [ i wore sliPpers. heii.. i dun have any shoes besides my sku shoes ] n they were killing me. ahlalAa i saw a semi-cute guy lols* he loOks a leetle like cs, but hes cuter. great timing- jus when i loOk my most haggard. but wadever. i was like "wheee-horr [x2]" [ <- panting ] by e time i reaChed e bball court near di's hse [ near my hse oso la but my hse got soO many bball courts ma ]. i toOk e stairs up n i swear, i felt like i was scaling mount everest, even thouGh i ony live on e 11th flOor. i cud mentally hear tat amazing race guy saying "welcome to hm swt hm. ur team no.1 *congratulating smile* ". hm ground nvr felt more inviting. lyd went out wit her stead n sy's praCtically married to her com. she says her dad forbids her to go out. yeah rite. since when does she listen to her parents anyway?? wadever. life as a single wit attaChed fwens sure suCks. wadeverrr.

bean.

2005-04-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

ummm* i lurb banana-chocs!! its frm meiji.. loOks soO cute n tastes like yummy dreamy swt thinksss yay!! toblerone bitterswt choc oso niceee [ haven eaten dark choc for a lOoong time liaos. if ive ever eaten dark choc more than 2 bites ]. grapefruit juice.. helps me jian fei!! n its bitter.. great for when ur feeling dwn. or up up n awy!! dumbssss* ate wit jenn today n she paid for me [ ive treated her before oso ] see.. we're not geh gao hurr* stewpitt today eat soO muCh n all is fatty stuffs. mac 2x filet meal + banana-chocs + a bit toblerone + juice x__X tis was wa happened ytd..

i was nervous like shit. was loOking at e audience [ sing finish one song liaos ] then tried to turn baCk loOk at miss lee but my head was stuCk!! uh oh!! tOo nervous areadi.. wan turn my head oso cannot. like cramp or wad lols* felt a bit dizzy oso n my platforms [ kok kok shoes la ] were killing me. like soO scary sia!! we dint know how to exit so tat was awkward.. esp for me cos i e first one in front row!! si eh ps. before setting off for e concert hall, mdm ho asked us to put our wallets + hps into these plastic bags n said e helpers [ sec 1s, those not singing ] wud take care of them. i retrieved my hp immediately aft e performance n had it wit me all e way. reaChed sku.. first thing i did was rush to e toilet to change lols* kaisu!! e helpers put e plastic bags on e table for us to take our wallets. aft coming baCk frm e toilet, i loOked for mine but it was nowhere to be seen. pple said they saw my wallet [ i dint think it was tat distinCtive ] when we came baCk but.. hmmphs* lotsa pple kept asking me "ur wallet wad colour" + "found it??" n e helpers kept explaining themselves.. wad for sia?? i dint even blame them. i suspeCt someone.. *'s e ony one i think cudve done it, but confronting __ wud make __ v ps, esp if __ dint take it. n __ has a weird temper.. so i guess im jus gonna have to save more $$

ouuuCh!!* ive fallen irrevocably in lurb wit mr bean!! hes soO cute!! dom dom dom dom dom domm~ lols* marry me?? wad if our kids have [ his ] big nose + [ my ] miniscule eyes how?? .__( o O )__. <- e mouth is e underscore _ normal size.. eyes : mouth : nose ratio 1 : 2 : 6 uhh.. hyuk [x3]* normal pple one is n__n lorr lolsss* i found a skin on "boulevard of broken dreams".. it soO nice but e bandwidth exceeded or sth grR* how long has it been since i changed my skin anyways?? hmm.. i wan a simple white one tis time **aft searChing** tis ones frm quite long ago but yupPp its nice. i guess i'll use it for awhile

fuCked up day

2005-04-07T17:25:00.000+08:00

KNN CBB U ASSHOLE!!!! tis is to whoever stole my wallet. if it was stolen. theres $4o + a lot of neoprints [ priceless!! FUCK U ] + those 2 bus tiCkets [ which i'll nvr be able to get again EVER ] + ez link + library card + e keys to my diaries. these things r of utmost value to me u INSOLENT IDIOTIC SUCKER!!!!!! esp e nps + bus tickets lorr. im gorging myself on 2 bowls of noodles + chocolate now cos they say fOod will make u feel better but no lehh, im angry + sad + bloated + hot n not feeling any better. was quite touChed thouGh, when joyce + cheryl loOked for it wit me. esp joyce. she was like so concerned. shes definately a muCh better person than i gave her credit for. everything's going wrong. dads taxi jus got into an accident [ thank God dads fine ] so ive to go to sku by bus. n i dun have ez link. u'd think life wud be turning ard by now, considering e unfortunate stuff tat has happened to me tis past 2wks or so but nooo, it gets worse. e nxt thing i know, id have lung cancer. i aCted as if losing my wallet was no biggie. i mean, i dint aCt all smiley, but i dint sit dwn n stare into space or anything. i jus aCted like nth happened, but truth was, it affeCted me a lot. $4o to me is aCtuali quite a lot cos im pwetty poor, n those dates- i can nvr relive those days to get those dates. n those nps.. everythings so fuCked up

syf.. we got bronze. miss lee gathered us n gave us a hug ytd n today she prayed for us in e music rm before we left sku. i felt soO touChed, tears were priCkling at my eyes, threatening to overflow. thank God everyone's eyes were closed so they dint see my watery eyes [ did not cry ]. dunno when, she showed us her heart cushion thingie n talked abt soul. i wanted to cry again. but i dint, of cos. when we were in e toning rm waiting for our turn, she said "jus go out there n enjoy urselves. dun worry, leave everything to me", n for e 3rd time tat day, my eyes turned teary. aft we'd performed, we sat dwn to watCh e other grps. st anthony canossians [ sth liddat ] were so damn gd [ they got gold, nanyang gurls got gold wit honours. i thot st anthony did better thouGh ], i almost cried cos i felt tat miss lee's coaChing had gone to waste on us. how come they sang so well n we dint?? cos we dint put in enuf effort + soul. we were jus a useless bunCh of crows. joyce cried aft we exited e stage n i felt like crying tOo, but theres no way id allow anyone to see me cry. we had all let miss lee dwn. she comforted us n say we did well, but it wasnt our best. im so sry i dint do a gd job, tat i ate swts + ice cream + everything she told us not to eat n ended up wit my crap voice which worsens my areadi-terrible singing. she put her heart n soul into teaChing us, she was so sincere!! we've messed things up for her. n i'll nvr get to make it up to her cos im graduating tis yr, n even if i werent, i wudnt how to. we're reali sry!! i nvr thot tat a teaCher wud ever be able to touCh my life liddat, but she reali has. tell ya'll wad happened today some other time. shitty day

marraige??

2005-04-06T20:10:00.000+08:00

jus came baCk frm choir. wa peh.. i kept on zao sia-ing lorr cos of my phelgm n stuffs. hope tmls not liddat. ive aCtuali grown to like choir [!!] n i reali hope we get a silver but my guess is tat we'll jus be awarded wit a bronze. if we're luCky. theyre still "bending" words like crucified + trampled n im still not sure of my notes x__X i made a bet wit sh tat whoever is late [ by 1min ] treats e other sth. lols* oie she oso oways late lorr haha*

huda + ken + ikh + mary were talking abt marraige n stuffs today n they all wan to get married [ gurls at 23, guys at 29 ] n have babies bla [x3]. i said tat i dint wan to get married n huda was so shoCked @.@ she says tat by 18, everyone shd have a serious stead. ive secretly planned for e future areadi hurr* id stead wit my crushes but marry a guy fwen [ purely fwens ony ] so tat we'll have someone to depend on n still be able date others. i mean, wad if e marraige fails?? wad then?? e divorce.. e heartaChe.. e distrust.. e custody of kids.. tats all tOo muCh to take. besides, ive areadi decided who i wanna [ truly ] marry *yes, im positive hes The One*, but since theres 0% chance of tat happening, i'll settle for tis arrangement. we'd adopt 2 kids n tell them frm e start tat they were adopted to prevent any future drama. we [ guy + me ] wun even quarrel n scare e children [ i get to name them!! lols* ive oways wanted to give names to pPle. mebbe its cos i got stuCk wit my suCky name x( ] cos we dun lurb eaCh other anyways. huda is not as shallow as i expeCted. in faCt, shes more dignified than many pPle i know, n she reali knows wad she wans [ im impressed by her + abbas. theyre v alike ]. shes e total paCkage, thouGh a leetle intimidating at times, but tat can also be a plus point. in bold: i do realise im contradiCting myself, but wad do u wan me to do?? tell them how i plan to marry a guy i dun lurb cos im not desirable enuf for him to wan me?? or go into details how marry isnt all its craCked up to be?? theyd jus say im a pessimist or wadever crap thing. but as i said, ive areadi met Him [ umm.. not God lols* ]. but of cos they dunno tat. o ya, in case anyone thot i was idiotic enuf to hand tat [ below ] poem in, i came up wit another one. learnt my chi spelling at sku.. soO many!! but i think i managed to pass [ 71 n above, not 5o ] phew* enuf of chi!!

there was a performance frm "neccessary noise" or sth liddat during assembly jus now n there was tis cute guy *wiit* gawd i wish i were him. sy said tat she saw lotsa [ gurls ] heads turn to loOk at him when he left e stage haa* e skit was abt how "superheros" r amongst us, everywhere. yea.. im wonderwoman!! wit tat to-die-for waist weeee` so anyways, it was reali funny cos they kept doing these idiotic aCtions hyuk yuk yuksss* eew!! i jus drank sth reali nasty!! dad said tat it wud get rid of my couGh by tml morn so i drank it. its fizzy, like coke, n tastes of.. salt [ dad added salt somemore.. bleahsss* ] + some tasteless but not quite tasteless thing. lols* dunno how say. anyways, i tried to imagine tat it was coke i was drinking n chugged it dwn. its fizzy so i felt reeeaaalii blOated, like my tummy was gonna burst. once again, i felt like a frog [ first time: tis morn. i croaked ] oOkies im off to see more yandaos haa* byeee =pPp

kindness poem

2005-04-05T22:35:00.000+08:00

ive totally no idea how to write e poem on kindness [ for cme. 2 stanzas ] i'll show u

"help an old man cross e street
n he'll give u a big treat.
lend someone ur pen
n u'll soon become fwens.

kindness kindness everywhere
on e streets n here n there.
i saw a boi give a cat some food
tat proves tat hes good."

WAHAHAHAAA* oh gawd tis is hopeless lols* how lame is tat^ ?! dun blame me, i dun take lit n anyways, teenagers ony write abt teen angst + heartbreak < /3 + loneliness x'( but i cant afford to stay baCk tml cos tml's e last choir prac. i cant believe syf is on thu!! soO fast!! n theres still phlegm in my throat, my couGhs getting worse, if anything, n i have e "beady" voice when i wake up. like, u know.. o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o <- like ur voice is jumping over these bead thingies. haha* wadever la dunno how say. n get tis: they wan us to reaCh at 6 3o!! uh. tats e time i wake up!! x__x hmmphs* then theres tat ss seq N 1Oo+ chi words to learn. theyre all impt!! o yea, n maths. ok maths can wait hurr* boulevard of broken dreamsss + he wasnt + do somethin` // yeah i lurb them woooOOt` pple, have no fear!! robots wun take over e world!! not when there r coms as dumb as mine arGh* eew.. who was tat?? how insulting [ readers wun understand.. im talking to myself lAAaaa ] hurr* byeee`

blaa

2005-04-05T00:09:00.000+08:00

im screwed. [ no.. no tat screwed, u perv -__- ] id clean forgotten abt e hist test we were gonna have today n i flunked. wad makes it soO damn impt is cos hafizs gonna cheCk it, n those whoever get less than 35/4o goes to PRIL, some kinda self-study thing. i reali forgot ma!! wads a dubar?? sounds like a piece of equipment, but apparently its some kinda hiGh ranking officer/ group. stupid name. my hair was crap today n e worst part is, i know tat it will be tOo tml. i spent e first 3/4 of e day walking wit my eyes on e ground x_x at least hui ying was frank enuf to say tat it suCked haa* no ones gonna lurb me anymore!! ='s ive got a sliGht couGh.. die* cos syf's thu o.O e judges will miss my oh-so-fabulous voice n e choir wun win- cos of me!! ive let u all dwn!! lols* yea wadever. im jus scared i'll go off pitCh or sth n e mikes piCk it up =x shd i put make up for syf?? im talking abt my koji ony la. oh shit* jus rmbed. theyre gonna make us wear briGht red lipstiCk n *gasp* orchirds n our hair!! they did tat e other yr. n miss lee thot mdm ho was jking when she said it. id die if anyone toOk clear pics =xXx went to e lab for fnn n everyone was playing sad songs then i was like soO emo [ its enuf when azfar usually plays "thousand miles- vanessa carlton" ] esp maryam's dunno wad song.. "im here without u.. bla [x3]" e songs were fab, but cudnt at least one of them play some upbeat song?? lyds blog oso has tis ironically-sad [ swt, yet painfully longing ] music. it aCtuali spins a story. it makes me think of someone thinking baCk on e hapPy memories n how she has nth left now, like her world has gone crashing dwn n tat theres no one there for her anymore, like shes left out in e cold, lonely n endless waiting for him. then lyd tells me i have e same midi as her. how come now then can hear sia.. i'll change it if i have e time. recess time.. i saw *'s ****. gawwddd. there werent any new pics/videos so i anyhow see other stuff n suddenly theres tis white ball of "thing"!! x_X tat idiot!! she dint delete those pics!! pollute my innocent =P mind ony. then jenn calls me aft sku n decides to be unreasonable. she was e one who said she'd wait for me aft sku. she dint even ask by wad time i wud be ready, then she blamed me for making her wait. wadever. went hm cheCk hotmail. 2 pple created blogs in fwenster: wan ling + rC. i read both.. rC thinks im avoiding him. well, yeah, but he thinks its aft he confessed, whiCh is so not true!! i started avoiding him ever since a mth [ or so ] aft we met cos smsing him was wu liao. guys reali r e densest creatures in e world. n tats an understatement *roll eyes*. im reali gonna do a list on wad guys shdnt do or sth liddat. teaCh guys all over e world wad to do haha* like hitCh!! weee` imma gd samaritan!! well, aCtuali its oso for me to vent some frustration lols* today liddat.. wad crap manss.. i ony liked e part when we went to mos burger cos i lurb ebi n we talked some crap n stared at some bird's asShole lolssss* ~believe me i can fly, n drop dwn frm e sky~ when is tis bad luCk streak gonna end?! sth real gd had better happen soon. seacrest, over n out-

,,

2005-04-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

theres sth wrong wit my com n im way behind in fnn =s jialat!! meeting jenn tml. hope she wun be late/ ive to stay baCk. shes been quite vexed lately so i dun think im gonna.. ahhblahhs wadever thinkkssss. my hair suCks n skus tml =x faster [x2] fringe grow faster!! mebbe if i feed it wit tonics like ginseng..?? anyway, it wudve ok if it werent soO short but it is. so i think im gonna do a side part tml.. we'll see. soO tired jus wanna slp. oh ya, i dreamt of him 2x today, in seperate dreams. m i gonna see him tml or sth?? tats, like, a sign, rite?? i dunno y i dreamt of him.. as i said, i dun like him anymore. outta siGht, outta mind. yup. watChed "turn riGht turn left" again jus now. i rmb catChing e movie 2x when it first came out. lols* gigi soO cute!! ahh my hairs sth like hers, ony tat my fringes muCh shorter n slanted x( e guy [ wads his name?? ] is suCh a hunk tOo lols* wad did e sign board say again?? "life is full of coincidences. one day even 2 parallel lines miGht meet" sth liddat. stupid fairytales. i bet fOo lee lee hasnt watChed tis show or she wudve had a fit. i can imagine it now lols* "meet my fOot!! parallelogram then will meet la stupid!! how can u say tat!! students will get confused i mus complain to MOE" wahahaa

hair cutty

2005-04-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

cut hair liaosss.. omg!! lols* i loOk soO dumb!! =s i think im gonna have a colony of pimples in no time =x soO tiCklish lehh!! i keep wanting to brush my hair aside but rmb tat it dif now aiyaya* anyways, ITS TOO SHORT!! N I DUN WAN E SLANT!! id prefer straiGht/longer at e sides x((( e person gave me 2 choices: #1 trim fringe. nahhs its boring #2 short fringe. so of cos i chose #2. it loOked pretty gd [ w/o specs ] in my imagination. imagination ma n i dint specify.. so she snip [x5] n it loOked totally weird when she was done cos my prev hair was e whole thing side-parted n tis fringe is supposed to be all hanging dwn. told me i had to wait a few days before my hair set [ keep combing extra part to e other side ] i pray to God it turns out ok!! my hair lenGth has be reduced to shoulder lenGth haha* tis is e shortest ive gone. arGh* sy says my hair loOks rouGh even thouGh it doesnt feel rouGh x( i hate every part of me except my hair!! i think its pretty soft, aCtuali =P hee* we were supposed to go out today but dint in e end cos lyd wanted to go hm first but serene wanted to cut first. heng ar!! lols* or else id have to walk ard wit my blAh hair x_x im suCh a vain pot hor?? anyone who ans "yes" is a dumbass!! boO!! lolssss* im lOopy dOopy kOoky yoooOO

speeCh day rehearsal

2005-04-01T19:23:00.000+08:00

tis has been a horrible wk!! i hate my syf position!! it suCks!! there was speeCh day rehearsal today so we had to sing on stage n guess wa?? there were ony 2 tier thingies, eaCh wit 5 steps so we [ 3 rows ] had to compromise. e last 2 rows split themselves into 4 rows, making e first row reali outstanding cos we were, like, x3 as long as e other 4 rows n we were curved while the rest were in straiGht rows. n i was e one at e end of e row. we were so curved, my side view was facing e audience -_-" n sharil + farhati + mag + sfd [?] were there to witness our awful singing =s if they dun do sth abt it, im not going. i'll tell them i have tuition or sth. was soO tired during choir tat i half-slpt while we sang- standing!! lols* not on stage la.. in music rm. i figured theyd think i was tOo into e song, tat y i closed my eyes haha*

im gonna cut my hair tml. wanna do sth wit my fringe cos i have e dumbest loOking parting in e world [ since now centre parting is suddenly in again. tats wa cleo said anyway ]. i hope lyd doesnt say im copying her or anything cos y wud i wan to copy her when theres angela chang [ shao han ] n jolin tsai out there for me to copy?? there r ony so many hairstyles n theres dunno-how-many ga.bi.zi.trillion pPle in e world. of cos some pple have to sport e same styles, esp when theyre in fashion, duh. hope it wun be a total disaster x_x i was hoping sy wudnt go, aCtuali, but i cant jus ask her to not go ma.. ive been ignoring her a leetle these days [ again ] but u cant blame me.. theres e small-time irritating things tat pple do whiCh irk me for 5mins, n then theres e big-time kiam pa distasteful things pple do whiCh put me off big time. ive been feeling soO tired n irritable lately. dunno wa's making me so grumpy lehh[ not pms!! ]

rC asked me if i wanted to stead today but i dint accept. my non-existent lurblife suCks. i dun like anyone n no one likes me. rC doesnt count

enuf.of.tis.get.out

unfab day

2005-03-31T22:07:00.000+08:00

my fabulous thu- part 1: OMG today soO diu liansss!! dad dint have his taxi tis morning so i had to take e bus to sku n guess wa?? I FORGOT TO BRING MY WALLET!! translation: no ez link, no coins!! id stuffed $7 [ poCket $$ ] in my poCket ealier on, thouGh so at least i wasnt penniless. of all e days!! it was ard 6 5o at tat time n i dint wan to go hm for my wallet n risk getting yellow form [ 4th offence ] + detention [ e ultimate. unlike nass, its not considered to be coOl to have detention in my sku ], so i had to ask people for change. arGh!! i was mortified!! i asked abt 5 pPle n they all dint have any x_x so malu lorr. my eyes mus've been coCked cos there was tis uncle standing there waiting for me to ask him. ok.. obviously he wasnt waiting, but he had a pouCh on, n for uncles, pouCh = coins. thnk God he was there!! i gave him my $2 note n toOk 60cents in return cos i was tOo embarrassed to take anymore. listen, i was ps to e point tat i was semi-paralysed =s e unCle gave me $1.4o more.. aww tats swt.. God bless u wit good karma n all things beautiful yea?? hopefully there wasnt anyone frm sku to witness my humiliation

part 2.. talk abt tis some other time =(

part 3: *!! knn u asshole!! hes is soO kiam pa!! was in e music rm wit sh + him. he borrowed my hP n toOk a [ ugly ] pic of me n sent it to his hP without asking me. offence #1. it was suCh an ugly pic!! #2. he dint ask for my permission to send. i wudve said no cos my hP bills r so hiGh. i send 5pics per mms n he sends ony one.. cudnt he have used his own hp instead?! it has a cam tOo. here comes his biggest fault of all: offence #3.. i kiCked him [ not v forcefully.. playyyyyfully ] n he lifted/ overturned/ wadever my chair, causing me to spawl on e flOor. WTF!!!!! im a gurl n im his senior!! DAMN U!! he ran outta rm, probably thinking tat i was gonna give chase, n came baCk 30secs ltr to apologise. did he think id be so easily appeased?! imma petty gurl so u gotta do more than tat =x my elbow hurt ony a teeny bit frm my fall but wa hurt e most was my bruised ego. i jus ignored him n walked awy whenever he approaChed me. [minor] offence #4. he kept sitting on e tables/ pacing to n fro in front of e choir [ we were in e classrm. miss lee was dwnstairs auditioning e sec1s ]. soO irritating!! i cant stand pple doing tat (or) speaking v softly, like v gurlie + hurt liddat (or) pple who have thiCk lips parting them etc., i dunno y. these stupid non-matters annoy e hell outta me grR* then he kept lOoming in my line of vision. like, direCtly in front of me. i shifted but he moved tOo. continously i was avoiding loOking at him n he kept appearing promptly in front of me. i was areadi pissed enuf n e siGht of him aggravated me even more. i was so desperate to not loOk at him tat i hung my head low n stared at e flOor. even christopher sang wit us, so wa made him think he cud aCt all big shot?? christophers pretty nice. i dunno y sh dislikes him so muCh. at least she claims to.. i think tat on some lvl, she aCtuali secretly loOks up to him haa* anyways, i reali felt like kiCking his sorry ass n punChing him like HBK wud punCh triple H [ or whoevers his enemy now.. its been quite some time since i watChed wwe ]. as it is, i was areadi in a bad mood, partly cos of him, n he had e nerve to stroll ard like some big shot. he walked behind me a few times n i had to fiGht e urge to spin ard, grab him by e pathetic patCh of withered grass growing atop his head n start plummering. he loOked so smug!! for no reason.. idiot. hes oways irritating, but today he was irritating me in particular. im sry if i sound harsh but thinking abt it makes me angry again

part 4: unlike e prev parts, tis parts not abt anything tOo jialat. my syf position's been changed -again- to e leftiest in e 1st row. i prefer my first position [ 3rd row ] where there was jas + sh + christopher to guide me along. my 2nd position [ 2nd row ] wasnt bad tOo cos i cud still hear e 3 of them, thouGh more softly. my present position, whiCh, unfortunately, is e final position, is e worst cos e guy nxt to me sings so softly, i can barely hear him. joey, whos omost behind me but not quite, kept singing e wrong notes, confusing me. i cud hear jas [ my saviour!! ], but barely. e rest who were within 1m radius of me were barely audible as well. im not e strongest singer in e choir, to put it mildly, so i need at least one person who knows wa s/hes doing near me. to make things worse, pei wen + pearlyn were in front of me [ oppo side ]. no, i dun have anything against them, but its so weird loOking into someone elses face while singing, esp pearlyn. she keeps smiling hapPily + loOking upwards, making me wanna lauGh [ <- cos she loOks funny. liddat cant sing ] lols* she v chio tOo.. *envy* tats a rare trait in my sku's choir gurls haha* althouGh i haven exaCtly made many tiGht fwens [ <- yet another understatement x_X ] in choir, i think im gonna miss it. tis is sth i thot id nvr say. i think e one who made e dif is miss lee.. shes my 2nd fave teaCher [ first's sharil ]. e prev instruCtors were crap hee* i lurb britney's "do somethin`" it oways makes me feel better haha* tata~

e gift of healing

2005-03-30T21:30:00.001+08:00

.: I wish I could make everything all right again. I wish I could cure aching hearts everywhere. I wish that there wouldn’t be any suffering, pain or unhappy endings in this world.

"Each human being has a sad story to tell, some more tragic than others, but nevertheless, all are important. In one corner of the world hid a child who had been abused by his parents and siblings and was ostracized in school. He has no one to turn to but himself, literally. Alone, he rambles on about his sad life to his reflection, his sole confidant and friend. No one ever approached him, not even sweet, popular Alice whom he loved ever so deeply. In another corner of the world, an injured Nazi soldier was left to lick his wounds in solitude. He had fought bravely during war against France and lost his right arm to the cause. His wife had disappeared without a trace, leaving him a heroic pauper. Having no kid nor kin left and not a penny to his name, he dwelled in the woods and learnt to live the life lead by cavemen for the his phobia of crowds, earned from the war, was too great. He received nothing for the blood he shed to win the war, and instead lived in isolation."

I am sure that though I made this story up, they are real life stories that have, sadly, happened to people before. That is why I wish for the gift to make everything all right, to set everything straight, to right every wrong, to end the peoples’ suffering and pain, to cure aching hearts and to paint beautiful endings to broken relationships which have been left hanging. I want everyone to be happy, everyone to live a life they would be able to boast about in the netherworld. It plausible to say that we need suffering before we can fully appreciate happiness, but need there be so much sadness in this world? This is a world of broken hearts and shredded dreams. *Chanel lost the one she truly believed she loved to herself and her self-esteem to her mocking friends. Can one be happy without ever tasting love ever again, even if one has all the money or the vastest knowledge in the land? Can one fully heal from the damage from the past and move on like one’s experience had not affected one in any way? Perhaps it is because I am weak, or maybe it is because I am being dramatic, but to me, it is an impossible feat. [ uh, not like ive ever exp any kinda crap like chanel. itsa fake name to proteCt her identity ] Lives are not the only things that need to be saved. So save our souls. :.

* lols` i dun even know whether ive got my faCts rite or not. abt germany fiGhting against france, i mean. n living like a caveman sounds dumb tOo but wadever. im jus trying to make things more dramatic haha* dun even know y i decided to write all tis but i did so might as well post it. e 2nd para shd sound familiar cos i think lotsa bks have startings like tis. im jus taking a cue frm them. ahh crap la wadever

2005-03-30T20:58:00.000+08:00

so disappointed.. i got 1o/3o for my eng. arGh* i shd reali borrow more bks le. hist got 8/13. not tOo gd, but at least i passed. sharil has gotta be e dumbest teaCher in e world. he aCtuali thinks we [ e "chinatown gurls" ] dun like him. he's aCtuali my fave teaCher by far lorr. shit* theres chem test tml n im clueless

for ur info, im not as fiCkle as u think. but im not gonna waste my time explaining it to u. who cares wa u think

wa's wrong wit rC?! he stopped msging me for ard a wk or so but now hes baCk to msging me again abt stuff im not interested abt [ wad he did bla x3 ] i saved $3o not msging him lorr. see!! tats how muCh boring sms can cost. its not like i dint tell him i dun like to msg muCh [ read: not at all ] cos my hp bills r hiGh [ true, but tis reason ranks 2nd ]. nvm. im gonna do wa i did. nth. as in not reply most of e time/reply damn late

id like to offer my condolences + my sincerest apologies to miss mynah [ 28o3o5 ] it was morning n i was in dads taxi. i spotted it our way n told dad but he said tat it wud fly awy on its own n carried on driving. i loOked baCk n there it was, dead x_x

i know i wavered, but im gonna take my "antidote", n tat'll put everything baCk in place. ha. take tat

i.so.hate.tis.dun.wanna.know.anything

??spongebob

2005-03-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

tonite soO cosy.. im eating m&ms [ + lyChee ice cream jus now.. yummy!! ] n theres no sku tml weee` i think i ____. arGh*

watChed spongebob wit lyd + sy it was soO lame lols* i saw all my fwens there.. boOng- sandy [ hamster n squirrel abt e same la hor ], serene- e stiCk post thingie king neptune bumped into, sy- mrs pops, lyd- seahorse lols* i dint like e pirate parts thouGh. so extra =x not as gd as i expeCted la but not bad. i lurb mr krabbs' claws!! soO shiny!! i sung along wit e pirates e spongebob sqpants song lolssss* i dun think anyone cud hear me sing [ tat y i dare ma haa*] wanna hear?? here goes:

"who lives in a pineapple under e sea??
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!
porous n absorbent n yellow is he
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!
is ...??.... nonsense sth u wish??

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!

then drop on e deCk n flop like a fish!!
spongebob squarepants [x2]
spongebob.. SQUARE-PANTSSSS!!!!
* tuu tuu tOo dOo tuu toOt!! * "

LOLSSSSSSSSS*

shit* im not even wavering. im falling. completely. baCk to sq[pants] one. its not e person, but e feeling tat im in lurb wit. oh gawd im nuts

cute guy

2005-03-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

met jenn today to cut [ her ] hair + run + study. as oways, we ended up not studying. aiyaa i prediCted it liaos so i ony brouGht one bk along. i did contemplate cutting my hair tOo cos jenn asked me to cut n cos i wanna change my fringe but decided against it. haa* i scare ltr go sku loOk v nerdy + kiam pa cos i wear specs in sku n no koji --@.@-- jenn loOks weird wit her hair dwn now lols* her hairs thiCk + straiGht [ not v shape or wa ] now n is 4inChes [?] below her shoulder. she soO naggy!! keep complaining her hair short n stuffs. ya lorr cut areadi not so nice but we'll see aft 2wks when her hair has 'settled dwn'. met sy + jx cos jx wanted to see her hair. i think i reali v not close to sy now. nth to say to her, esp aft she told me abt tat [ yet another ] guy. sometimes shes nice, but sometimes she jus.. aiyaa dunno how she think la wadever. anyways, we ran a bit ard her hse area there for a short [x2] while cos hee* no stamina. heii areadi v gd lorr. last time we oways say run [x3] but end up watChing mtvs at her hse or sth. a grp of soccer guys [ outside league or sth?? ] zoOt`ed/ swiit`ed at us but we dint loOk at them. i saw one when we passed them [ sitting ] thouGh. yandao sia!! lols* then we went dwnstairs again shortly aft, walking thru e carpark instead of under e void deCk cos if so near i think we will paiseh si haha* but they still called out to us [ tis guy wanna know u.. blue colour yellow colour ] lols* dunno wa they talking but so paiseh!! we like so dao rite?? but no lorr.. turning ard to ans them or wadever wud have been reali awkard wa then loOk stupid =x still, i wish id loOked baCk to see their faces. we toOk a detour going baCk to jenns hse but theyd areadi gone

e stupid 'e eye 1o' soO desperate!! their ads r everywhere!! tv have, 93.3 oso have. cudnt slp last nite cos of their freaking ads so i squeezed myself onto e mum + dads bed. i swear, i was lying on not more than 25cm of e bed, but i dint wan to wake mum up. to make it worse, e rm was hot + stuffy so i felt all stiCky n stuffs. i was soO frustrated cos i was slpy but cudden slp so i made these "hrummph"-ing noises n woke dad up. dad asked y i was angry n i think i gave him some rude brush off ans. i dint wan to ask dad to accompany me to slp [ yayaya.. imma big baby ] cos he n mum have not been slping together [ umm.. im not talking abt sex here ] often. tis happened once before, n i had ended up not slping e whole damn nite. i ony got to get some shut-eye for 3o mins [ mum woke up. theres life in e hse again ] before i had to go to sku. so anyways, i watChed some tv n tried to slp but still cudnt [ i fell aslp at some point but woke up shortly ] n went baCk baCk to mums rm ony to find dad missing. he wasnt in e spare rm either. i called him n he said he was chaffuering his fwen hm. wa fwen is tat ar?! idiot.. cant he call a cab?? 3+ am [ not san gen ban ye.. it reali was 3+ ] ask my dad fetCh him.. asshole. but im guessing tat hes lying. mebbe hes frustrated cos he thot i dint "allow" him to slp wit mum or sth. i feel like a 3rd party, breaking up my parents. so evil. in e end i slpt in his place, nxt to mum. siGh* if my parents ever file for a [ CHOI!! TOUCH WOOD!! GOD FORBID!! ] divorce, itd be my fault

uh oh. im slipping. jus liddat ony n im slipPing again. tis shd nvr happen

2005-03-24T22:03:00.000+08:00

e pianist came during choir today. dunno whether to call ms lee professional or hypocritical haha* cos she was vv pissed at s1 before e pianist arrived, but in her presence, she pasted on a big smile n aCted like her normal cheerful + sot [x2] self haa* shes quite amazing cos shes not even, wa??, 2o??, n yet she reali knows how to teaCh [ compared to mrs ho + ms tan- prev coaChes ]. shes still studying but coaChes 2 choirs part time. so anyways, she kept asking me to smile n miming for me to loOk at her lols* v ps cos her exp v funny. i did loOk at her lehh.. but mebbe my eyes did wander off. itd be easier if she were a hunk haa* im not saying tat i dun smell or anything but jus lemme complain awhile la hor.. ms lee made us stand at e baCk of e [ ava ] rm in our positions to sing n it was damn cramped baCk there =( soO smelly!! i cud smell rancid sweat to my left, so i shifted to my right. but she tOo reeked of tat sour odour!! n i had to keep taking in deep breaths to sing =xXx arGh*

yay!! guess wa?? i beat sy in eating lunCh today lols* normally im e last to finish my nOodles or wadever we're having even thouGh i bouGht a smaller portion but today i ate e same amt lorr!! weee` dunno how lyd eat soO fast mus be she jus *am mam mam mam.. zoOt -swallow- * lols* then it soO suay i tripPed over dunno wa n i sorta fell =( malu!! i was kinda standing on one leg n e other knee hit e grd n rebounced baCk up or sth lolsss* R MY KNEES TAT FAT?!?! =s of cos, lyd + sy lauGhed their stewpiit heads off.. idiots -_- <- unimpressed/ bored face. haiyaya* y do i have suCh dumb fwens lolsss

im soO full n reali tempted to read u e list of things i ate today whiCh makes me reali guilty again. u wanna hear?? ok la today i dun ltr dora slp while reading lols* n lyd droOl on to her keyboard [ whiCh will then spoi ] cos she imagine all e fOod i mention haha* had hist test today n everyone wrote soO muCh!! wa were we supposed to write abt?? even sy wrote more than me, whiCh can ony mean one thing: jialat!! but then again, shes been studying lately, although she appears nonchalant abt it all, so mebbe theres hope for me aft all?? lols* im desperate =x i reali intended to study last nite but there wasnt anything in e bk, n e bed was so comfy n e music so soOthing [ ok.. not quite, but definately pleasant ] tat i drifted off to slp once again.zZ

wee.eu.wiit~ e chn 8 show now got 2 seriiouusslyyy cute guys *droOl* lols* i dun watCh e show but one of them is frm "e champions". tat yandao lifeguard u know?? yupPp.. n another guy wit a tuft of purple hair oso. haa* not ony e guys lorr joanne peh + tat mother [ dunno who she ] oso v chio. joanne has e prettiest eyes any asian, ok.. sgporean anyway, cud have hmmphs* i wan!! n her figure oso =(

cnt believe u

2005-03-22T16:24:00.000+08:00

read tis bk, "be more chill", ytd. it wasnt tat gd, but dunno y i wasnt able to put it dwn. read for 4hrs straight [ skipping e boring parts ] n i felt all disorientated when i loOked up. lols* it said eminem died in some kinda accident =x. its abt tis totally geeky guy who wants badly to be coOl, so he paid $5Oo + $1Oo [ seperate pple ] for tis leetle pill thingie whiCh aCtuali contained a microchip whiCh wud direCt him wa to do [ in his brain. its a voice talking to him in his head ] so tat he wud be coOl. he toOk it n it worked wonders.. until e thing became spoilt. e end. aft reimerging frm my reading-hibernation for these past 2yrs or so, i rmb y i used to lurb reading [ oh gawd i sound like suCh a nerd!! im a total slaCker but i lurb eng =) ]. it brings me into another realm. its like im in another zone where none of e stuff in real life matters n im jus a fly or sth, observing e lives of e charaCters in e bk. but its aCtuali a hazard to my studies cos most of e time id be reali into e bk n wan to finish it all at one go so i wudden have time to do my hmwk/ revision [ not like i do any anyways haa* ]

i cant believe she doesnt feel ashamed or anything remotely liddat. i guess she knows tis is wa im thinking, even when i dint say it out loud

fibre

2005-03-21T18:29:00.000+08:00

met jenn for lunCh at bedok library [ theres a in-built cafe ] n we were soO lame!! lols* we kept laughing abt one stupid word: fibre. its nth funny lorr aCtuali.. jenn wanted to find bks abt dietary fibre so we typed "fibre" into e com n it was stated there tat there were 5 authors bearing e name fibre. jenn started giggling n it was infeCtious~ i started laughing uncontrollably n we were still at it aft 1o mins haa* we were like idiotic leetle kids crapping n making lame jks [eg: thinking if there were pple called carbo(hydrates) <- japanese cos e "hy" is like "haik" ] lols* we were laughing like nobodys business in a library [ SRY!! ].. like 2 maniacs who broke outta an asylum =x haa* ltr on, i decided to cliCk to see where those authors were frm, n it turned out tat we were laughing over nth cos none of the authors' names contained e word fibre x_X doinks!! we were like country bumpkins at e cafe tOo.. jenn dint know how to eat an eclair using a fork [ n i dun either. jus use hand can liao ma.. but there like use hand so ps ] so i had to keep helping her poke here poke there + she shoOk e cup when there was a hole at e top, causing soda to spill all over [ onto her eclair as well haha* ] + me thinking e thiCk white thing underneath e crispy skin or wadever of e fish was fat n asking jenn to loOk over her shoulder before quiCkly spitting it out into my empty muffin cup + me cutting up e fish skin thingie as if i were executing an op to get e salmon/ tuna/ wadever inside + us leaving e table wit a lot of fOod left over haha* e fOod wasnt tOo exp but i feel kinda guilty. tat was reali wasteful. but i was soO full!! but theres one bad thing wit being ard jenn.. shes pretty n i loOk like a total nerd nxt to her x( i mean, aft sku wit my asSholey fwens lyd + sy can lAa.. theyre not muCh of a babe themselves ma lols* though i still feel inferior. i guess loOks matter a lot to me, n im talking abt everything, not jus myself. wa a realist huh?? =(

i know who steven likes/ liked n shes e total paCkage: popular + pretty + smart. wa more can u ask for?? shes so purrfeCt!! i cud nvr be like her in a million yrs. anyway i dun like steven anymore so tats fine by me

early start

2005-03-19T12:47:00.000+08:00

woke up at 7+ today!! waking up so early on a sku-less sat morning is v li hai of me rite.. so applause pls~ my reward [ for tat n helping mum to carry e groceries ] = strawberries + frozen yogurt + ice cream. weee` =) mum kept nagging at me to get up to go to e polyclinic cos of tat leetle bump thingie i had near my elbow. dad wanted to see it but i refused to let him n he got all fed up. dad, being dad, kept asking y [x3] n stuffs. i hate it when he does tat!! he thinks hes being patient n concerned n stuffs. yea rite. it jus makes me wan to scream. he does it all e time. he thinks im aneroxic, can u believe it?? he can ask sh.. i think she thinks im e worlds biggest glutton. apparently im a glutton for punishment tOo, cos sometimes his "whys" reali get to me n i end up shouting at him or sth, whiCh earns me even more whys. id reali rather he slapPed me across my face. at least id get a radiant flush then, instead of a higher risk of having heart attaCk in old age. im v impatient. anyways, i made him so mad, he drove us to e clinic [ hes a taxi driver ] like a maniac, n i rmb myself thinking y he wudnt drive like tis on sku mornings. it was scary cos he kept skimming curbs n stuff. n he prides himself for being patient + understanding + wadever?? heh. *smirk* but i was worried, aCtuali, so i told him to be careful on e road, whiCh was quite courteous of me =pPp cos i was pissed at him tOo. mebbe it seems to him a purrfeCtly normal thing to do but to me it doesnt. i feel weird embarrassed + self-conscious, like a small part of me is a mutant [ i thot it was cancer ]. i still feel weird abt it now, even though e doC has told me its a cist n tat its nth to worry abt. went to ntuc aft going to e clinic. i had wanted to go to e library at first since it was morning n all, but changed i my mind, dunno y.. forgot liaos haha* i loOked outta e window of e bus n saw some pple frm his sku. hmm..

pursed lips

2005-03-18T22:57:00.000+08:00

watChed extreme makeover jus now. i wan to go for one tOo!! those 2 pple r reali pitiful.. were, i mean. theyve everything going for them now. i realised tat americans mostly have nice eyes, n tat their prob areas r mostly their noses + ears. kacie n james both had reali croOked noses n sad pasts. well, wa matters most is e present, n they have eaCh other now. tis sounds somewad like a cinderella story, aCtuali. siGh* i wan double eyelids!! i wan a browlift [ whiCh will uncover e other halves of my eyes ]!! then i watChed 'ur e one' [ or sth liddat. y do they oways have to have suCh idiotic sounding names?? ] meili got together wit simon at last!! woOt~ christopher lee is suCh a hunk!! anyways, there was tis fotO of simon + meili n it reminded me of duncan <- jeremy [ i change his name liaos haa* ] cos his expression resembled tat of duncans in our class fotO. n, sad to say, i guess meili resembles me tOo =x wadever

ms lee changed my syf position frm e 3rd row to e 2nd. doesnt make muCh dif, fortunately, cos i was sandwiChed in btwn jasmine + sh [ loud n precise ] n now theres christopher [ ditto j + sh ] omost direCtly behind me haha* my ony complaint is tat i feel like a giant compared to e 2 gurls, whose names ive forgotten xpPp hee*, on either side of me. i hate teaChers knowing my name cos they tend to call on u more when they do =s

had a dream last nite. a damn dumb one alAaaa pufffffOOooooo stewpiit im lOopy im lOopyyyy o.O dreams r dumb cos they nvr come true

______ stuff beyond tis line was edited [ added ] @ 00 02_________

ive 3o mins to while awy.. waiting for "my wife n kids" to start. so lets talk some crap, shall we?? stupid. how can one talk to oneself?? esp when one is as intelligent + logical as myself lols* k wadever. taking a break frm my speak gd eng campaign now. talked to rC thru msn jus now. he soO sappy.. once in awhile/ wit his close pal nvm la but im jus an aqquaintance [ is tat how u sp it?? ahh wadever ] ma. so im like trying to be nice n stuffs, whiCh I AM =D, talking wit him abt it a bit although i dun reali know wa he was talking abt. its sth to do wit lurb ma.. so he ask then i ans lorr. its gd to confide in others abt tis kinda stuff, but not all e time. it gets reali boring. u see sh + hm la.. hm's deluding herself. ko lian gai

dreamt abt steven last nite. i ony rmb a bit lehh. he wrote 3 testis for me then i keep on go cheCk here cheCk there wanna make sure is reali him n stuffs. lols* like v concerned or wadever one lorr. zhong zhi, is he like me de la but obviously tats not e case in reality. anyways i dream abt him doesnt mean tat i like him tat muCh. i jus happened to dream abt him tats all. got one time he was abt to hold my hand or sth [ another dream ] when si lyd called me. grR!!* even dream oso cannot =( nvm.. jus make sure u dun call me when i dream abt tat wuji guy [ total hunk!! ] or edison chen/ daniel wu/ nicholas tse/ chen xiao chun kissing me, ok????? lAaaaaa yup i like older guys so wa?? older is sexy!! yay!! n younger is cute!! ard e same age is jus boooring lols* im jus bitter. wadever~

i know tis is e epitome of cliches but wadever.. lemme say it "i cant believe its sat areadi!! 2 more days [ since its midnite ] till sku reopens!! so fast lorr" but its true wa!! i go to sku omost everyday.. o ya!! i wanna complain ar!! as i said, im born to be late. had to take taxi to choir again [ still late =x ] then wtf* i wait soO lOoong then those pPle steal my taxi!! they stOod in front. wad sia!! knn* no taxi cos my hse near mosque then fri prayers. at least today de uncle dint go wrong way like ytd one or not i reali will wanna smaCk him. ya i violent.. cannot ar wanna fight?? lols* ok bullshit time over. awhile more can watCh tv liaos. miChael.. O michael..!! im waiting!! nitee` o ya, hapPy bufday to jx. + kung da n hapPy belated bufday to y [ 17/3. saw on fwenster alert thingie ]

congrats, steven

2005-03-17T19:42:00.000+08:00

i think steven has a stead. sure sounds like it. well, i hope ur hapPy

i seem to rediscover my passion for ice cream every 3mths or so. shit* its making me real fat

was late for choir today. i guess im born to be late, cos i had 3o mins to spare before going out, n i dunno wa i did, but i dragged it till i was late. then e taxi uncle was like waCko. he dint know how to go tpss n i had to correCt him twice. he ended up taking a long route.
nth muCh to say today la tata`

lOoong post

2005-03-16T20:39:00.000+08:00

extremes like ytd's lau-pa-sat-auntie meets nyc case shd nvr happen again!! boO!!!!!! -(#)o <- tats my dumb fwen =pPp who repeated to me wa i told her in e past when she dint believe in it at all. oh well, i guess i dint either but heii!! as i said, tat was an extreme case =x anyways, i created it myself.. nice?? haha* hoiieee e faCt tat i called myself a dimwit doesnt u can call me tat tOo cos ur more of one than i m lols* =pPp o yea, btw, its known tat i have impeccable taste lolssss

im feeling soO guilty today!! ate 2 ice creams + 2 pkts [ 1 ony, aCtuali. but i know tat i'll finish e 2nd pkt ltr anyways haa* ] famous amous + 1 pkt small m&ms + 1 bowl beef noOdles + 1 serving spinaCh today, whiCh doesnt sound muCh, but u wudnt know till uve counted e kcals, wud u?? its a whopping total of [ assuming tat e noodles was 500cal, spinaCh 80cal ] 1686cal!! omg!! n i know im gonna eat more ltr. i cudnt help it.. i haven had ice cream for 2 days n was dying for it =s it feels as if i haven had beef noOdles for 1 yr. aCtuali, i think it has been a yr lols* jus for e record, todays e first time [ ever!! ] ive had a normal meal, meaning no fast fOod, wit lyd + sy. n ive known them for 1yr +. yea.. i know.. my misfortune rite?? haha* anyways, i promise to squat properly during choir nxt time to work off those excess calories [ bleahssss ]

ms lee reali enjoys making us sing solo. ok.. i know she doesnt but she makes us do tat often anyways. like all e prev times, i felt e warmth seep outta my fingers, even though she ony wanted us to sing 8 words, whiCh are reali ony 2 words, but in repetitions n dif pitChings. surprisingly, i did fine =D n tat put me in a reali gd mood. dun ask me y. i dun reali care muCh abt choir so.. wadever. mebbe its re jiu shen qing?? lols*

was late for bio today by 1Omins. thnk God he dint throw any chairs or anything drastic liddat. he was all jokey n stuff. sometimes its not reali funny though, like when i slammed his fist on e table at one point "jus to make sure i was listening". i was!! being e gd im xP luCkily i dint lose my *ahem* composure haa* lyd is so unprediCtable. i dun mean tis in a bad way though. she came over to sit wit me during bio today. tat was definately unexpeCted [ gd ]. but she refused to accompany me for a mere 1Omins [ time to choir ], sth whiCh i thot was geh gao, if u know wa i mean. i mean, its ony 1Omins.. [[ Ooii!! i got say u gd hor dun get into a hissy fit la lols* ]] im starting to like sy better again =) id better not say anything to jinx things. its not going gd, its jus going normal, but im one of those suay pple so its a nice change. eg of luCky pple: anna + sy. totally suay pple: me + dora. half suay half luCky pple: lyd + jenn

i dunno y adults can ever EVER think tat their life is easier than ours. they wudnt last a day in my shoes, n neither wud they in urs [ all teens reading tis dumb blog ]. its hard to hide awy ur insecurities, even if u type them in itsy bitsy fonts *conspirational wink* im not saying all tis cos im feeling dwn. i jus saw sth n its making me feel all emo again. whiCh is making me feel quite stupid *duhhh urrrhhhh.. ahhh* wadever

wow* tis is one lOoong post!! so now ya'll know.. im a naggy old hag *gahhh!!* =xXx

hitCh

2005-03-15T22:46:00.000+08:00

waaa!! soO scary!! i was on e bus hm n i saw e ad for "e eye 1o". they showed it at least 3x lorr!! doesnt tv mobile have anything else?? so i was in e lift alone n i was startled by a freaking ant. it was crawling n i thot e lift wall was moving or sth. then i started singing to myself but tat did me no gd. sy + lyd + me were discussing abt wa to watCh n i saw, in e leetle tv thingie outside cs cinema, a gurl rubbing some gross gritty stuff into her eye n e nxt thing i knew, she had her eyeball in hand!! eeeew!! went out wit e 2 dummies today n they were both wearing blaCk tees + 3/4s. huh?! lyd said she wud bring an extra tee to change into if sy was oso wearing a blaCk tee but she dint n she said not to wear e same as her cos it wud loOk reali weird wit e 3 of us wearing e same stuff. i had forgotten tat we were going all e way to bishan [ meet their fwen or sth ], so i jus wore white tee + light purple shorts [ in contrast to them ] n i loOked soO odd!! grR* n in e end we dint even see e guy. grR [x2]* heii.. i dint wan to go there in e first place, u know. we toOk photos but kept deleting. hmmphs* i wan at least one pic e 3 of us lehh!! watChed HitCh.. it was gd!! si lyd + sy wanted to watCh boogeyman at first but i was like "nononoO", then sy asked me to buy e tics. i thot tat theyd given in to me, so i bought tics for HitCh. i mean, if they wanted to watCh boogeyman, they wudnt have lemme buy e them, rite?? but turns out tat they werent so kind lols* tOo bad.. id areadi bought e tics xP woOt~ i was reali hoping to see steven today.. no suCh luCk. hmmphs*

i was thinking abt e movie n yea, pple reali wudnt notice pple like albert. i know i wudnt. but is there reali true lurb?? sy doesnt believe in it, n jenn refuses to believe in anything but it. i guess there is true lurb, but it ony exists btwn some pple. others r fated not to be wit e one they truly lurb. wadever